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Thursday, March 25, 2010

126 UF

TITLE: Black Eden
GENRE: Urban Fantasy


“I have a clear shot.” I crouched next to the wall and sighted down my arms, aiming my gun at the vampire’s chest.

10 comments:

  1. Weak hook. I'd keep reading a bit further to make a stronger decision, but no sense of the main character's personality or voice here. Shooting a vampire isn't enough of a hook for me.

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  2. Vampires get shot (or shot at) all the time. Why is this time more special than the thousands that went before? Answer that and I might keep reading.

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  3. I like that it starts with action. Hooked. I'd read more to see how the fight goes...

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  4. Not really hooked. If it were as simple as the remark implies, there would be nothing else to the story.

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  5. Sorry... I'm not hooked yet. This is the 25 word thing, but I felt this was too much to the point, when it could be building up the situation, describing the target before the protagonist raised his/her weapon.

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  6. Partially hooked. I haven't seen a vamp book open like this before.

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  7. Could be more hooked, but not not hooked.

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  8. Not hooked, sorry. Hunting vampires in UF? That's... pretty common, so I would have to see what makes this one DIFFERENT before I'd want to read on.

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  9. Not very hooked. I like a good vampire story, but I don't see anything very new yet (even though I know it's hard to do in 25 words!)

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