TITLE: Being More than OCD
GENRE: YA Mystery
When OCD Jenna attends a film site, she interrupts the director's murder. He picks her to star opposite his gorgeous son in his new film. She must become a dynamite actor before the murderer returns and ruins her and her film debut.
Miss Snark's First Victim
Referring to her as 'OCD Jenna' sounds more like a title, like 'Lord' or 'star soccer player.' How does having OCD affect the plot? So far, it feels tacked on. "Despite her OCD causing/preventing x, Jenna..." would tie it together more.
ReplyDeleteNaming OCD doesn't seem related to plot that sounds like a typical mystery television plotline? Find your uniqueness.
ReplyDeleteAgree about the OCD--not seeing how it connects. I'm also confused. I thought she walked in on the director murdering someone. Is he casting her in the lead to keep her quiet? But then you say before the murderer returns. Now I don't know who the murderer is. Can you clarify?
ReplyDeleteI thought at first the Director was filming a murder and she interrupted the scene. But when I read the line about her getting a part I realized she must’ve prevented the Director from being murdered. Neat premise on a way to get an acting gig. But then I was confused about stakes. Wouldn’t the murderer be after the Director and not the new actress? Maybe clarify why Jenna is now the one at risk of being killed.
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of questions about this pitch. I agree, if OCD is related to Jenna and the plot, we should see or not mention. I also thought she interrupted the director murdering someone and that's why she got the part. Also, I think that there is a more technical term for "film site" that you could use, "on set"? I'm not sure. I wonder why the murderer is going to return? Why did she get the role if she's not a good actress?
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