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Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Hook the Editor #4

TITLE: Skyline
GENRE: YA Contemporary

After they drifted apart and decided to move on from the past, four teenagers reunite to help their depressed classmate, and ex-friend, Josh. When grudges, crushes, and complicated feelings for Josh get in the way of success, they have to confront their own struggles and come to grips with their shared past--before Josh ends everything for good. SKYLINE is a 100K word novel with multiple perspectives.

It was the greatest torture method ever devised by humanity, a practice so cruel and vicious it would break even the strongest hearts, an invention which put the circles of hell to shame.
Ballroom dancing lessons.
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8 comments:

  1. Derrick CamardoOctober 1, 2019 at 11:56 AM

    YES - The pitch was just okay for me, but I really loved the first sentences.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousOctober 1, 2019 at 1:22 PM

    YES, I would read on

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownOctober 2, 2019 at 1:42 PM

    YES
    The pitch was okay, not sure you need "decided to move on from the past" as I think that happens when people drift apart. I loved the first lines. No denying how the narrator feels about ballroom dancing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tiffany DawnOctober 2, 2019 at 4:08 PM

    NO
    The pitch was too vague for me, although the first lines are very strong. I'd want to know a bit more about these 4 teenagers so that I can get invested.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Loretta ChefOctober 3, 2019 at 10:45 AM

    NO. Even though I adore the first lines, the pitch didn't ground me enough. I think you might start with what happened in the past, then tell us they drifted apart, then introduce current crisis with Josh. You can save the housekeeping (title and word count) for the query letter to add more plot deets to the pitch.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Victoria DixonOctober 3, 2019 at 11:04 AM

    YES The pitch worked fine, but the opening sentence goes on a bit too long. Use words that work on multiple levels. Then you don't need so many.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Maddie RodriguezOctober 3, 2019 at 12:20 PM

    YES: I'm not the biggest fan of the pitch. It's probably more of a me thing though because I dont tend to read a lot of contemporary. However, those are some killer opening lines! There's immediate voice and humor. Good luck :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. AliceOctober 4, 2019 at 2:13 PM

    YES

    Love the first lines. I think you could just say Four Friends help their depressed classmate... instead as we will get that when we read.

    ReplyDelete