Title: Frostwork
Genre: Paranormal Romance
"Should we establish rules?" Kandi propped his head on his elbow.
"Like what?"
"Where am I allowed to touch?"
A grin spread across her face. "Nowhere fun."
"Damn." He cast her chest a disappointed glance. "You start feeling lightheaded or unsure, stop me. All right?"
"I think I'll be fine, but I promise."
"Good." Kandi reached across her, his brown irises focused on her face, and wrapped his hand around her wrist. His weight settled against her side, a warm pressure along the line of her torso. "You mind if I handle this a little different than I do it with Fain?"
"That depends on what you mean."
"I don't use lips on Fain until after I bite him, just for--uh, drawing out blood. Makes him uncomfortable if it looks like I'm coming onto him."
Lorin grinned, and it turned into laughter. "Understandable."
"The bite won't hurt at all if I use lips first. Kind of like sucking, right? I told Fain that, but he still said no."
"Is it going to leave a bruise?"
"Might make a small one. Can I?"
The appeal of no pain won over the thought of letting Kandi suck on her neck. "I suppose."
"Appreciated." His thumb rubbed small circles on the pulse points in her wrist.
She liked his smile, how it lifted in one corner and dimpled his cheek. She wondered if he did it to hide his teeth.
Ah, I remember this story from Are You Hooked.
ReplyDeleteI think you did a good job projecting Kandi in this piece. Sort of mysterious and easy-going.
Kandi = SC
ReplyDeleteHe is developed well enough for me to believe him to be a main character, if it weren't subtle hints through which indicated Lorin's your MC, and then the last paragraph was a giveaway.
Nice work.
Not my kind of story, but I get a clear view of Kandi. Well written piece.
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ReplyDeleteI think Kandi is well done - I have a sense of who he is and what he wants/needs.
ReplyDeleteI definitely like this. The characters are both clearly drawn, though I think Lorin's POV could be brought out a bit stronger here.
ReplyDeleteKandi makes me like him right away. He stands out and feels real to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing Kandi is the SC. Hmmm, this is a romance so I'm guessing love-interest. He definitely communicates.
ReplyDeleteKandi comes across as a well rounded and somewhat mysterious SC.
ReplyDeleteI would read more.
ReplyDeleteSucking before he bites...gotta love vampires!
:) Terri
I've never understood the whole fascination-with-vampires thing, but Kandi seems delightful here. How did he escape the stereotypical evil vampire curse? He seems strong but at the same time a little unsure of himself, and I loved the description of his smile.
ReplyDeleteKandi is the SC, and I so want to read more. I wish his name wasn't a girl's name though...but I can get over that. This was great. He seems like a "nice" vampire. :)
ReplyDeleteI think Kandi is your SC? I get a good feel of her...very mysterious, but easy-going. almost nonchalant (sp).
ReplyDeleteKandi is the SC? Kandi is a male character?
ReplyDeleteI'm confused by the name choices - I know a man named Lorin and plenty of women named Kandi.
Ok - Kandi is SC. He's powerful, he's sexy, he's controlled. Nice work in such a small section. This is the kind of development I like to see in a short story. It's concise, it develops both characters quickly and deeply and shows us their relationship. Good work.
Kizmet
Kandi is well developed. I knew a lot about him right away. The name throws me though. It seems more suited to a girl. I'm not much for vampire stories, but this one seems like I might enjoy it.
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