Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Please Don't Call Me Miss Snark

I have an annoying tendency to forget that my readership isn't static--that there are constantly new readers, new contest-enterers, new comments, new Twitter followers.

Inevitably, the newer folks will sometimes refer to me as "Miss Snark."  It's not a big deal--I'll answer to (almost) anything.  But I do want to point out that I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, Miss Snark.

If you're too new around the writersphere to know about the illustrious Miss Snark, PLEASE LOOK HERE NOW.  Her blog has long since been retired, but it remains an excellent source of information for the serious aspiring author.

If you start reading, it'll suck you in and get your juices flowing.  You've been duly warned.

At any rate, my blog is called MISS SNARK'S FIRST VICTIM because I was, in fact, HER FIRST VICTIM.  If you haven't read my victim story, take a moment now.

Here's the thing--Miss Snark left a huge imprint before she de-blogged herself.  (Actually, she's still at large; she's a real, honest-to-goodness literary agent.  Most of her fans are fairly sure they know who she is, but there's a code of silence.)  I would never deign to imagine that my influence or prowess is anywhere near hers.  So I get a little twitchy when folks call me "Miss Snark".

For the eternal record:  I am not, nor have I ever been, Miss Snark.  I do not aspire to imitate, impersonate, or irritate her in any way.

Please call me Authoress.

That is who I've been since I started this blog.  That is who I will continue to be until I--gasp--unveil myself.  Which will, in a perfect universe, occur when I debut.

(I said WHEN, not IF.  If I'm here to keep you inspired and encouraged, then I've got to talk the same talk about myself, right?)

Know what makes me happy?  The fact that, when I google "Authoress", I see this:

Look at that!  I'm second in line, right after Merriam-Webster.  I may not see my REAL NAME floating around out there, but dad-gummit, it's pretty heady to hold the #2 spot on Google for Authoress.

At any rate, A WARM WELCOME to everyone who is new!  If you've called me Miss Snark at any point, please don't apologize!  Like I said, it's no big deal.  It's just that I could never fill Miss Snark's stilettos, and I'd rather not be confused with her.

Do we have an accord?*

*You have to say this in a Jack Sparrow voice.  Always.  


  1. You will ever be the Authoress! Your Google listing is well deserved!

  2. Origin Story. Thanks for the history! I didn't know any of this.

  3. "I said WHEN, not IF." Indeed, that is the way to think. I do that, too. Positivity, FTW!