TITLE: Persephone's Waltz
GENRE: Adult Fantasy
Holy Maiden Ysabel has four months left to live. When she stops the assassination of Dark Lord Kaine, a trans man leading a rebel army, he takes it upon himself to rescue her from becoming a human sacrifice—by kidnapping her. Hades X Persephone meets the humor of Terry Pratchett and the world-building of N.K. Jemisin.
Miss Snark's First Victim
Use extreme caution in thinking or presuming you match the wit of Terry Pratchett. If you can? Sell that in your pitch, not the comp.
ReplyDeleteOooh! I love the comps here! I'm always down for a Hades and Persephone retelling :)
ReplyDeleteI tripped over the subject change in the second sentence. The first part "When she stops the assassination of Dark Lord Kaine, a trans man leading a rebel army," the subject is Ysabel, but then (I think) it switches abruptly to Kaine in "he takes it upon himself to rescue her..."
For clarity, it might be worth writing the entire pitch with Ysabel as the subject. But if it's necessary to start with her then switch to Kaine, at least separate their actions into separate sentences.
Very cool premise!
I am intrigued by how it is the Dark Lord saving her from being sacrificed and as to why (is it part of his rebel plans, or was it out love initially). It took me a second read through to make sure I did not mix up on who was being rescued from the human sacrifice. By the way, on my second read through, I got curious to know if her being saved from the sacrifice bought her more than four months to live - great set up!
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