TITLE: Free Agent
GENRE: Urban Fantasy
In modern day New York, where wishes are bought and sold, a woman enslaved to the Fairy Godfather struggles to find her own happily ever after.
Miss Snark's First Victim
Miss Snark's First Victim
This is a great logline and has me hooked already. I love that you don't burden me with details; you just give me the juicy stuff.
ReplyDeleteThis is really cute and I'd read the novel just on that line... but I have a feeling the other comments you get will ask for more.
ReplyDeleteYep! I'd like to know why she struggles and what her own happily ever after. There's a whole other question about why she's enslaved and what that means, but I think the backstory is less important than the central goal.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, the fact she's enslaved implies enough of a struggle. I was going to say give me a little more more, but I think you give just enough. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteNot my cup of tea, but I think the logline works as it is supposed to. Good job!
ReplyDeleteShort, sweet, to the point. Exactly what I strive to write and find in a logline. I'm intrigued!
ReplyDeleteI loved this! I agree with Vicorva and Patchi, I'm already hooked. Others want might want more, but this is enough for me. I would totally start reading based on this one line!
ReplyDeleteI like this. You could add a line, or a few more words about the woman, but it isn't needed. I think it's fine as it is. :)
ReplyDeleteSounds very interesting. I think the idea of buying and selling wishes will hook a lot of people as is (obviously by the comments). If you want to add more you could be more specific abiut her struggle. Does she want freedom? Is she looking for love? Does she want to be normal? Great job though. You are absolutely hooking everyone :)
ReplyDeleteThis is my favourite logline out of the bunch. Nice and short and leaves me wanting to know more. Good work!
ReplyDeleteShort and to-the-point like a logline should be. Love it.
ReplyDeleteReally cool concept, but I'd like to know a bit more about the MC: young, old, and enslaved why/how. Really like the godfather angle. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteReally cool concept, but I'd like to know a bit more about the MC: young, old, and enslaved why/how. Really like the godfather angle. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteCute. I would read more.
ReplyDeleteI really like this premise!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure you need the first part: "In modern day" - I think this is implied by your genre. I would start with "A woman enslaved..." Also, I think it would be better to specify what would constitute her happily ever after. I would love to read this :) I hope the Fairy Godfather is funny or fat or sexy :)
Sounds fun, and gets me thinking, how did she become enslaved and what is her wish. I like it!
ReplyDeleteConcise, with the balance between providing information and creating intrigue. Just what a logline should do.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this short and sweet logline and cannot wait to read the story and see the movie (FG played by Danny Devito, perhaps?)But part of me wants more, even though I don't need it. I think mainly I'm jealous because it's so good!
ReplyDeleteTo me this was spot on.
ReplyDeleteI would maybe like to know more about her struggle, but this is great as it is. It gets across the setup & idea of the story in just the one sentence, a really good logline.
ReplyDeleteShort and to the point. I liked the logline.
ReplyDeleteThis is good, short and wsweet. But I'd like to know more about the godfather -- good or evil; out for his own interests? You could add a barb to your hook.
ReplyDeleteJust FYI- you inspired me to write a super-short one-liner for my MS, although the longer one does give a few more details. But I wanted to see if it could be done, and it can, by golly. So thanks and good luck!
ReplyDeleteThis is a description of your plot, not a logline. You need a tangible goal because we can't see "happily ever after". You also need some kind of stakes to her not finding it as well as an antagonist that wants to stop her from finding it. I know other people have said they like this because it's short and to the point, but I honestly would rather read 3 sentences that give me everything than 1 that gives me very little.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Holly
I'm not into "urban fantasy", nevertheless you have an intriguing logline - short and hooky.
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