TITLE: Chief Bucky
Think Benjamin and Mrs. Robinson. Bucky is a young police chief questioning a beautiful witness in his squad car.
“Did it make you nervous when I said you have gentle hands?”
“Of course not. Why would it make me nervous?”
“So it did make you nervous.”
“Look, Mrs. Farnsworth—”
“Do you find me attractive? You can be honest.” She took a deep drag on her cigarette.
Bucky coughed and cranked down his window and waved smoke out. “It doesn’t matter what I think.”
She took a compact from her purse and looked closely into the mirror. “Look at my eyes. Do you see wrinkles? There’s no wrinkles. Only a couple little ones that everybody has.”
“You look great. That is, I mean normal, you know for a—”
“For a what? An old hag?”
She threw her hands to her face and began weeping. “My husband doesn’t love me anymore.”
“No, I’m sure he loves you. You’re . . . you’re beautiful.” She was sort of beautiful with those big knockers, except her ears kind of stuck out.
She pulled a hanky from her purse, looked back into her mirror and dabbed each eye. “Today was a total waste of makeup.” She giggled. “I’m acting silly. Okay, so about Martin’s son. He was in the kitchen. I saw him.”
“How did you know he was Martin’s son?”
“Oh, we said hi to each other in the hallway, and he told me.”
“Thank you Mrs. Farnsworth. Really appreciate your talking to me.”
She leaned across the seat and threw her cigarette out Bucky’s window. Her big knockers pressed hard against his chest. She put her arms around his neck, “Oh, Bucky, do you really think I’m beautiful?”
Bucky leaned his head back. “Definitely. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
She pulled his head to her and planted a long kiss on his lips. “Thank you, Chief Bucky.”