Wednesday, April 24, 2013

April Secret Agent #42

GENRE: Women's Fiction

I was going to be a millionaire—if I wasn’t crushed to death first.

The Leaning Tower of Pisa was nothing compared to the towers in my spare bedroom, or any room for that matter. Mounds of boxes, each rising several feet high, to graze the ceiling, overshadowed and surrounded me. Shoved haphazardly or stacked methodically, Bankers boxes, beer and banana boxes filled my vision and my house. Tiny shoeboxes didn’t even begin to cut it. Letting out a sigh, I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead and lowered yet another box.

Determined this would be the box containing the treasure I searched for, I tore it open and scrutinized its contents.

Earlier that day, the topic on Abigail in the Afternoon was how to become rich by selling your stuff. I certainly had the stuff: items flowed from my closets, rooms, hallways, filled my cabinets, drawers and covered my furniture. Abigail’s guest, an expert on making cash from trash, talked about rare finds and mentioned a particular treasure. My memory clicked. Somewhere in that mountain of boxes was my very own stash of cash: a rare Little Kimmy doll. This was a good example of why I never threw anything out. It was precisely as my dad said, “Why toss what I already have only to spend more money re-buying the same item later?” My belongings were like investments. Everything had worth and was needed, eventually. All I needed was to cash in one or two rare items to be set for life.


  1. I'm hooked. Good job.

  2. haha that first line made me laugh a bit for sure, really charming.

    I also really like the scene you've set up, I can totally imagine the character surrounded by these massive stacks of boxes.

    The title seems really appropriate too given what I've read so far! Great job.

  3. I love this unique take on Women's fiction. The writing is good and very visual. I'd keep reading.

  4. Your first line made me LOL. Careful with your comma placement in spots and try not to rely on passive voice if you can avoid it (last paragraph in particular).

  5. Hmmm. Novel from the hoarder's perspective. Nice twist. I'm hooked.

  6. I really liked your specific description of the boxes; I could picture exactly the juxtaposition of the neatly stacked banker's boxes with the tilting banana boxes. I would definitely read on, as I've always wondered what in the heck goes on in the minds of hoarders. Great topic.

  7. Fun premise. I'd read on. She may not be simply a hoarder but someone desperate for money.

  8. Nice. A spunky hoarder is a great main character. LOL.

  9. I like your concept, too, but the prose doesn't feel smooth to me for some reason. I kept wanting it to be in the present tense, which I'm sure wouldn't be sustainable over the long term; it must just be something about this particular scenario.

    The only real flag I see in this opening is the fact that she's by herself; we have an intriguing concept, but there's not really much interpersonal conflict, because there's no other character for her to butt up against. Is there another character important to the story who can be a foil to move this opening forward?