Thursday, March 29, 2018

10TH BIRTHDAY BLOGPITCH #48: YA Fantasy

TITLE: Crown of Ash and Stars
GENRE: YA Fantasy

In Elyria, getting married means sharing a consciousness, and Elony can’t wait to marry her childhood best friend, Caz, when she comes of age. After a terrible accident, Caz becomes possessed by an evil spirit who’s determined to plunge the world into an age of darkness, collecting souls for its master, the God of Death. When her best chance of saving Caz is marrying someone else, Elony must decide how much she's willing to give up for love and her kingdom.

11 comments:

  1. Wow, this sounds like a lush and magical book I would definitely pick up and read :) I was definitely hooked by "sharing a consciousness" part. Very intriguing. I like that you outlined the stakes too - that Caz is possessed and her chance at saving him is marrying someone else. Eee! Well done.

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  2. I'd love to see a synopsis and the first 50 pages.

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  3. I have a million questions about this: How will marrying someone else save Caz? Will she become possessed, too, if she marries him? I think this means the pitch works. Well done!

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  4. My type of book right here! Definitely hooked. The stakes are clear and the premise is intriguing.

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  5. Ooh! Sounds like something I would read. Sharing a consciousness and collecting souls, very intriguing. And a difficult choice, probably not as clear cut as presented. Pretty clean presentation, too. Nicely done!

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  6. This sounds so interesting! I love the idea of sharing consciousness. Stakes are clear and it packs a punch.

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  7. This sounds like something I would read. The pitch has a lot of different elements to it, and on one hand I feel like it could be more concise, but on the other hand it gives it a feeling of mystery where I want to know more about the different things mentioned in the pitch.

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  8. Yes, great hook. A couple clarifying suggestions: terrible is vague. Look for a word with more imagery. So much is going on in the first sentence, leave out "when she comes of age."

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  9. This sounds great! Please query me with the first three chapters. Click my name for a link!

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  10. I don't think "consciousness" is the right word choice here. Are you trying to say that they can read each other's minds or do you actually mean that their brains function as one? Either way, this strikes me as something that would be TERRIFYING for a teen girl, and not something she would look forward to.

    Aside from that, try to avoid making this all about a decision. Books are rarely about characters making a single decision. The decision is what causes the internal conflict and not the goal itself.

    Good luck!
    Holly

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