TITLE: Somebody That I Used to Know
GENRE: YA Contemporary
King Henry VIII won’t shut up.
He’s been talking at me for the past five minutes, even though it should be clear from the platters of food I’m holding that I’m on my way to a table. My arms are starting to ache from trying to keep the heavy silver trays balanced - each one is weighted down with a rapidly cooling turkey leg, tiny potatoes and butter-glazed carrots, long green stems still attached. All of which our customers are invited to enjoy with their fingers instead of silverware, because knives and forks weren’t used in the fifteenth century. At least not in King Henry’s court.
Tudor Tymes management insists we hold true to the little details, even though it means we go through, like, five thousand paper napkins a night. Somehow the fact that paper napkins didn’t actually exist in the Middle Ages was overlooked.
“Anne. Everyone always blames me for what happened to Anne,” King Henry – aka Alan Rickles, retired weatherman/local dinner theatre actor – says, shaking his head sorrowfully. “That’s all anyone remembers me for.”
Of course that’s what we remember him for. Henry had two of his wives beheaded. Not something people easily forget, even five hundred years later.
“What about all the good I did for England?” Alan strokes his thick brown beard. I’m convinced it’s the reason he got the gig in the first place. That and the thirty extra pounds he gained for the role.