TITLE: Charming Tycho
What’s worse? Dying or going crazy?
If you had asked me a year ago, I would’ve said death, right away. All
my life I’ve always been scared to death about dying. Bad pun, I know,
but it’s true!
As a kid I often had a hard time getting to sleep because I was so
worried that I would never wake up again. Every spider looked like a
poisonous, death-giving spider, every thunderstorm had a bolt of
lightning with my name on it. Unfortunately, my parents weren’t very
helpful. They were the type of people who thought lying to children
would damage them. So, besides telling me that Santa didn’t exist, my
mother had always been rather blunt about the fact she thought death
was the end of everything. Everything.
Okay, I know it sounds like I was a weird but, really, most of
the time I was happy. It’s just that certain things would set me off:
seeing a dead animal on the side of the road or hearing about a plane
full of people crashing into the ocean. In any case, it made me
appreciative from a very young age that this life was it. You had only
one chance to make what you could of it, because you weren’t going to
get a second try. I was determined to make my life as interesting as
That’s how I ended up Sandford Academy. It was supposed to be this
huge opportunity: a first-class ticket to becoming president or curing
cancer. Not that I really wanted to do those things. I had another
goal in mind.