TITLE: THE WOODLANDS HEIR
GENRE: YA Fantasy
Elwyn’s magic burns down her beloved magical woodlands in the faerieland, Elhaim. An irritatingly handsome half-fae sullenly agrees to help her control the magic and restore the forest. He brings her to his island and she realizes soon after that it wasn’t a coincidence she met him.
Miss Snark's First Victim
So close! I wonder about changing a few things, like "When Elwyn's out of control magic accidentally burns down her beloved magical woodlands, an irritatingly hot half-fae grudgingly agrees to help her control her magic and restore the forest. He brings her to his island, where she realizes their meeting wasn't a coincidence and her faerieland might now be in jeopardy..." or whatever dark secret he possess. Sounds like a good read!
ReplyDeleteAhh that’s so helpful :) thank you!!
DeleteMy issue is that I don't know what happens. You've shared a strong inviting incident, but no overall plot pitch that engages me.
ReplyDeleteI like it up until the last when I need to know WHY it wasn't a coincidence. That's where the stakes lie.
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty strong. I like Dj’s suggestion and agree with the others that the “coincidence” is maybe too vague. Even a hint at whether going to the island is a good thing or a bad thing to give an indication of the direction this story is going — romance, war, destiny?
ReplyDeleteSmall thing, but I'd drop "Elhaim." It's not needed, and it's easier to understand short pitches with fewer fantasy words.
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