Go HERE to enter your lead-in and 250-word excerpt. Remember--TALKIN' HEADS focuses on passages that are DIALOGUE-RICH.
GUIDELINES:
*Submissions will be open from 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM this Thursday, October 31.
*Submit an up-to-30-word lead-in plus 250 words of dialogue-rich story. (Look for a passage that is *more than 50 percent dialogue.)
*Submit HERE.
*This will be a lottery; the bot will choose 20 entries at random after the submission window has closed.
*Entries will post on Monday, November 4 for public critique.
PLEASE NOTE: The lead-in is important because it will help us to understand what's going on in your scene. If you want the most helpful feedback possible, please don't neglect to include this!
Miss Snark's First Victim
Thursday, October 31, 2019
Monday, October 28, 2019
Call for Submissions: Talking Heads
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| Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay |
Hello, writer pack!
It's been a while since we've had some in-house critique. Let's have another round of Talking Heads, where we focus on dialogue.
Let's face it--dialogue can be tricky. It needs to sound natural while still moving the plot forward or revealing important things about our characters.
The best check for natural-sounding dialogue, in my opinion, is reading it out loud (I highly recommend this!). But another check is to let other eyeballs read the ramblings of our characters.
So here you go! The details:
*Submissions will be open from 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM this Thursday, October 31.
*Submit an up-to-30-word lead-in plus 250 words of dialogue-rich story. (Look for a passage that is *more than 50 percent dialogue.)
*Submit HERE.
*This will be a lottery; the bot will choose 20 entries at random after the submission window has closed.
*Entries will post on Monday, November 4 for public critique.
PLEASE NOTE: The lead-in is important because it will help us to understand what's going on in your scene. If you want the most helpful feedback possible, please don't neglect to include this!
Monday, October 21, 2019
Library-thon Winner
Congratulations to DAWN CREAL, who actually checked before the release date that STORMRISE was at the Fairfax County Library in Virginia. Thank you, Dawn! Dawn will receive a signed copy of STORMRISE.
Thank you to everyone who requested STORMRISE at your local libraries. (And it's not too late--your library requests are always greatly appreciated!)
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Hook the Editor: We Have a Winner!!
And the winner is...
#5 -- PERSEPHONE'S WALTZ
Congratulations! Please email me at facelesswords@gmail.com for submission instructions.
And a huge round of applause for all 5 entrants! It takes courage to throw your work out there, regardless of outcome. Every time we open ourselves to the helpful critique of others, we grow as writers.
Here's to growth! Thank you all for participating.
#5 -- PERSEPHONE'S WALTZ
Congratulations! Please email me at facelesswords@gmail.com for submission instructions.
And a huge round of applause for all 5 entrants! It takes courage to throw your work out there, regardless of outcome. Every time we open ourselves to the helpful critique of others, we grow as writers.
Here's to growth! Thank you all for participating.
Thursday, October 10, 2019
The STORMRISE Library-thon
Friends!
One of the most exciting things in recent weeks has been discovering copies of STORMRISE at libraries across the country (yes, I really do spend time researching things like this)--even as many as a dozen copies in a single library system! It's thrilling to know that my book will be in the hands of readers through their local libraries, and I'd like to continue to spread the love.
One of the most exciting things in recent weeks has been discovering copies of STORMRISE at libraries across the country (yes, I really do spend time researching things like this)--even as many as a dozen copies in a single library system! It's thrilling to know that my book will be in the hands of readers through their local libraries, and I'd like to continue to spread the love.
Wanna join me -- and have a chance to win a hardcover copy of STORMRISE in the process?
Welcome to the STORMRISE LIBRARY-THON! Here's how it works:
1. Request STORMRISE at your local library (usually this can be done online).*
2. Send a screenshot of your request to me at jillian@jillianboehme.com.
3. FOLLOW ME on Instagram.
That's it! The contest will run until 11:59 CDT on Friday, October 18, and I will announce the winner the following Monday.
*If your library already has a physical copy or audiobook of STORMRISE, you can still enter! Just send me a screenshot of the listing in your library's card catalog. Please note--physical copies or audiobooks only for libraries who already have STORMRISE.
Thanks for helping STORMRISE spread its wings and fly into your neighborhood!
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
COME SEE ME THIS WEEKEND!
Dear ones! If you're anywhere near Nashville or Knoxville, I'd love to see you.
I mean, this is one of the things I've dreamed of--putting faces to names and voices to words. I truly hope some of you can make one of these events.
1. THE SOUTHERN FESTIVAL OF BOOKS
I'll be on a panel with illustrator James Barry on Saturday, October 12, at 2:00 PM in the Nashville Public Library Teen Studio. My portion of the talk will include a reading from STORMRISE, and there will be Q&A afterward. A signing will take place at 3:00 at the Signing Colonnade.
2. LITUP-KNOXVILLE FESTIVAL
I'm especially excited about this festival because it's been organized by teens. Bring on the teen readers and writers! Here's my schedule:
1:15 PM -- Jillian Boehme Author Talk (including a reading from STORMRISE)
2:15 PM -- Fantasy Panel with 2 other authors
3:00 PM -- Signing
And there you have it! Please (please please) let me know if you're planning to be at one of these events, because I'd love to meet you. (Feel free to email or DM me if you'd rather not post your whereabouts publicly!)
I mean, this is one of the things I've dreamed of--putting faces to names and voices to words. I truly hope some of you can make one of these events.
1. THE SOUTHERN FESTIVAL OF BOOKS
I'll be on a panel with illustrator James Barry on Saturday, October 12, at 2:00 PM in the Nashville Public Library Teen Studio. My portion of the talk will include a reading from STORMRISE, and there will be Q&A afterward. A signing will take place at 3:00 at the Signing Colonnade.
2. LITUP-KNOXVILLE FESTIVAL
I'm especially excited about this festival because it's been organized by teens. Bring on the teen readers and writers! Here's my schedule:
1:15 PM -- Jillian Boehme Author Talk (including a reading from STORMRISE)
2:15 PM -- Fantasy Panel with 2 other authors
3:00 PM -- Signing
And there you have it! Please (please please) let me know if you're planning to be at one of these events, because I'd love to meet you. (Feel free to email or DM me if you'd rather not post your whereabouts publicly!)
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
HOOK THE EDITOR: Guidelines
Presenting: Our 5 finalists!
Elayne Becker will be reading and commenting on all 5 entries, and will choose her favorite to receive the 10-page critique (winner to be announced next week). In the meantime, you are all invited to offer critique!
Guidelines for Critique on MSFV:
Elayne Becker will be reading and commenting on all 5 entries, and will choose her favorite to receive the 10-page critique (winner to be announced next week). In the meantime, you are all invited to offer critique!
Guidelines for Critique on MSFV:
- Please leave your critique for each entry in the comment box for that entry.
- Please choose a screen name to sign your comments. The screen name DOES NOT have to be your real name; however, it needs to be an identifiable name. ("Anonymous" is not a name.)
- Critiques should be honest but kind, helpful but sensitive.
- Critiques that attack the writer or are couched in unkind words will be deleted.*
- Cheerleading IS NOT THE SAME as critiquing. Please don't cheerlead.
- Having said that, it is perfectly acceptable to say positive things about an entry that you feel is strong. To make these positive comments more helpful, say why it's a strong entry.
- ENTRANTS: As your way of "giving back", please critique at least 2 of the other entries.
*I can't possibly read every comment. If you ever see a comment that is truly snarky, please email me. I count on your help.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Hook the Editor #5: PERSEPHONE'S WALTZ (Fantasy)
Title: Persephone's Waltz
Genre: Adult Fantasy
Holy Maiden Ysabel has four months left to live. Then she stops the assassination of Dark Lord Kaine, a trans man leading a rebel army. In gratitude, he rescues her from becoming a human sacrifice—by kidnapping her. Hades X Persephone meets the humor of Terry Pratchett and the world-building of N.K. Jemisin.
I have four months, three weeks, and two days left to live. Yet here I sit, wasting a precious hour in a meeting with the Council of Cardinals. I need a smoke or a stiff drink. Not both; I learned from bitter experience on my knees in the outhouse that redleaf and alcohol do not mix.
While my eyelids droop, Cardinal Rakir finishes, “…As the maid said to the bishop.” All four cardinals laugh.
“What did you think, Holy Ysabel?” Rakir smirks.
I widen my eyes. “Oh, it was dreadfully entertaining, but I fear the Sun God has not blessed me with a wit equal to you gentlemen. Why did the bishop tie up the maid? Did she do something wrong?”
Rakir laughs even harder. I keep a vapid smile on my face. Just tied hands and a blindfold? At least take advantage of the increased reactiveness from sensory deprivation with a bit of hot wax and ice. Amateurs.
When I first dug up a dusty document proving that as a Holy Healer, I was entitled to join the council, the cardinals found the presence of a woman made it awkward for them to brag about their conquests during worktime. So I pretended to be too virginal to understand sexual innuendo if it mugged me in a dark alley. I’m still being excluded from the wheeling-and-dealing in their drinking sessions, but they don’t “forget” to tell me when to show up at the Cardinal’s Chamber to cast my vote.
Genre: Adult Fantasy
Holy Maiden Ysabel has four months left to live. Then she stops the assassination of Dark Lord Kaine, a trans man leading a rebel army. In gratitude, he rescues her from becoming a human sacrifice—by kidnapping her. Hades X Persephone meets the humor of Terry Pratchett and the world-building of N.K. Jemisin.
I have four months, three weeks, and two days left to live. Yet here I sit, wasting a precious hour in a meeting with the Council of Cardinals. I need a smoke or a stiff drink. Not both; I learned from bitter experience on my knees in the outhouse that redleaf and alcohol do not mix.
While my eyelids droop, Cardinal Rakir finishes, “…As the maid said to the bishop.” All four cardinals laugh.
“What did you think, Holy Ysabel?” Rakir smirks.
I widen my eyes. “Oh, it was dreadfully entertaining, but I fear the Sun God has not blessed me with a wit equal to you gentlemen. Why did the bishop tie up the maid? Did she do something wrong?”
Rakir laughs even harder. I keep a vapid smile on my face. Just tied hands and a blindfold? At least take advantage of the increased reactiveness from sensory deprivation with a bit of hot wax and ice. Amateurs.
When I first dug up a dusty document proving that as a Holy Healer, I was entitled to join the council, the cardinals found the presence of a woman made it awkward for them to brag about their conquests during worktime. So I pretended to be too virginal to understand sexual innuendo if it mugged me in a dark alley. I’m still being excluded from the wheeling-and-dealing in their drinking sessions, but they don’t “forget” to tell me when to show up at the Cardinal’s Chamber to cast my vote.
Hook the Editor #4: WISH I WAS HERE (YA SF Mystery)
TITLE: WISH I WAS HERE
GENRE: YA SF Mystery
When Ana’s best friend Isaac hands her an invisibility pill he made, she swallows it to avoid being kidnapped along with him. Fighting her guilt, she must rescue Isaac before he’s forced to create another pill for the highest evil bidder. If she doesn’t follow clues he left behind and find him for the antidote within a week, she’ll remain invisible forever. That could mean insanity or death.
Isaac’s street was a ghost town when I pulled up to his house after school. As I used his spare key to let myself in, the knot in my stomach tied double.
“Is that you, Ana?” he called from the basement as soon as I stepped inside.
Since I knew his parents wouldn’t be home for an hour, I said, “Who else would it be?”
“Did you lock the—?”
“I’m locking it now,” I said with an exasperated sigh. Paranoid much?
I tramped downstairs. “I can’t believe you ditched last period. That was so unli…” My foot hung for a moment halfway to the next step. A suitcase stood next to the fire extinguisher at the bottom of the stairs. A white t-shirt poked out between the case’s zippered teeth.
“You going somewhere?” Without me? “Spring break is next week. Couldn’t your parents have waited a couple more days?”
“My parents aren’t going,” he said as I reached the bottom step. Another suitcase, this one filled with worn spiral notebooks, lay open on a wooden table in the middle of the room. Isaac’s tools, gadgets, gears, and metal parts from clocks, maybe, or engines, or who knows what, were shoved off to the side instead of taking their usual place at center stage.
“I guess traveling on your own is technically legal now and all.” I waited for him to say something. He didn’t. For a flickering moment I thought the bullies at school were finally getting to him.
GENRE: YA SF Mystery
When Ana’s best friend Isaac hands her an invisibility pill he made, she swallows it to avoid being kidnapped along with him. Fighting her guilt, she must rescue Isaac before he’s forced to create another pill for the highest evil bidder. If she doesn’t follow clues he left behind and find him for the antidote within a week, she’ll remain invisible forever. That could mean insanity or death.
Isaac’s street was a ghost town when I pulled up to his house after school. As I used his spare key to let myself in, the knot in my stomach tied double.
“Is that you, Ana?” he called from the basement as soon as I stepped inside.
Since I knew his parents wouldn’t be home for an hour, I said, “Who else would it be?”
“Did you lock the—?”
“I’m locking it now,” I said with an exasperated sigh. Paranoid much?
I tramped downstairs. “I can’t believe you ditched last period. That was so unli…” My foot hung for a moment halfway to the next step. A suitcase stood next to the fire extinguisher at the bottom of the stairs. A white t-shirt poked out between the case’s zippered teeth.
“You going somewhere?” Without me? “Spring break is next week. Couldn’t your parents have waited a couple more days?”
“My parents aren’t going,” he said as I reached the bottom step. Another suitcase, this one filled with worn spiral notebooks, lay open on a wooden table in the middle of the room. Isaac’s tools, gadgets, gears, and metal parts from clocks, maybe, or engines, or who knows what, were shoved off to the side instead of taking their usual place at center stage.
“I guess traveling on your own is technically legal now and all.” I waited for him to say something. He didn’t. For a flickering moment I thought the bullies at school were finally getting to him.
Hook the Editor #3: HOVERBOARD SUPERHEROES (MG SF)
TITLE: Hoverboard Superheroes
GENRE: MG Science Fiction
Twelve year old Leonie Fox can make anything except friends. Her repair business doesn’t impress the other kids on her starship, but at least Leonie has her grandmother. Then Magda goes missing. Frighteningly alone, Leonie recruits allies—not friends—and starts hunting. But more people disappear, and social services are on Leonie’s tail. To save Magda and stop a deadly conspiracy, Leonie needs more than a trio of bickering boys at her side. She needs a family.
2092, aboard the starship Hydra
Leonie pressed her shoulders to the bulkhead, catching her breath as her eyes adjusted to the amber lights. She should be safe here. Any haters out for her blood would have a hard time finding her in the salvage bay, where towering shadows hid her navy coveralls and deep brown skin.
The oily tang of scrap metal filled her nose. She bypassed wire heaps and scaled a long ladder to a top shelf, where tracks for retrieval units ran like veins across the ceiling. Saturday afternoons were her salvage diving days, but avoiding the enemies she’d made this past year was putting a serious damper on her fun. Why, why couldn’t she leave other people’s bullies alone?
Leonie wrapped her hands around a ceiling joist and swung to perch atop some baskets, searching for parts for her refurbished equipment business. Far below, a salvage keeper’s lantern flashed across the scaffolding. Her heart skipped. Forcing a breath, she reminded herself the keepers wouldn’t stop her. She’d been allowed in here since she turned twelve last February, but years of sneaking into the salvage bays as a curious little kid had left their mark. When the keeper’s light swept to her level, Leonie gave the man a cheeky wave.
The lantern stalled. An older boy’s familiar voice raked her nerve endings. “You.”
That wasn’t a keeper.
Panicked, she leapfrogged across wire frame baskets full of obsolete consoles. The baskets wobbled on the aluminum-plate shelf, and she grabbed joists overhead to steady herself.
GENRE: MG Science Fiction
Twelve year old Leonie Fox can make anything except friends. Her repair business doesn’t impress the other kids on her starship, but at least Leonie has her grandmother. Then Magda goes missing. Frighteningly alone, Leonie recruits allies—not friends—and starts hunting. But more people disappear, and social services are on Leonie’s tail. To save Magda and stop a deadly conspiracy, Leonie needs more than a trio of bickering boys at her side. She needs a family.
2092, aboard the starship Hydra
Leonie pressed her shoulders to the bulkhead, catching her breath as her eyes adjusted to the amber lights. She should be safe here. Any haters out for her blood would have a hard time finding her in the salvage bay, where towering shadows hid her navy coveralls and deep brown skin.
The oily tang of scrap metal filled her nose. She bypassed wire heaps and scaled a long ladder to a top shelf, where tracks for retrieval units ran like veins across the ceiling. Saturday afternoons were her salvage diving days, but avoiding the enemies she’d made this past year was putting a serious damper on her fun. Why, why couldn’t she leave other people’s bullies alone?
Leonie wrapped her hands around a ceiling joist and swung to perch atop some baskets, searching for parts for her refurbished equipment business. Far below, a salvage keeper’s lantern flashed across the scaffolding. Her heart skipped. Forcing a breath, she reminded herself the keepers wouldn’t stop her. She’d been allowed in here since she turned twelve last February, but years of sneaking into the salvage bays as a curious little kid had left their mark. When the keeper’s light swept to her level, Leonie gave the man a cheeky wave.
The lantern stalled. An older boy’s familiar voice raked her nerve endings. “You.”
That wasn’t a keeper.
Panicked, she leapfrogged across wire frame baskets full of obsolete consoles. The baskets wobbled on the aluminum-plate shelf, and she grabbed joists overhead to steady herself.
Hook the Editor #2: ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD (YA SF)
TITLE: ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD
GENRE: YA SF
Seventeen-year-old Derek has two goals in life: play major league baseball and marry his best friend, Corinne. When a spacetime glitch pulls his future kids into the present, he learns he didn’t marry Corinne, but his shrewd STEM rival, Michelle. Now forced to partner with a girl he hates, Derek slowly grows attached to his imperfect family, prompting him to choose between the life he envisioned and the life he never saw coming.
April 2009
Astoria, Oregon
Derek grips the glossy neck of his Louisville Slugger, feeling out the warm evenness of the wood. Feet apart, knees bent, eyes straight ahead, he raises the bat over his shoulder.
He waits.
The pitching machine launches a baseball and Derek swings, the crack of impact thundering through the low-hanging clouds blanketing his coastal town. The ball is a meteor against the grey, destined to land in the Columbia River with a muted splash. Except the practice net catches it first, repelling the ball back to the ground.
Derek raises his bat again.
It’s seven a.m. A spring drizzle coats the backyard, changing dirt into mud, grass into flattened mush. Cold beads form on his skin, rolling down his arm, dripping off his elbow. His soaked T-shirt sticks to the swell of his chest. He’ll need to stop soon. He’s got class in an hour.
But Derek doesn’t care. Because when the seventeen-year-old holds a baseball bat, it feels like he’s holding all the time in the world.
He has his father to thank for that.
From a young age, Mr. Lyttle encouraged him to play. Derek recalls his earliest memory, practicing batting form with a rubber T-ball set.
Chest over your toes promotes a good swing angle, his father would say, adjusting the boy’s stance. Feet apart, knees bent, eyes straight ahead.
GENRE: YA SF
Seventeen-year-old Derek has two goals in life: play major league baseball and marry his best friend, Corinne. When a spacetime glitch pulls his future kids into the present, he learns he didn’t marry Corinne, but his shrewd STEM rival, Michelle. Now forced to partner with a girl he hates, Derek slowly grows attached to his imperfect family, prompting him to choose between the life he envisioned and the life he never saw coming.
April 2009
Astoria, Oregon
Derek grips the glossy neck of his Louisville Slugger, feeling out the warm evenness of the wood. Feet apart, knees bent, eyes straight ahead, he raises the bat over his shoulder.
He waits.
The pitching machine launches a baseball and Derek swings, the crack of impact thundering through the low-hanging clouds blanketing his coastal town. The ball is a meteor against the grey, destined to land in the Columbia River with a muted splash. Except the practice net catches it first, repelling the ball back to the ground.
Derek raises his bat again.
It’s seven a.m. A spring drizzle coats the backyard, changing dirt into mud, grass into flattened mush. Cold beads form on his skin, rolling down his arm, dripping off his elbow. His soaked T-shirt sticks to the swell of his chest. He’ll need to stop soon. He’s got class in an hour.
But Derek doesn’t care. Because when the seventeen-year-old holds a baseball bat, it feels like he’s holding all the time in the world.
He has his father to thank for that.
From a young age, Mr. Lyttle encouraged him to play. Derek recalls his earliest memory, practicing batting form with a rubber T-ball set.
Chest over your toes promotes a good swing angle, his father would say, adjusting the boy’s stance. Feet apart, knees bent, eyes straight ahead.
Hook the Editor #1: CASTERS (YA Fantasy)
TITLE: Casters
GENRE: YA Fantasy
OCD techie Lissette is used to having magic at her fingertips—there’s an app for that. Her dad made it, and she excels at crafting digital spells. But all magic has a price. When a virus infects that magic technology, she must stop it before it spreads and kills everyone she loves. RENEGADES X THIS MORTAL COIL
Dad had his filthy shoes propped on my spotless coffee table again. Every day, I found him lounging on the couch with his laptop sitting on his knees and his feet crossed, mud dripping from his soles onto the mahogany surface. And every day, I yelled at him for it. At this point, he was probably doing it to annoy me.
I stormed across our studio apartment, rounded the sectional couch, and kicked his legs off the table as an after-work greeting.
He fumbled his laptop, nearly dropping it, as he regained his balance with a scowl. “What the hell? I’m working on something really important.”
I eyed the dozen or so empty beer cans surrounding his seat like Christmas presents around a tree. Important my ass.
“Not as important as cleaning your mess. I’m not helping you this time.” Rolling my shoulders and letting my frustration out in a puff of breath, I glanced down at the laptop as he set it aside. A few different windows were open, one with lines of code, another with the software we’d created to develop casts, but one was an email from—
He threw the screen down—way to be subtle, Dad—but then placed it on the clean side of the coffee table like it was a delicate antique. “Working out the bugs of another cast.”
A cast, huh? I was no stranger to coding casts, or rather, digital ‘spells’, and he’d usually ask for help if that’s all it was.
GENRE: YA Fantasy
OCD techie Lissette is used to having magic at her fingertips—there’s an app for that. Her dad made it, and she excels at crafting digital spells. But all magic has a price. When a virus infects that magic technology, she must stop it before it spreads and kills everyone she loves. RENEGADES X THIS MORTAL COIL
Dad had his filthy shoes propped on my spotless coffee table again. Every day, I found him lounging on the couch with his laptop sitting on his knees and his feet crossed, mud dripping from his soles onto the mahogany surface. And every day, I yelled at him for it. At this point, he was probably doing it to annoy me.
I stormed across our studio apartment, rounded the sectional couch, and kicked his legs off the table as an after-work greeting.
He fumbled his laptop, nearly dropping it, as he regained his balance with a scowl. “What the hell? I’m working on something really important.”
I eyed the dozen or so empty beer cans surrounding his seat like Christmas presents around a tree. Important my ass.
“Not as important as cleaning your mess. I’m not helping you this time.” Rolling my shoulders and letting my frustration out in a puff of breath, I glanced down at the laptop as he set it aside. A few different windows were open, one with lines of code, another with the software we’d created to develop casts, but one was an email from—
He threw the screen down—way to be subtle, Dad—but then placed it on the clean side of the coffee table like it was a delicate antique. “Working out the bugs of another cast.”
A cast, huh? I was no stranger to coding casts, or rather, digital ‘spells’, and he’d usually ask for help if that’s all it was.
Sunday, October 6, 2019
WINNERS: HOOK THE EDITOR!
Here are our top 3:
# 3 -- CASTERS (15 YESES)
#16 -- ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD (11 YESES)
#10 -- WISH I WAS HERE (9 YESES)
Congratulations to our winners, and KUDOS to everyone who entered!
IMPORTANT: WINNERS, please email your original pitch and first 250 words to me at facelesswords@gmail.com ASAP. Posts will go live on Tuesday!
ETA:
What was I thinking?! I was supposed to choose the top FIVE. (Can you tell I've been out of town for a week?)
Here are the remaining 2 winners:
#18 -- HOVERBOARD SUPERHEROES (8 YESES)
# 5 -- PERSEPHONE'S WALTZ
# 3 -- CASTERS (15 YESES)
#16 -- ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD (11 YESES)
#10 -- WISH I WAS HERE (9 YESES)
Congratulations to our winners, and KUDOS to everyone who entered!
IMPORTANT: WINNERS, please email your original pitch and first 250 words to me at facelesswords@gmail.com ASAP. Posts will go live on Tuesday!
ETA:
What was I thinking?! I was supposed to choose the top FIVE. (Can you tell I've been out of town for a week?)
Here are the remaining 2 winners:
#18 -- HOVERBOARD SUPERHEROES (8 YESES)
# 5 -- PERSEPHONE'S WALTZ
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
Hook the Editor: Guidelines
And here we go! We've got 22 entries ready for your votes. Here's how it works:
1. Read the excerpt. Decide whether the pitch and the opening sentences hook you.
2. If they do, comment YES (all caps, please), followed by the reasons why.
3. If they don't, comment NO (all caps, please), followed by the reasons why.
4. Voting will close this Friday at midnight. The top 5 entries will move on to round 2.
Enjoy! We've got a whole smattering of different genres. Please remember to be kind even as you are being honest.
On your mark...get set...go!
1. Read the excerpt. Decide whether the pitch and the opening sentences hook you.
2. If they do, comment YES (all caps, please), followed by the reasons why.
3. If they don't, comment NO (all caps, please), followed by the reasons why.
4. Voting will close this Friday at midnight. The top 5 entries will move on to round 2.
Enjoy! We've got a whole smattering of different genres. Please remember to be kind even as you are being honest.
On your mark...get set...go!
Hook the Editor #22
TITLE: Pane and Silver
GENRE: YA Contemporary Fantasy
Seventeen-year-old piano prodigy Grace Armstrong doesn’t know which came first, her autism-fueled anxiety disorder, or the monsters she’s been hallucinating since kindergarten. When an adorkable guy from an alternate earth invades her bedroom mirror, Grace’s reckless experimentation with newfound magic—and long-lost romance—infects her best friend with fatal magic. Desperate to save her, Grace must escape a magical prison of mirrors, memories, and monsters by embracing an elusive truth—she’s worthy of saving too.
Mr. Lee’s wife put love notes in his piano again—pale-blue slips of paper wedged between every key. Stupid, lovesick newlyweds using the piano like a post office box.
GENRE: YA Contemporary Fantasy
Seventeen-year-old piano prodigy Grace Armstrong doesn’t know which came first, her autism-fueled anxiety disorder, or the monsters she’s been hallucinating since kindergarten. When an adorkable guy from an alternate earth invades her bedroom mirror, Grace’s reckless experimentation with newfound magic—and long-lost romance—infects her best friend with fatal magic. Desperate to save her, Grace must escape a magical prison of mirrors, memories, and monsters by embracing an elusive truth—she’s worthy of saving too.
Mr. Lee’s wife put love notes in his piano again—pale-blue slips of paper wedged between every key. Stupid, lovesick newlyweds using the piano like a post office box.
Hook the Editor #21
TITLE: Camila Folds
GENRE: Adult Speculative Fiction
Camila is a single mom who’s been punished by the universe for attending a nerd convention and finally managing to meet a nice guy. She picked the guy who happens to be a teleporting English teacher and a flight home destined to blow up in the desert. Now they must evade his dangerous family and break a lot of rules, including some of physics, to get her back to her son, or die trying.
Camila Maria Vera jumped out of an exploding plane with a man she barely knew. The alternative was death, but Abuela still would not have approved.
GENRE: Adult Speculative Fiction
Camila is a single mom who’s been punished by the universe for attending a nerd convention and finally managing to meet a nice guy. She picked the guy who happens to be a teleporting English teacher and a flight home destined to blow up in the desert. Now they must evade his dangerous family and break a lot of rules, including some of physics, to get her back to her son, or die trying.
Camila Maria Vera jumped out of an exploding plane with a man she barely knew. The alternative was death, but Abuela still would not have approved.
Hook the Editor #20
TITLE: A Girl of Ice and Embers
GENRE: YA Historical Fantasy
After accidentally merging with a fire goddess thought to be a demon, an Ice Age girl gains inhuman power but is forced to flee her clan. She finds a new home in another clan but struggles to embrace her power when an enemy clan and a god with powers of rot and decay threaten to enslave her newfound family.
Today was the kind of cold I felt down to my bones. The cave I stood in blocked the wind, but as I surveyed its painted walls, my breath still turned to mist in the air.
GENRE: YA Historical Fantasy
After accidentally merging with a fire goddess thought to be a demon, an Ice Age girl gains inhuman power but is forced to flee her clan. She finds a new home in another clan but struggles to embrace her power when an enemy clan and a god with powers of rot and decay threaten to enslave her newfound family.
Today was the kind of cold I felt down to my bones. The cave I stood in blocked the wind, but as I surveyed its painted walls, my breath still turned to mist in the air.
Hook the Editor #19
TITLE: THE WOODLANDS HEIR
GENRE: YA Fantasy
When Elwyn's out of control magic accidentally burns down her beloved magical woodlands, an irritatingly hot half-fae agrees to help her control her magic. She only has until the Winter Solstice to harness her power before the Queen of Death challenges her to a duel. The problem? She agreed to spy on the half-fae for a trickster faerie who is protecting her family while she is away.
The woods whispered their secrets to her.
Elwyn Dor loosed a breath as crickets, babbling creeks, and singing birds competed against the thousands of rustling leaves chattering overhead.
GENRE: YA Fantasy
When Elwyn's out of control magic accidentally burns down her beloved magical woodlands, an irritatingly hot half-fae agrees to help her control her magic. She only has until the Winter Solstice to harness her power before the Queen of Death challenges her to a duel. The problem? She agreed to spy on the half-fae for a trickster faerie who is protecting her family while she is away.
The woods whispered their secrets to her.
Elwyn Dor loosed a breath as crickets, babbling creeks, and singing birds competed against the thousands of rustling leaves chattering overhead.
Hook the Editor #18
TITLE: Hoverboard Superheroes
GENRE: MG Science Fiction
Twelve year old Leonie Fox can make anything except friends. Her repair business doesn’t impress the other kids on her starship, but at least Leonie has her grandmother. Then Magda goes missing. Frighteningly alone, Leonie recruits allies—not friends—and starts hunting. But more people disappear, and social services are on Leonie’s tail. To save Magda and stop a deadly conspiracy, Leonie needs more than a trio of bickering boys at her side. She needs a family.
Leonie pressed her shoulders to the bulkhead, catching her breath as her eyes adjusted to the amber lights. They'd have trouble finding her in the salvage bay, where shadows hid her coveralls and deep brown skin.
GENRE: MG Science Fiction
Twelve year old Leonie Fox can make anything except friends. Her repair business doesn’t impress the other kids on her starship, but at least Leonie has her grandmother. Then Magda goes missing. Frighteningly alone, Leonie recruits allies—not friends—and starts hunting. But more people disappear, and social services are on Leonie’s tail. To save Magda and stop a deadly conspiracy, Leonie needs more than a trio of bickering boys at her side. She needs a family.
Leonie pressed her shoulders to the bulkhead, catching her breath as her eyes adjusted to the amber lights. They'd have trouble finding her in the salvage bay, where shadows hid her coveralls and deep brown skin.
Hook the Editor #17
TITLE: Mourn Their Courage
GENRE: Adult Fantasy
In a land where necromancers are reviled and the dead feared, spirits talk to Liu Jie. Then the Emperor summons Jie to civil war. If he's not killed in battle, his men may kill him. Yet every ghost the usurping Chancellor creates wants to fight the demon-possessed Chancellor. If Jie exorcises the demon, his people will kill him. If he doesn't, he and everyone he's fought to protect will be damned.
Inside the Peach Orchard Inn, Lord Liu Jie expected to be murdered. He appreciated that he had a choice in how it might happen.
GENRE: Adult Fantasy
In a land where necromancers are reviled and the dead feared, spirits talk to Liu Jie. Then the Emperor summons Jie to civil war. If he's not killed in battle, his men may kill him. Yet every ghost the usurping Chancellor creates wants to fight the demon-possessed Chancellor. If Jie exorcises the demon, his people will kill him. If he doesn't, he and everyone he's fought to protect will be damned.
Inside the Peach Orchard Inn, Lord Liu Jie expected to be murdered. He appreciated that he had a choice in how it might happen.
Hook the Editor #16
TITLE: All the Time in the World
GENRE: YA Science Fiction
Seventeen-year-old Derek has two goals in life: play major league baseball and marry his best friend, Corinne. When a spacetime glitch pulls his future kids into the present, he learns he didn’t marry Corinne, but his shrewd STEM rival, Michelle. Now forced to partner with a girl he hates, Derek slowly grows attached to his imperfect family, prompting him to choose between the life he envisioned and the life he never saw coming.
Derek grips the neck of his Louisville Slugger, fingers wiggling against the gloss, feeling out the warm evenness of the wood. Feet apart, knees bent, eyes straight ahead, he raises the bat over his shoulder.
GENRE: YA Science Fiction
Seventeen-year-old Derek has two goals in life: play major league baseball and marry his best friend, Corinne. When a spacetime glitch pulls his future kids into the present, he learns he didn’t marry Corinne, but his shrewd STEM rival, Michelle. Now forced to partner with a girl he hates, Derek slowly grows attached to his imperfect family, prompting him to choose between the life he envisioned and the life he never saw coming.
Derek grips the neck of his Louisville Slugger, fingers wiggling against the gloss, feeling out the warm evenness of the wood. Feet apart, knees bent, eyes straight ahead, he raises the bat over his shoulder.
Hook the Editor #15
TITLE: TARNISHED RELICS
GENRE: Adult Fantasy
When Attoria's parents mysteriously fall ill she sets out on a journey for a cure. During her travels she uncovers an age old prophecy about a unique soul that will decide the fate of Halgrond. As her name declares, She Who Brings Victory, Attoria knows she will be the one to fulfill the prophecy. But the path of good and evil is not always clearly marked and every victory has a cost.
"Time has done you no favors, witchwoman Gizem," Attoria said.
They were the only two on the road.
GENRE: Adult Fantasy
When Attoria's parents mysteriously fall ill she sets out on a journey for a cure. During her travels she uncovers an age old prophecy about a unique soul that will decide the fate of Halgrond. As her name declares, She Who Brings Victory, Attoria knows she will be the one to fulfill the prophecy. But the path of good and evil is not always clearly marked and every victory has a cost.
"Time has done you no favors, witchwoman Gizem," Attoria said.
They were the only two on the road.
Hook the Editor #14
TITLE: Windcaller
GENRE: Adult Fantasy
naShola is a noble entangled by scandals and clashing loyalties, who stumbles across a power that could upend the tyranny of the Plateau. Tlanis is a lowly plains-dweller whose parents dreamed of creating a better world for him — until they were hanged for it. He loathes nobles, naShola most of all. But he finds unexpected hope when a mysterious veiled woman comes to the plains at night, wielding the forbidden craft of the windcallers.
There was rain once, centuries ago, in the plains south of the Mawtooth mountains. Now there was only dust and rock in every shade of sun-baked brown and rusted red.
GENRE: Adult Fantasy
naShola is a noble entangled by scandals and clashing loyalties, who stumbles across a power that could upend the tyranny of the Plateau. Tlanis is a lowly plains-dweller whose parents dreamed of creating a better world for him — until they were hanged for it. He loathes nobles, naShola most of all. But he finds unexpected hope when a mysterious veiled woman comes to the plains at night, wielding the forbidden craft of the windcallers.
There was rain once, centuries ago, in the plains south of the Mawtooth mountains. Now there was only dust and rock in every shade of sun-baked brown and rusted red.
Hook the Editor #13
TITLE: The Blue Jay
GENRE: MG Fantasy
When Liz accidentally traps herself and her siblings in her own imaginary world and her sister gets kidnapped by the bad guys she made up, Liz must team up with her annoying teenage brother, Kyle, on a quest to save her sister and find a way home before it’s too late.
The bus lumbered forward like an enormous beetle, its bright yellow sides warning of poison and danger. I smelled its fumes as the engine heaved and sent it hurtling toward the sidewalk where I stood, waiting to climb into its maw.
GENRE: MG Fantasy
When Liz accidentally traps herself and her siblings in her own imaginary world and her sister gets kidnapped by the bad guys she made up, Liz must team up with her annoying teenage brother, Kyle, on a quest to save her sister and find a way home before it’s too late.
The bus lumbered forward like an enormous beetle, its bright yellow sides warning of poison and danger. I smelled its fumes as the engine heaved and sent it hurtling toward the sidewalk where I stood, waiting to climb into its maw.
Hook the Editor #12
TITLE: The City Beautiful
GENRE: YA Gothic Horror
1893, Chicago World’s Fair. Possessed by the dybbuk of a murder victim, 17-year-old Alter must find whoever’s targeting Jewish immigrants before the vengeful spirit takes his body over for good—that is, if the killer doesn’t take his life first.
#Ownvoices LGBT Gothic horror where SAWKILL GIRLS meets THE GOLEM AND THE JINNI.
Anguished sobs echoed down the winding stairwell, bouncing off the walls like the cries of strange birds. Here on Maxwell Street, weeping was as common an occurrence as shouting, wailing babies, and laughter.
GENRE: YA Gothic Horror
1893, Chicago World’s Fair. Possessed by the dybbuk of a murder victim, 17-year-old Alter must find whoever’s targeting Jewish immigrants before the vengeful spirit takes his body over for good—that is, if the killer doesn’t take his life first.
#Ownvoices LGBT Gothic horror where SAWKILL GIRLS meets THE GOLEM AND THE JINNI.
Anguished sobs echoed down the winding stairwell, bouncing off the walls like the cries of strange birds. Here on Maxwell Street, weeping was as common an occurrence as shouting, wailing babies, and laughter.
Hook the Editor #11
TITLE: Boy On The Corner
GENRE: YA #Ownvoices Horror
1986. When asthmatic Levi and other kids are abducted from a haunted house by the townspeople, he learns every ten years, ten children are picked to be sacrificed to a railroad-dwelling monster as penance for a hate crime committed ninety years ago. Now on the run, Levi must use his Stephen King expertise to fight back with kids from the wrong side of the tracks before the monster collects them as payment.
There was only one thing to do in Roan Oak other than cow tipping—visiting the Rosewood Mall.
I arrived a few minutes early that day, lingering outside of what could’ve been my second home: the arcade.
GENRE: YA #Ownvoices Horror
1986. When asthmatic Levi and other kids are abducted from a haunted house by the townspeople, he learns every ten years, ten children are picked to be sacrificed to a railroad-dwelling monster as penance for a hate crime committed ninety years ago. Now on the run, Levi must use his Stephen King expertise to fight back with kids from the wrong side of the tracks before the monster collects them as payment.
There was only one thing to do in Roan Oak other than cow tipping—visiting the Rosewood Mall.
I arrived a few minutes early that day, lingering outside of what could’ve been my second home: the arcade.
Hook the Editor #10
TITLE: Wish I Was Here
GENRE: YA light sci-fi mystery
When Ana’s best friend Isaac hands her an invisibility pill he made, she swallows it to avoid being kidnapped along with him. Fighting her guilt, she must rescue Isaac before he’s forced to create another pill for the highest evil bidder. If she doesn’t follow clues he left behind and find him for the antidote within a week, she’ll remain invisible forever. That could mean insanity or death.
Isaac’s street was a ghost town when I pulled up to his house after school. I used his spare key to let myself in, and the knot in my stomach tied double.
Hook the Editor #9
TITLE: Sugar Bea
GENRE: YA Contemporary
For seventeen-year-old Bea, the scale has finally tipped in her favor to become head chef at The Art Haus, a Macon hotspot. But a new flame, seasoned sous chefs, and diabetes all threaten to outweigh her ambition.
This is the sweetest day of my life, but I can’t share it with Momma. She wouldn’t understand, so my secret love affair has to continue a bit longer.
GENRE: YA Contemporary
For seventeen-year-old Bea, the scale has finally tipped in her favor to become head chef at The Art Haus, a Macon hotspot. But a new flame, seasoned sous chefs, and diabetes all threaten to outweigh her ambition.
This is the sweetest day of my life, but I can’t share it with Momma. She wouldn’t understand, so my secret love affair has to continue a bit longer.
Hook the Editor #8
TITLE: Book of Blood
GENRE: Adult Dark Fantasy
Breaking Bad with magic
In a dying world, secretly supported by blood magic, an ambitious princess marries a prince who forces her into debt. Conflicting forces are battling over power in the city and she is caught in the cross-fires, her household slaughtered. Will she be able to take back control over her life through the discovery of blood magic?
"There had been much debate over who was going to do the killing. In the end Ikuta volunteered."
GENRE: Adult Dark Fantasy
Breaking Bad with magic
In a dying world, secretly supported by blood magic, an ambitious princess marries a prince who forces her into debt. Conflicting forces are battling over power in the city and she is caught in the cross-fires, her household slaughtered. Will she be able to take back control over her life through the discovery of blood magic?
"There had been much debate over who was going to do the killing. In the end Ikuta volunteered."
Hook the Editor #7
TITLE: Donny Quinn and the Quest for Computer Parts
GENRE: MG Contemporary Humor
Donny says he's a great wizard who can save the world, but only if he can finish his portal. His friend, Sandra, thinks he's just a 12-year-old boy building a computer to play a game, and she's pretty sure the world will survive either way. MG reimagining of DON QUIXOTE, complete w/ windmill.
Exile. I wander down the solid stone path the natives call a sidewalk.
GENRE: MG Contemporary Humor
Donny says he's a great wizard who can save the world, but only if he can finish his portal. His friend, Sandra, thinks he's just a 12-year-old boy building a computer to play a game, and she's pretty sure the world will survive either way. MG reimagining of DON QUIXOTE, complete w/ windmill.
Exile. I wander down the solid stone path the natives call a sidewalk.
Hook the Editor #6
TITLE: UNREALITY
GENRE: YA Speculative Thriller
STRANGER THINGS x US 17yo Addy has had PTSD since armed men killed her dad three years ago. When she comes home one day and he’s there—alive—Addy hides her traumatic memories and becomes an imposter in what seems to be a better version of reality. But now her mirror-reflection has come to life—with plans of her own—and if Addy doesn’t uncover the truth about her town’s secret experiments, she could lose Dad in both lives.
The fear was back.
It pulsed like fever behind the overworked eyes of the students shuffling by in a study-induced stupor.
GENRE: YA Speculative Thriller
STRANGER THINGS x US 17yo Addy has had PTSD since armed men killed her dad three years ago. When she comes home one day and he’s there—alive—Addy hides her traumatic memories and becomes an imposter in what seems to be a better version of reality. But now her mirror-reflection has come to life—with plans of her own—and if Addy doesn’t uncover the truth about her town’s secret experiments, she could lose Dad in both lives.
The fear was back.
It pulsed like fever behind the overworked eyes of the students shuffling by in a study-induced stupor.
Hook the Editor #5
TITLE: Persephone's Waltz
GENRE: Adult Fantasy
Holy Maiden Ysabel has four months left to live. Then she stops the assassination of Dark Lord Kaine, a trans man leading a rebel army. In gratitude, he rescues her from becoming a human sacrifice—by kidnapping her. Hades X Persephone meets the humor of Terry Pratchett and the world-building of N.K. Jemisin.
I have four months, three weeks, and two days left to live. Yet here I sit, wasting a precious hour attending the Council of Cardinals.
GENRE: Adult Fantasy
Holy Maiden Ysabel has four months left to live. Then she stops the assassination of Dark Lord Kaine, a trans man leading a rebel army. In gratitude, he rescues her from becoming a human sacrifice—by kidnapping her. Hades X Persephone meets the humor of Terry Pratchett and the world-building of N.K. Jemisin.
I have four months, three weeks, and two days left to live. Yet here I sit, wasting a precious hour attending the Council of Cardinals.
Hook the Editor #4
TITLE: Skyline
GENRE: YA Contemporary
After they drifted apart and decided to move on from the past, four teenagers reunite to help their depressed classmate, and ex-friend, Josh. When grudges, crushes, and complicated feelings for Josh get in the way of success, they have to confront their own struggles and come to grips with their shared past--before Josh ends everything for good. SKYLINE is a 100K word novel with multiple perspectives.
It was the greatest torture method ever devised by humanity, a practice so cruel and vicious it would break even the strongest hearts, an invention which put the circles of hell to shame.
Ballroom dancing lessons.
GENRE: YA Contemporary
After they drifted apart and decided to move on from the past, four teenagers reunite to help their depressed classmate, and ex-friend, Josh. When grudges, crushes, and complicated feelings for Josh get in the way of success, they have to confront their own struggles and come to grips with their shared past--before Josh ends everything for good. SKYLINE is a 100K word novel with multiple perspectives.
It was the greatest torture method ever devised by humanity, a practice so cruel and vicious it would break even the strongest hearts, an invention which put the circles of hell to shame.
Ballroom dancing lessons.
Hook the Editor #3
TITLE: Casters
GENRE: YA Fantasy
OCD techie Lissette is used to having magic at her fingertips—there’s an app for that. Her dad made it, and she excels at crafting digital spells. But all magic has a price. When a virus infects that magic technology, she must stop it before it spreads and kills everyone she loves. RENEGADES X THIS MORTAL COIL
Dad had his filthy shoes propped on my spotless coffee table again. Every day, I found him lounging on the couch with his laptop sitting on his knees and his feet crossed, mud dripping from his soles onto the mahogany surface.
GENRE: YA Fantasy
OCD techie Lissette is used to having magic at her fingertips—there’s an app for that. Her dad made it, and she excels at crafting digital spells. But all magic has a price. When a virus infects that magic technology, she must stop it before it spreads and kills everyone she loves. RENEGADES X THIS MORTAL COIL
Dad had his filthy shoes propped on my spotless coffee table again. Every day, I found him lounging on the couch with his laptop sitting on his knees and his feet crossed, mud dripping from his soles onto the mahogany surface.
Hook the Editor #2
TITLE: Only Ever Friends
GENRE: Adult Romance
When Amie gets dumped just weeks before her wedding, she does what any rational, 22-year-old law student would do: pawns the ring and eats her weight in Ben and Jerry's. Returning to her childhood home to put the shards of her life back together, the last thing she wants is another relationship… especially with her former best friend, Jason.
Whoever said that money can't buy love was never given a diamond ring from Tiffany's.
Not that I needed it—I'd have been happy with a fifty-cent vending machine knock-off if Derek gave it to me on one knee and asked me to marry him.
GENRE: Adult Romance
When Amie gets dumped just weeks before her wedding, she does what any rational, 22-year-old law student would do: pawns the ring and eats her weight in Ben and Jerry's. Returning to her childhood home to put the shards of her life back together, the last thing she wants is another relationship… especially with her former best friend, Jason.
Whoever said that money can't buy love was never given a diamond ring from Tiffany's.
Not that I needed it—I'd have been happy with a fifty-cent vending machine knock-off if Derek gave it to me on one knee and asked me to marry him.
Hook the Editor #1
TITLE: CARVED
GENRE: Adult Science fiction
Crim the Carved steps into the Spector ready for a fight to the death, but when an attack goes horribly awry, she ends up in a battle to save everyone’s lives. She teams up with a mortal enemy who was happier trying to kill her, and the two must free all the trapped spectators. If they don’t, a death in the Spector would have been merciful compared to one designed by the Carver.
Crim saw things no one else could, but each line of sight cost her a world of pain. Sticky trails burned down her cheeks as she pressed her face closer to the panoramic panes of the top floor bedroom.
GENRE: Adult Science fiction
Crim the Carved steps into the Spector ready for a fight to the death, but when an attack goes horribly awry, she ends up in a battle to save everyone’s lives. She teams up with a mortal enemy who was happier trying to kill her, and the two must free all the trapped spectators. If they don’t, a death in the Spector would have been merciful compared to one designed by the Carver.
Crim saw things no one else could, but each line of sight cost her a world of pain. Sticky trails burned down her cheeks as she pressed her face closer to the panoramic panes of the top floor bedroom.