Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Public Brainstorm #1

TITLE: Disappeared
GENRE: Suspense

BLURB: Two American women are vacationing in Morocco. Fay disappears. Julie figures out where Fay went and goes after her. After multiple adventures, Julie is reunited with Fay—in jail. Fay's plan to rescue two Moroccan women who'd been 'disappeared' has failed.

The four women poison their their captors, escape, steal a truck, beg for money, have a medical emergency, narrowly avoid recapture, reach the airport just in time for the Moroccan women (who've received false passports) to get away . . . phew.

The conclusion is too tame compared to Fay and Julie's earlier hardships:

They've arranged decoy airline reservations near where they were last spotted. Their end-of-vacation flight home will leave in a few hours from this airport, so they cautiously check in. When they see a soldier near the gate (normal security? to arrest them?) they try unsuccessfully to get on a different flight. Then they make a smoky fire in the ladies room. Pandemonium. When the soldier leaves the gate to take charge, Julie and Fay board the plane. Fade to black.

Too easy?

How can they get home with the same personal resourcefulness they've exhibited throughout (no cop-out embassy call)?

11 comments:

  1. Could the ladies duck into a "broom closet" so to speak instead of the ladies room? Perhaps the light isn't working and they don uniforms only to discover that the uni's are pilot uniforms? They are escorted to the plane as the pilots and the closest thing to flying has been simulator training?

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  2. I'm going to assume these ladies aren't ex-CIA, so maybe a smoky bathroom is the right way to go. However, I'm thinking the airport would be cleared in that case.

    How about: before they check in for the flight they see the military/cops so they head to a bar and befriend some people who happen to have a private jet and they get out that way.

    Or: they see the security and head for the stores. They buy hair dye/wigs and dark glasses. At the last minute they bully their way through security and on to the flight by acting like entitled divas.

    Or: there's divine intervention as a reward for all the good they've done. Someone at the gate has a medical emergency and they use that as a diversion to get on the flight.

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  3. In this climate of airport security it seems like they would have to take (or stow away on) a private jet.

    It doesn't seem too easy the way you have it. Your description almost sounds like a Thelma and Louise high-jinx sort of story. Could they disguise as flight attendants?

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  4. I'm with Partly Writing. . . The plane bothers me logically, but your plot does too. (Sorry.) You might have to go overland. Read Follet's 1983's On Wings of Eagles. Not my fav Follett. Always thought it was a Ross Perot propaganda thing since it's his company being extradited out of Tehren and he ran for president later. Ending lets you down since the ones who didn't go overland made it home via State Depatment jet at same time, but it will give you some ideas. Good luck!

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  5. Wheel-well? Once or twice a year, especially on short-haul flights -- Morocco to Marsailles, maybe?

    Alternately, private plane, as has been suggested. Airport disruptions involving fires lead to airport evacuations and even small 3rd-world international airports have to meet basic international security regulations in order to have their departing flights land in other countries. These regulations involve passport checks before boarding planes.

    Another option: Make the big climactic escape happen earlier and black-box the trip home. Le Carre never mentions how Jason Bourne escapes the countries where he's killed dozens of people and readers are always willing to accept the epilogue where Bourne is sitting on a balcony, contemplating the beautiful scene in front of him while comparing it with the ugliness he's seen.

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  6. Some great ideas - thank you all! I'm loving the flight attendant one. The private jet has possibilities, too. Can't believe I didn't think of that.

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  7. You ave great ideas already and I think the private jet would be a lot of fun. All the best.

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  8. Maybe you have enough, and they actually make it onto the plane. As in Argo. All the harrowing stuff that happens sounds like a super story. Good luck!

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  9. You didn't say when this occurs, but it could be that the fire in the restroom was suspicious enough that all flights are delayed. Or it could be really intense if they actually have a conversation with the soldier who is guarding the gate, and he's suspicious but they manage to fool him. I don't know. :)

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  10. You don't necessarily have a plot issue here: this sounds more like a tone/voice issue. When they're lighting the fire, make them desperate. Make them not sure it will work. They're thinking about jail and what could happen if they're caught. They're terrified until they tumble onto that plane at last. When it takes off (because you shouldn't fade out immediately), they sit back and say, phew, we made it, I didn't think we would, etc etc.

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  11. You don't necessarily have a plot issue here: this sounds more like a tone/voice issue. When they're lighting the fire, make them desperate. Make them not sure it will work. They're thinking about jail and what could happen if they're caught. They're terrified until they tumble onto that plane at last. When it takes off (because you shouldn't fade out immediately), they sit back and say, phew, we made it, I didn't think we would, etc etc.

    ReplyDelete