GENRE: Young Adult Contemporary
I realized my life was a mess the day I received my first college mailer. It came from Lowell’s Career Tech Academy in Aberdeen, Washington. I flipped through the brochure and noticed a coupon on the back that said if I acted now, I would receive 20% off my tuition. In tiny fine print, there was the disclaimer that “the college’s accreditation is under review.”
I was about to recycle the brochure when I noticed the mailing label had my reversed my name. Instead of Lawrence Collins, it read Collin Lawrence. The college had sent this to the wrong person. I wasn’t even good enough for a two-year technical school that allowed its students to double major in Dental Hygenistry and Cable Installation.
This letter was the equivalent of a polar ice cap melting. OK, maybe equating my college admissions chances with the demise of our planet is a bit exaggerated, but I did get the distinct feeling that, just like many of our coastal communities, I would be underwater unless I drastically changed my lifestyle. So starting this school year, I gave up pot and alcohol and devoted myself to cleaner living.
My friends don’t understand what’s happened to me and keep asking if my feet hurt in those goody two shoes. They’re a riot, those guys. They miss the old Lawrence Collins – the one who got high before 5th period Biology and lit his hair on fire with a bunsen burner.