TITLE: To Gnome Me Is To Love Me
GENRE: Middle grade
It was one of those days. Know what I mean? You step outside and your body beads with sweat from the top of your head to your shinbones in two point five nanoseconds. And if it was really toasty, a sweat droplet would slide down your spine to puddle right at your underwear, soaking through your shorts.
Mom insisted that only horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies dew. I got a news flash for her, I just might be a horse ‘cause I sweat. There was no dewing involved.
It was in the middle of the afternoon. In July. In Oklahoma. ‘Nuff said.
So, of course, Mom sent me outside for some ‘fresh air and sunshine’.
What she really was doing was sending me outside for a case of heatstroke.
Mom always got cranky when she was on deadline. It wasn’t like I was running around like an idiot or watching endless cartoons, which normally I would be but Mom banned the TV while she was working. I was simply minding my own business—reading on my bed.
Guess my breathing got a little too loud for her.
“Rhiannon Webber! You need to get your nose out of that book. Go outside and get some fresh air and sunshine. I don’t want to hear from you for at least an hour.”
Okay. Fine. With as much attitude I could get away with and not get punished, I threw my book down and stomped outside.