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Thursday, March 25, 2010

15 Women's Fiction

TITLE: False Impressions
GENRE: Women's Fiction


Faith Andrews slammed the phone down. Where was he and why wasn't he answering? The last candle sputtered out, officially killing her romantic evening.
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18 comments:

  1. angelareneMarch 25, 2010 at 9:25 AM

    Not my genre...but I'm hooked

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  2. SelestialMarch 25, 2010 at 9:33 AM

    Not my genre either, but I liked this. I'd probably read on a little bit.

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  3. Jodi MeadowsMarch 25, 2010 at 9:34 AM

    I'd read to see where it went.

    Faith is a popular name for this round.

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  4. Juli Page MorganMarch 25, 2010 at 9:46 AM

    Kinda hooked. I'd probably read on because of the last line.

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  5. fairchildMarch 25, 2010 at 9:50 AM

    I'd read on.

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  6. MomwomanMarch 25, 2010 at 10:08 AM

    i like it.

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  7. Cate KariaxiMarch 25, 2010 at 10:22 AM

    I kinda am hooked.

    Only nitpic (sorry, backseat writer) is the two questions. I'd settle with one (Why wasn't he answering?) and maybe work the other one in elsewhere.

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  8. Deb SmytheMarch 25, 2010 at 10:39 AM

    Mildly hooked. I'd read on.

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  9. LaurieMarch 25, 2010 at 11:07 AM

    Hooked!

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  10. Amy Sue NathanMarch 25, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    I think your third sentence is your hook. I'd rearrange for maximum effect.

    The last candle sputtered out, officially killing Faith's romantic evening. She slammed down the phone. Where was he and why wasn't he answering?

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  11. Jessica L. Brooks (coffeelvnmom)March 25, 2010 at 12:26 PM

    I agree with Amy Sue Nathan. The last sentence would be a great first sentence.

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  12. BarbaraMarch 25, 2010 at 12:26 PM

    Not hooked. She's expecting a romantic evening (I would assume it's with someone she cares about) and he doesn't show, and she's pissed off instead of worried. I immediately don't like her.

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  13. Melissa SarnoMarch 25, 2010 at 1:50 PM

    I also agree that the last line might make a better first line. I would continue reading.

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  14. SophiaMarch 25, 2010 at 2:05 PM

    Sorta hooked. My comments rehash what's already been said: last sentence as the hook, one question only (where was he?), and maybe she doesn't slam the phone down

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  15. Susan B-KMarch 25, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    I like it, but might even cut out the first sentence. It has potential, but you can do better.

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  16. MKMarch 25, 2010 at 3:44 PM

    I agree with the suggestion others have made about taking the last sentence and inserting it as the first. Also, I feel like her thoughts should be in present tense, not past (or maybe remove the italics so that change doesn't have to be made).

    Nonetheless, I was definitely hooked. (:

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  17. Carol Newman CroninMarch 25, 2010 at 4:10 PM

    Agree with sentence rearranging, but hooked either way.

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  18. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 10:21 PM

    Not really hooked, sorry. Could be a genre thing.

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