TITLE: Isabel Slate Makes the News
GENRE: MG Contemporary Fiction
I slide the last copy of my newspaper into the Smite’s birdhouse mailbox and click the little door shut. When I look up, C.K. Spicer, the cool new kid at Francis Mott School, is riding his bike up the sidewalk. Even sitting on his bike, he’s tall and skinny like a stretched out rubber band.
C.K. slams on his brakes, missing my left foot by half an inch. I want to walk away, but I can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he annoys me.
"Hey, Isabel, I’ve never heard of an animal listening to a baseball game.”
Miss Snark's First Victim
“I slide the last copy of my newspaper.” I am assuming this person (Isabel) is delivering newspapers like she has a route, but I think the phrasing “copy of my newspaper” is ambiguous like maybe she’s Xeroxed a bunch of homemade newspapers or such. I like “click the little door shut” because I can hear it, so this detail brings me out of the abstract and into the story. Sensory info is so important early on. I then see that Spicer is cool and stretchy, that’s good. The final statement, the one from Spencer to the narrator, Isabel, is *huh?* So, that’s good. I want to see what he is talking about, so I would read on. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteThe "my" newspaper makes it sound like she/he is the publisher or the owner of the paper which confuses me right from the start since it's probably a paper route (but I'm just guessing that). Aside from that, I think this is cute although "the cool new kid at Francis Mott School" is telling.
ReplyDeleteHolly
I really like this. I love the imagery of a stretched out rubber band. I love how much we get about what she thinks of CK from such a short bit. Him skidding to a stop is classic boy ;) Well done!
ReplyDeleteAs the others have noted, I'm not sure about the phrasing 'copy of my newspaper' unless it's her own newsletter. Then that would make sense. I love the term 'stretched out rubber band.'. I wouldn't mention the cool kid line. Let their conversation and actions reveal their places in the school social scene. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteYou might say "copy of my homemade newspaper" or something similar.
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