CONGRATULATIONS to the following randomly selected winners of our Tor Teen book giveaway!
Thanks to EVERYONE for entering, and thank you also to those of you who asked Elayne Becker such thoughtful, interesting questions. All in all, it was a great day!
THE WINNERS:
Like Never and Always by Ann Aguirre (ARC) — Krista Van Dolzer
When I Cast Your Shadow by Sarah Porter —Buba Petreska
Roar by Cora Carmack—Jamie Soranno
Dare You to Lie by Amber Lynn Natusch (ARC)—Cristin Bruggeman
Dark of the West by Joanna Hathaway (ARC)—Tiffany Meuret
Blood and Sand by C.V.Wyk—Heather Bell Adams
The Echo Room by Parker Peevyhouse (ARC)—Sherry Smith
Metaltown by Kristen Simmons—Sandy
Windwitch by Susan Dennard—Jen Schafer
The Dark Intercept by Julia Keller—Jessica Michelle Shrock
To Catch a Killer by Sheryl Scarborough—Maggie Boehme
GRAND PRIZE: A box of NINE of the above books/ARCs!—Carolyn Chambers Clark
(WINNERS: You will receive an email from me [Jillian Boehme] shortly.)
Miss Snark's First Victim
Showing posts with label fun stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun stuff. Show all posts
Thursday, April 5, 2018
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
Exclusive Interview and Q&A with Elayne Becker--and a Big Tenth Birthday Book Giveaway!
Happy Tenth Birthday, Miss Snark's First Victim! And a HUGE thank you to EACH OF YOU for being part of this community over the years.
It's no exaggeration to say that I'm thrilled beyond measure to be working with Elayne Becker at Tor Teen. Her heart for my story and her incredible insight and editorial superpowers (not sure what else to call them--this gal knows her stuff) are making this journey toward publication an incredible one. (I mean, when your editor writes, "I punched the air with my fist!" when she reads a change you've made, what more can you want?)
Here, without further ado, is the interview I've been promising:
Jillian: So you're now an Associate Editor at Tor/Forge Books and Tor Teen (congratulations!). Can you tell us a bit about the journey that brought you to this place?
Elayne: As I'm sure is the case with most publishing professionals, my journey began with a lifelong passion for reading. With children's books in particular, I remember the impact my favorite novels had on me as I was growing up. At a certain point, I suppose it just hit me: what if I could turn that passion into a career? And if I could help put novels on the shelves that might become favorites for the next generation of readers, even better. Fast forward several years, and I'm about to enter my fourth year at Tor. (After studying Classics and History, I might add--no English degree for me!) It's been quite the ride! Working my way up from the entry assistant level required a lot of hard work and long hours, but reaching the stage wherein I get to champion new voices (like yours!) has been a blast and a privilege.
Jillian: I love that you are championing authors, which is above and beyond "editing" or "publishing". What does the process look and feel like to you, from first peek at a submission to that glorious moment when you make an offer?
Elayne: Yeah! A common misconception is that being an editor means spending your day reading and editing manuscripts, when in reality, there's a lot more to it. We're on the front-lines when it comes to working with other departments in-house and endeavoring to secure the best opportunities we can for our titles.
As far as the submission process goes, the best word I can use to describe it is: slow. Due to the busy nature of this job, most of my reading time has to be squeezed in after hours or during that rare quiet week. (I often feel guilty about making agents and authors wait a long time for my response, but I always prefer to give careful reads--and feedback, when I can--rather than rushing an answer out the door.) That being said, time constraints aside, reading submissions is tons of fun! Probably one of my favorite parts of the job. There's such a large breadth of talent out there, and it's a treat to be privy to so many stories in the making. I can usually tell within the first chapter if the writing is at the level I'm looking for. Then, if the foundation is solid, I look at other markers--characters, pacing, worldbuilding, etc. It's important to note that all of those things can be excellent and I might still not feel like the right editor for the project.
Ultimately, it comes down to which story feels right for me, and which I think I can promote to the best of my ability. Not much beats that moment when you find that book that steals your heart and needs to be yours. Several factors go into whether I can make an offer, and what that offer entails. For instance, before I even buy a book, I'm already looking at comparable titles, generating bullets for sales, examining its place in the market, and figuring out how to position it in a way that would maximize its chance at success. Making the offer itself is incredibly exciting -- but also sometimes nerve-wracking! When I love a book, I love it, and there's always the possibility that my offer will not be the one accepted.
Jillian: So, clearly this is a love relationship from the start, and like any relationship, there will sometimes be rough spots. What are some of the more difficult things you encounter between acquisition and release? What can authors bring to the table that will make this process run more smoothly?
Elayne: Generally speaking, one of the hardest parts of the publication process is the fact that there will always be variables outside of our control. We buy books because we love them, we believe in them, and we believe we can sell them. But we can't always predict the outcome. Patience is truly a virtue in this industry. And so, when authors offer patience and understanding, it's enormously helpful. Kindness really does go a long way! Be aware that editors collaborate with several different departments in-house on a daily basis, and as a result may be slower to respond. Understand that editors can't control every part of the process. (Unfortunately! 🙂) Recognize that not every step will be as you envision it, and be open to making changes to the manuscript; your book is your baby, and your editor will respect that, but they'll also recommend changes that will enable you to make your story the best it can be. Be passionate, and fight for your book. But, difficult as this may be to hear, manage expectations. And always, always keep writing.
Jillian: And, of course, you're taking your own advice here, since you are also a writer (freshly agented--congratulations!). I know firsthand the passion and purpose you bring to your authors' stories. How do you balance your time and creative energy between editing and writing? In what ways does your own writing journey bring depth to your career as an editor?
Elayne: Thanks! While I'm usually pretty good at switching between my editor and writer hats, the two do inevitably bleed together a bit, which I feel is a good thing. I like to think that being an editor who's also a writer means I have more empathy for my authors. I know what this journey means to them, and because of that I take my role as their in-house representative incredibly seriously. Also, I know that things on my side of the desk can feel rather "behind the curtains" for many writers, so I try to be transparent about the process, to the extent that I'm able. Essentially, it's just another form of treat others the way you hope to be treated!
And, for the record, the reverse is true as well; being an editor has absolutely been beneficial to my writing. Industry knowledge aside, editing the manuscripts on my list, and listening to colleagues describe the changes they're recommending for their own projects, has enabled me to approach my own writing with a more solid foundation than I'd previously experienced.
Components I tell authors to watch out for -- character development, pacing, worldbuilding, etc. -- are things I tell myself as well. In terms of balancing time and creative energy, I won't lie -- it can be difficult! Working a rather intense day job means I have to squeeze in writing time whenever I can; namely, early mornings before work (bless Bath & Body Works for their forest-scented candles), and throughout the weekends. Sometimes I joke that I've forgotten how to be a person, because I'm not exactly sure what it's like to *not* always be working! It can also be a little challenging to not have that mental divide, since I wake up and think about books, go to work and think about books, and come home and think about books. But, I'm not complaining. I feel incredibly fortunate to have a foot in both doors, and as I said, each informs the other!
Jillian: Well, I'm thankful to be on the receiving end of your boundless insight and experience! In closing, I'd be remiss not to ask you the quintessential interview question: What do you read for pleasure? What are your favorite Books of All Time?
Elayne: Ooh! I don't have as much time to read for pleasure nowadays as I would like, but my queue is a mixed bag! I typically alternate between adult and YA, and recently I've been introducing more nonfiction into the mix as well; Gillian Gill's We Two, a biography of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, and Robert Moor's On Trails, are two books I've been enjoying immensely.
In terms of all-time favorites, how do I choose?! J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings is definitely my favorite series of all time, for so many reasons--the timeless quest, the characters, the land, the insane worldbuilding... I could go on and on, so let's just say, I adore it. Juliet Marillier's Daughter of the Forest has some of the most beautiful prose I've ever encountered; it's a gorgeous story about a girl persevering in the face of adversity in order to save those she loves. Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre and Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice are certainly on the list--partly because I admire the authors, and partly because I see myself in their protagonists. Anything Ruta Sepetys writes, and especially Between Shades of Gray. Harry Potter, of course, and my favorite in the series is Order of the Phoenix. If we're stretching back to childhood, I have to mention Anna Sewell's Black Beauty and Erin Hunter's Warriors series (the original) -- I've always been an animal person, so novels about horses and cats were definitely my jam. And finally, Shannon Hale's The Goose Girl, which I've probably read eleven or twelve times by now. It's a fairy tale that never ceases being magical.
Jillian: A wonderful glimpse into the world of books you love--thank you, Elayne! And thanks so much for this interview.
AND NOW FOR THE Q&A!
Leave your questions for Elayne in the comment box below. Ask her anything you'd like to know! Note: I will accept questions for 24 hours; after this time, I will delete any questions that show up, in the interest of respecting Elayne's time. She will answer as many questions as she can today, and she will return on Monday to answer any remaining questions.
On behalf of everyone--thank you, Elayne!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
It's no exaggeration to say that I'm thrilled beyond measure to be working with Elayne Becker at Tor Teen. Her heart for my story and her incredible insight and editorial superpowers (not sure what else to call them--this gal knows her stuff) are making this journey toward publication an incredible one. (I mean, when your editor writes, "I punched the air with my fist!" when she reads a change you've made, what more can you want?)
Here, without further ado, is the interview I've been promising:
 |
| Elayne Becker |
Jillian: So you're now an Associate Editor at Tor/Forge Books and Tor Teen (congratulations!). Can you tell us a bit about the journey that brought you to this place?
Elayne: As I'm sure is the case with most publishing professionals, my journey began with a lifelong passion for reading. With children's books in particular, I remember the impact my favorite novels had on me as I was growing up. At a certain point, I suppose it just hit me: what if I could turn that passion into a career? And if I could help put novels on the shelves that might become favorites for the next generation of readers, even better. Fast forward several years, and I'm about to enter my fourth year at Tor. (After studying Classics and History, I might add--no English degree for me!) It's been quite the ride! Working my way up from the entry assistant level required a lot of hard work and long hours, but reaching the stage wherein I get to champion new voices (like yours!) has been a blast and a privilege.
Jillian: I love that you are championing authors, which is above and beyond "editing" or "publishing". What does the process look and feel like to you, from first peek at a submission to that glorious moment when you make an offer?
Elayne: Yeah! A common misconception is that being an editor means spending your day reading and editing manuscripts, when in reality, there's a lot more to it. We're on the front-lines when it comes to working with other departments in-house and endeavoring to secure the best opportunities we can for our titles.
As far as the submission process goes, the best word I can use to describe it is: slow. Due to the busy nature of this job, most of my reading time has to be squeezed in after hours or during that rare quiet week. (I often feel guilty about making agents and authors wait a long time for my response, but I always prefer to give careful reads--and feedback, when I can--rather than rushing an answer out the door.) That being said, time constraints aside, reading submissions is tons of fun! Probably one of my favorite parts of the job. There's such a large breadth of talent out there, and it's a treat to be privy to so many stories in the making. I can usually tell within the first chapter if the writing is at the level I'm looking for. Then, if the foundation is solid, I look at other markers--characters, pacing, worldbuilding, etc. It's important to note that all of those things can be excellent and I might still not feel like the right editor for the project.
Ultimately, it comes down to which story feels right for me, and which I think I can promote to the best of my ability. Not much beats that moment when you find that book that steals your heart and needs to be yours. Several factors go into whether I can make an offer, and what that offer entails. For instance, before I even buy a book, I'm already looking at comparable titles, generating bullets for sales, examining its place in the market, and figuring out how to position it in a way that would maximize its chance at success. Making the offer itself is incredibly exciting -- but also sometimes nerve-wracking! When I love a book, I love it, and there's always the possibility that my offer will not be the one accepted.
Jillian: So, clearly this is a love relationship from the start, and like any relationship, there will sometimes be rough spots. What are some of the more difficult things you encounter between acquisition and release? What can authors bring to the table that will make this process run more smoothly?
Elayne: Generally speaking, one of the hardest parts of the publication process is the fact that there will always be variables outside of our control. We buy books because we love them, we believe in them, and we believe we can sell them. But we can't always predict the outcome. Patience is truly a virtue in this industry. And so, when authors offer patience and understanding, it's enormously helpful. Kindness really does go a long way! Be aware that editors collaborate with several different departments in-house on a daily basis, and as a result may be slower to respond. Understand that editors can't control every part of the process. (Unfortunately! 🙂) Recognize that not every step will be as you envision it, and be open to making changes to the manuscript; your book is your baby, and your editor will respect that, but they'll also recommend changes that will enable you to make your story the best it can be. Be passionate, and fight for your book. But, difficult as this may be to hear, manage expectations. And always, always keep writing.
Jillian: And, of course, you're taking your own advice here, since you are also a writer (freshly agented--congratulations!). I know firsthand the passion and purpose you bring to your authors' stories. How do you balance your time and creative energy between editing and writing? In what ways does your own writing journey bring depth to your career as an editor?
Elayne: Thanks! While I'm usually pretty good at switching between my editor and writer hats, the two do inevitably bleed together a bit, which I feel is a good thing. I like to think that being an editor who's also a writer means I have more empathy for my authors. I know what this journey means to them, and because of that I take my role as their in-house representative incredibly seriously. Also, I know that things on my side of the desk can feel rather "behind the curtains" for many writers, so I try to be transparent about the process, to the extent that I'm able. Essentially, it's just another form of treat others the way you hope to be treated!
And, for the record, the reverse is true as well; being an editor has absolutely been beneficial to my writing. Industry knowledge aside, editing the manuscripts on my list, and listening to colleagues describe the changes they're recommending for their own projects, has enabled me to approach my own writing with a more solid foundation than I'd previously experienced.
Components I tell authors to watch out for -- character development, pacing, worldbuilding, etc. -- are things I tell myself as well. In terms of balancing time and creative energy, I won't lie -- it can be difficult! Working a rather intense day job means I have to squeeze in writing time whenever I can; namely, early mornings before work (bless Bath & Body Works for their forest-scented candles), and throughout the weekends. Sometimes I joke that I've forgotten how to be a person, because I'm not exactly sure what it's like to *not* always be working! It can also be a little challenging to not have that mental divide, since I wake up and think about books, go to work and think about books, and come home and think about books. But, I'm not complaining. I feel incredibly fortunate to have a foot in both doors, and as I said, each informs the other!
Jillian: Well, I'm thankful to be on the receiving end of your boundless insight and experience! In closing, I'd be remiss not to ask you the quintessential interview question: What do you read for pleasure? What are your favorite Books of All Time?
Elayne: Ooh! I don't have as much time to read for pleasure nowadays as I would like, but my queue is a mixed bag! I typically alternate between adult and YA, and recently I've been introducing more nonfiction into the mix as well; Gillian Gill's We Two, a biography of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, and Robert Moor's On Trails, are two books I've been enjoying immensely.
In terms of all-time favorites, how do I choose?! J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings is definitely my favorite series of all time, for so many reasons--the timeless quest, the characters, the land, the insane worldbuilding... I could go on and on, so let's just say, I adore it. Juliet Marillier's Daughter of the Forest has some of the most beautiful prose I've ever encountered; it's a gorgeous story about a girl persevering in the face of adversity in order to save those she loves. Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre and Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice are certainly on the list--partly because I admire the authors, and partly because I see myself in their protagonists. Anything Ruta Sepetys writes, and especially Between Shades of Gray. Harry Potter, of course, and my favorite in the series is Order of the Phoenix. If we're stretching back to childhood, I have to mention Anna Sewell's Black Beauty and Erin Hunter's Warriors series (the original) -- I've always been an animal person, so novels about horses and cats were definitely my jam. And finally, Shannon Hale's The Goose Girl, which I've probably read eleven or twelve times by now. It's a fairy tale that never ceases being magical.
Jillian: A wonderful glimpse into the world of books you love--thank you, Elayne! And thanks so much for this interview.
AND NOW FOR THE Q&A!
Leave your questions for Elayne in the comment box below. Ask her anything you'd like to know! Note: I will accept questions for 24 hours; after this time, I will delete any questions that show up, in the interest of respecting Elayne's time. She will answer as many questions as she can today, and she will return on Monday to answer any remaining questions.
On behalf of everyone--thank you, Elayne!
THE GIVEAWAY
Enter below for a chance (or many chances!) to win ALL THE BOOKS! Eleven people will win 1 book each, and 1 lucky winner will win a box of NINE BOOKS. Titles and authors are listed in the rafflecopter box. The raffle closes at midnight, and winners will be announced tomorrow.
(Note: If you've already subscribed to my newsletter, you can still check off that option for your mandatory entry. I'll be double checking all winning entries, so as long as your email is on my list, you're good to go!)
Good luck, everyone!
Good luck, everyone!
Monday, April 2, 2018
Our Tenth Birthday Giveaway!!
It's happening--Miss Snark's First Victim is celebrating TEN WHOLE YEARS this Wednesday, April 4!
To celebrate, there will be an exclusive interview and Q&A session with Elayne Becker, my lovely editor at Tor Teen. As in, SHE WILL ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS! So be sure to stop by and ask them. (And remember--some questions are universal, so don't feel like you can't ask a question if you don't write what Tor Teen publishes. ASK ANYWAY! This session is for everyone.)
In addition to the Q&A, we are having a HUGE BOOK GIVEAWAY FROM TOR TEEN! I'm super excited to offer these books, and a few ARCs, to you.
I mean, LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIES!
Like Never and Always by Ann Aguirre
YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS! Mark your calendars for Wednesday and get your questions ready for Elayne.
T minus 2 days to Birthday Hoopla!
To celebrate, there will be an exclusive interview and Q&A session with Elayne Becker, my lovely editor at Tor Teen. As in, SHE WILL ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS! So be sure to stop by and ask them. (And remember--some questions are universal, so don't feel like you can't ask a question if you don't write what Tor Teen publishes. ASK ANYWAY! This session is for everyone.)
In addition to the Q&A, we are having a HUGE BOOK GIVEAWAY FROM TOR TEEN! I'm super excited to offer these books, and a few ARCs, to you.
I mean, LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIES!
So, how do you win? Easy! On Wednesday, I'll post a Rafflecopter entry form, which will give you a few different options for entering (you may choose as many as you'd like for extra entries!). Winners will be announced on Thursday.
IMPORTANT: This contest is US-only. I HATE THAT, but there's really no way around it. It's true that the majority of my readers are in North America, but I know that some of you hail from elsewhere on the globe. I'm sorry!
Several people will win a single title, and then there will be one grand prize winner who will receive A WHOLE BOX OF BOOKS.
Here are the titles:
Like Never and Always by Ann Aguirre
When I Cast Your Shadow by Sarah Porter
Roar by Cora Carmack
Dare You to Lie by Amber Lynn Natusch
Dark of the West by Joanna Hathaway
Blood and Sand by C.V.Wyk
The Echo Room by Parker Peevyhouse
Metaltown by Kristen Simmons
Windwitch by Susan Dennard
The Dark Intercept by Julia Keller
To Catch a Killer by Sheryl Scarborough
T minus 2 days to Birthday Hoopla!
Monday, March 19, 2018
ALL THE FUN To Celebrate Miss Snark's First Victim's TENTH BIRTHDAY!
Ten years, my friends. On April 4, 2018, it will be AN ENTIRE DECADE since I wrote my first BLOG POST here. Naturally, I want to celebrate!
MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THE FOLLOWING TEN-YEAR CELEBRATORY EVENTS:
1. SNEAKY AGENT BLOGPITCH
1. SNEAKY AGENT BLOGPITCH
When: Thursday, March 29
What: 50 pitches to be posted for public critique and possible requests from agents
SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
*Submissions will open Monday, March 26 at 9:00 am EDT and will close on Tuesday, March 27 at 9:00 am EDT.
*After the close of submissions, the bot will randomly select 50 entries to be posted on the blog.
*ALL CATEGORIES AND GENRES--except erotica or erotic romance--will be included.
*Your entry should consist of a tight, 75-words-or-fewer pitch for your completed, polished novel. (Do not enter this contest if your manuscript is not agent-ready.) Remember--the fewer words, the better.
*Submit your entry HERE.
*The 50 winning entries will post on Thursday, March 29.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
WHAT WILL HAPPEN:
Two wonderful things!
1. Your pitch will receive critique from this lovely blog community AND several published authors.
2. SNEAKY AGENTS will also be reading the pitches! If they see anything they like, THEY WILL MAKE REQUESTS IN THE COMMENT BOXES.
1. Your pitch will receive critique from this lovely blog community AND several published authors.
2. SNEAKY AGENTS will also be reading the pitches! If they see anything they like, THEY WILL MAKE REQUESTS IN THE COMMENT BOXES.
So basically, if your entry is chosen for this blogpitch round, your pitch will be read by agents who are currently open to new clients. The agent response to my invitation to this contest has been delightfully positive so far!
If you have any questions about this contest, please leave them in the comment box below.
2. Q&A WITH ELAYNE BECKER, Associate Editor at Tor Teen
On Wednesday, April 4 -- MSFV's 10th birthday -- I will share an exclusive interview with Elayne Becker, my fabulous editor and rising star at Tor Teen and Tor/Forge Books. In the comment box of the interview, Elayne will field your questions! The comment box will be open for 24 hours, during which time you may post your questions to Elayne. She will take up to 3 days to answer ALL questions posted!
Note: This is a GREAT opportunity to get insight from the inside. Mark your calendars!
Note: This is a GREAT opportunity to get insight from the inside. Mark your calendars!
WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Elayne will be giving away a box o'books from Tor to one lucky winner. YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS! Details on the giveaway are forthcoming.
I hope you'll join us for the celebration! I'm thankful for these past ten years, and I'm glad you've been a part of them.
Tuesday, October 31, 2017
All The Winners (Contests 2 - 5)
So many prizes to give out! A huge THANK YOU to everyone who participated! Here are the answers and our winner lists:
CONTEST 2: ORDER OF EVENTS
1. First Secret Agent Contest (July 2008)
2. Authoress writes ODE TO MY READERS (Feb 2009)
3. First book deal attributed to the blog (Nov 2009)
4. First Baker’s Dozen Agent Auction (Dec 2010)
5. Our first Critique Partner Dating Service (July 2012)
6. Adorable Editors (July 2013)
7. Huge rant on how tired I was of being anonymous (March 2014)
8. Our first ON THE BLOCK (Nov 2015)
9. Authoress signs with Danielle Burby (Dec 2015)
10. Authoress changes the look and title of her blog (Sept 2017)
WINNERS:
1. Kel J. Heinen -- 1-chapter critique from Leah Peterson
2. Sasha -- 1-chapter critique from Karen Duvall
3. H. R. Sinclair -- 1-chapter critique from Peter Salomon
4. T. R. Hudgins -- 1-chapter critique from Julie Butcher
CONTEST 3: FAVORITE AUTHORS
(In no particular order)
Jane Austen
Nancy Bilyeau
Jodi Meadows
Katherine Kurtz
Suzanne Collins
Patricia Mckillip
Holly Bodger
Rae Carson
Mary E. Pearson
Ruta Sepetys
WINNERS:
Too many to list here (23)! All winners will receive an email with instructions on how to claim your book. Congratulations!
CONTEST 4: 2 TRUTHS AND A LIE
1.
A. I suffer from misophonia, a disorder that makes normal human sounds, like chewing, swallowing, and breathing, unbearable to listen to.
B. I have a bone spur in the big toe of my left foot which makes it nigh impossible for me to do a proper relevé. Also it hurts when I wear heels.
C.
2.
A. After college and before marriage, I put my worldly belongings inside—and on top of—a 1971 Volkswagen Super Beetle and moved to Nashville, TN.
B. I
C. I was the accompanist for our University Choir for 3 of my 4 years at Susquehanna University. Those rehearsals were my only experience playing a Steinway full concert grand.
3.
A. At 17, I ran the family car into a tree, completely smashing the front and crackling the windshield. I wasn’t hurt.
B. I currently drive a 1998 Toyota Sienna. Neither door on the passenger’s side opens, because they handles have fallen off. Which means that, if I have a passenger, he has to crawl in through the other side.
C.
4.
A.
B. I’m afraid of heights—I can climb up, but getting down is scary. Once, in San Francisco, I climbed onto a cement thing to take pictures of the trolley turnaround, and I froze. My husband had to come rescue me (in front of lots of people).
C. I grew up believing that women weren’t supposed to drink beer. Which is probably why it’s just recently that I’ve started to appreciate certain brews.
5.
A. My I.Q. is 138, my college G.P.A. was 3.69, and I’m an INFJ.
B. Over the years, I’ve been employed as a daycare teacher, an administrative secretary, a telemarketer, a U.S.P.S. seasonal worker, and an elementary music teacher.
C.
WINNERS:
1. Kate Larkindale -- 1-chapter critique from Danielle Burby
2. D. Strickland -- 1-chapter critique from Adam Bates
3. Susan Dalessandro -- 1-chapter critique from Holly Bodger
4. John Maffia -- 1-chapter critique from Authoress Edits
CONTEST 5: TRUE OR FALSE
1. Mr. A and I met in college. We were both music majors. TRUE
2. I hate cashews. FALSE (OMG I love cashews.)
3. I’ve been taking Tai Chi classes for the last few years. FALSE I take BALLET. (You knew this.)
4. I signed with Josh Getzler in 2010. TRUE
5. I’ve met Beth Revis, Jodi Meadows, and Victoria Schwab in person. FALSE I've never met Victoria.
6. My husband gets all the credit for training me to stop writing dorky dialogue. TRUE
7. Danielle Burby is my third agent. TRUE
8. My claim to theatrical fame is the lead role of Lili in Carnival. TRUE
9. I’ve always wanted a dog, but Mr. A is allergic to them. FALSE I'm an avowed cat person (though Mr. A is indeed allergic to cats).
10. To date, I’ve written 11 novels. Just. Keep. Swimming. TRUE
WINNER:
Krystal -- 6-month subscription for ONE STOP FOR WRITERS.
Congratulations, everyone!
WINNERS: If you do not receive an email from me by the end of today, please let me know!
(Please note: The announcement of the winners of the WRITE HER BIO contest are forthcoming.)
Monday, October 30, 2017
Contest #5: TRUE OR FALSE
 |
| Day 5: 80% of Authoress |
Welcome to our fifth and final contest! I'm SUPER excited about today's prize: a 6-month subscription to ONE STOP FOR WRITERS, courtesy of Angela Ackerman. You don't want to miss this opportunity!
Today's challenge: TRUE OR FALSE
Simply decide whether each of the follow statements is true or false. Post your answers in the comment section (please don't repost the questions -- just a numbered list of T's and F's!). And don't forget to also sign up for the Rafflecopter drawing below.
1. Mr. A and I met in college. We were both music majors.
2. I hate cashews.
3. I’ve been taking Tai Chi classes for the last few years.
4. I signed with Josh Getzler in 2010.
5. I’ve met Beth Revis, Jodi Meadows, and Victoria Schwab in person.
6. My husband gets all the credit for training me to stop writing dorky dialogue.
7. Danielle Burby is my third agent.
8. My claim to theatrical fame is the lead role of Lili in Carnival.
9. I’ve always wanted a dog, but Mr. A is allergic to them.
10. To date, I’ve written 11 novels. Just. Keep. Swimming.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Friday, October 27, 2017
Contest #4: TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
 |
| Day 4: 60% of Authoress |
Welcome to Contest #4! Today we're giving away more first-chapter critiques (yay!).
Today's contest: Below you'll find 5 sets of facts about Authoress--each set contains 2 truths and a lie. Your job is to find the lie in each set! Post your answers in the comment box below, and remember to click on Rafflecopter to be entered in the drawing for the critiques!
(Remember: You don't need to play the game to enter the giveaway! Simply choose a different entry option on the Rafflecopter below.)
(Remember: You don't need to play the game to enter the giveaway! Simply choose a different entry option on the Rafflecopter below.)
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
SET 1:
A. I suffer from misophonia, a disorder that makes normal human sounds, like chewing, swallowing, and breathing, unbearable to listen to.
B. I have a bone spur in the big toe of my left foot which makes it nigh impossible for me to do a proper relevé. Also it hurts when I wear heels.
C. As a child, I had my appendix removed via emergency surgery, only to later learn that my appendix was fine. This was before the days of rabid medical lawsuits (so there wasn’t one).
SET 2:
A. After college and before marriage, I put my worldly belongings inside—and on top of—a 1971 Volkswagen Super Beetle and moved to Nashville, TN.
B. In college, I founded a small campus newspaper that focused on the school of fine arts, since we were largely ignored in the shadow of the school of business. We were still largely ignored, but I had a great experience writing for those two years.
C. I was the accompanist for our University Choir for 3 of my 4 years at Susquehanna University. Those rehearsals were my only experience playing a Steinway full concert grand.
SET 3:
A. At 17, I ran the family car into a tree, completely smashing the front and crackling the windshield. I wasn’t hurt.
B. I currently drive a 1998 Toyota Sienna. Neither door on the passenger’s side opens, because the handles have fallen off. Which means that, if I have a passenger, he has to crawl in through the other side.
C. My husband’s first brand new car had a standard transmission, which I didn’t know how to drive. He took me out for one lesson—just one—and I nailed it.
SET 4:
A. I’ve always had a strange fascination with insects. Our 8th-grade science teacher required a minimum of 30 specimens for our insect collection. I presented him with 84.
B. I’m afraid of heights—I can climb up, but getting down is scary. Once, in San Francisco, I climbed onto a cement thing to take pictures of the trolley turnaround, and I froze. My husband had to come rescue me (in front of lots of people).
C. I grew up believing that women weren’t supposed to drink beer. Which is probably why it’s just recently that I’ve started to appreciate certain brews.
SET 5:
A. My I.Q. is 138, my college G.P.A. was 3.69, and I’m an INFJ.
B. Over the years, I’ve been employed as a daycare teacher, an administrative secretary, a telemarketer, a U.S.P.S. seasonal worker, and an elementary music teacher.
C. I’ve lived in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Kentucky, North Carolina, and Tennessee.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
Contest #3: FAVORITE AUTHORS
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| Day 3: 40% of Authoress |
Welcome to Contest #3, which offers TONS of free books as prizes! In fact, we will be giving away 23 books!! (Note: All book prizes are USA delivery only, except for digital.) Take a moment to scroll through the Rafflecopter below to take a look at the amazing list of prizes.
HOW TO PLAY:
Your job is to complete this list of my FAVORITE AUTHORS. (Disclaimer: this is not my ENTIRE list of favorite authors. Lest you feel I've omitted someone you were sure I loved.)
STEP ONE: You are allowed, as a group, to request 5 CONSONANTS and 1 VOWEL. Here's how this step works:
- Post 1 vowel or consonant choice in the comment section. POST ONLY ONE PER COMMENT.
- As soon as TWO PEOPLE have requested the same letter, that letter is official.
(Note: Step One will likely move fast.)
STEP TWO: Once I have the 5 consonants and 1 vowel, I will edit this post to include them. THAT'S ALL YOU GET! Here's what you need to do:
STEP TWO: Once I have the 5 consonants and 1 vowel, I will edit this post to include them. THAT'S ALL YOU GET! Here's what you need to do:
- Work out the list on your own until you've got all the answers.
- Post your completed list in the comment section.
- FILL OUT THE RAFFLECOPTER so you're eligible to win glorious books. (Please note that, except for anything digital, this giveaway is US only.)
IMPORTANT: You don't have to play to enter the raffle! Simply choose a different entry option in Rafflecopter below.
AUTHORESS'S FAVORITE AUTHORS
(Hint: This list includes authors from today and not-today.)
1. J A N E A _ S _ E N
2. N A N _ _ _ _ L _ E A _
3. J _ _ _ _ E A _ _ _ S
4. _ A _ _ E R _ N E _ _ R _ _
5. S _ _ A N N E _ _ L L _ N S
6. _ A _ R _ _ _ A _ _ _ _ L L _ _
7. _ _ L L _ _ _ _ _ E R
8. R A E _ A R S _ N
9. _ A R _ E. _ E A R S _ N
10. R _ _ A S E _ E _ _ S
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Monday, October 23, 2017
Contest #2: ORDER OF EVENTS
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| Day 2: 20% of Authoress |
To play:
Place these blog events in the order in which they occurred. Post your answer in the comments section. In order to be considered a viable entry, your blog comment needs to contain a completed list of all 10 items.
(Hint: A quick search on the blog will give you the information you need!)
IMPORTANT: If you want to be eligible for the drawing for prizes, be sure to fill out the Rafflecopter! There are options for extra entries to increase your odds of winning, so go for it!
ALSO IMPORTANT: You don't have to play the game to enter! Simply go to Rafflecopter and choose another option for entering.
THE EVENTS:
1. FIRST BAKER'S DOZEN AGENT AUCTION
2. AUTHORESS SIGNS WITH DANIELLE BURBY
3. ADORABLE EDITORS CONTEST
4. FIRST SECRET AGENT CONTEST
5. AUTHORESS CHANGES THE LOOK AND TITLE OF HER BLOG
6. FIRST CRITIQUE PARTNER DATING SERVICE
7. FIRST ON THE BLOCK CONTEST
8. AUTHORESS WRITES ODE TO MY READERS
9. HUGE RANT ON HOW TIRED I WAS OF BEING ANONYMOUS
10. FIRST BOOK DEAL ATTRIBUTED TO THE BLOG
PRIZES OFFERED: 4 1-chapter critiques. Scroll through Rafflecopter to see who they're from!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Thursday, October 12, 2017
AUTHORESS REVEAL: The Official Schedule of Jollity
I've invited you all to celebrate my taking-off of the perpetual hat, so I thought it might be a good idea to share what I've got planned.
Without further ado, here is the official schedule!
OCTOBER 20: Submission Day for Contest 1: WRITE HER BIO (details to post on the 16th)
OCTOBER 20: Submission Day for Contest 1: WRITE HER BIO (details to post on the 16th)
OCTOBER 23: Contest 2 - ORDER OF EVENTS
OCTOBER 25: Contest 3 - FAVORITE AUTHORS
OCTOBER 27: Contest 4 - 2 TRUTHS AND A LIE
OCTOBER 30: Contest 5 - TRUE OR FALSE
NOVEMBER 1: REVEAL DAY
Points of interest:
- The completion of each contest will reveal 1/5 of my photo. On November 1, you'll see the whole thing.
- Each contest will have its own offering of fabulously bookish and writerly prizes! I will post the full prize list next week.
- Contest 1 (WRITE HER BIO) is the only submission-based contest. The other 4 will take place on the blog, in the comment boxes, real time.
- The winners of Contest 1 will be chosen based on merit; the winners of Contests 2 through 5 will be chosen at random (via Rafflecopter). All winners will be announced in a separate post on Reveal Day.
Please ask your questions below--I've gone over and over this, but am still worried I may have forgotten some necessary bit of information.
Also? Thank you so much for your outpouring of enthusiasm, encouragement, and love. I've done far less blogging and fewer contests this year, and I honestly didn't expect this level of outpouring from the masses. I FEEL SO BLESSED.
And less terrified to reveal myself. Thanks for that! :)
And less terrified to reveal myself. Thanks for that! :)
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Fake Query? Okay, Why Not!
Jodi Meadows and I have been friends for almost as long as I've been Authoress. (And she is the one, of course, who singlehandedly unveiled my identity within mere months of having met her. So there's that.)
Anyway, you know how, every so often, you come across an old document file that you don't remember writing? Well, I've just come across one of those. It's a fake query letter that I wrote for Jodi, back when she did query critiques on her blog. (She doesn't do that anymore. Just for the record.)
So in the interest of sharing what not to do in your query letter, please enjoy this from-the-forgotten-archives piece of literary goo.
Anyway, you know how, every so often, you come across an old document file that you don't remember writing? Well, I've just come across one of those. It's a fake query letter that I wrote for Jodi, back when she did query critiques on her blog. (She doesn't do that anymore. Just for the record.)
So in the interest of sharing what not to do in your query letter, please enjoy this from-the-forgotten-archives piece of literary goo.
Dear Mrs. Meadow,
Wives come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, including dead.
Would you like to get a marriage proposal like that? LaTabitha Smoke isn't sure whether she should take the proposal seriously--or whether she should run for her life. Run as far and as fast as she can.
And then, run some more.
Wouldn't you run, if you were LaTabitha? You'd think her best friends would tell her to run, but it seems the opposite is in effect. Brandie, for instance, thinks it's LaTabitha's boyfriend Fang's way of reminding her that they'll stay together "'til death do us part." Chad, who is in the midst of a sexual identity crisis, thinks LaTabitha should kill herself and get it over with. And Magnolia? She's too busy fighting with LaTabitha's sister Prune over who gets to be maid of honor at the wedding.
So much conflict. So many dissenting opinions. Meanwhile, Fang seems to have disappeared. LaTabitha is slightly suspicious when she discovers what looks like Fang's left hand and part of his wrist lying on the floor of her laundry room. But it's getting harder and harder to figure out what she should do about that marriage proposal. LaTabitha is confused...worried...conflicted.
So. Much. Conflict.
Are you ready to find out what happens to LaTabitha? On Marriage and Death is complete at 19,000 words and is ready for your amazed perusal. Nobody else has asked for it; you can be the first!!
I have been writing comedic horror since I was about six years old. The first one was just a one-page class assignment in which we had to use our spelling words to craft a little tale, but my teacher was so astounded by my story (entitled Zombies in the Dark Park) that she hung it on the classroom door and kept it there all year.
Things would only get better from there.
In middle school, I was on the executive board of our school literary magazine, Scribbles. During my four-year tenure, I contributed twenty-eight stories and seven poems, as well as editing other people's work and spending an inordinate amount of time on page layout, since this was before the days of word processing.
By the time I reached ninth grade, I was completing roughly three novels a month. Many of these are edited and available, should you be interested. I have included a title/genre list on the title page of On Marriage and Death.
I work part-time at a local sub shop and spend a lot of time mowing the lawn, since I maintain a high level of concern about my carbon footprint and am committed to using gas-free, hand-propelled mowers. (You should see my biceps.) Incidentally, LaTabitha is very concerned about the environment, so I think you'll see that her character rings very true. I know you will fall in love with her!
Thank you for your time. I am best reached by phone, as I suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome and must severely limit my computer time (I write most of my novels by dictaphone). I look forward to hearing from you very soon!
Very Sincerely Yours,
O. Fendme Knott, esq.
Monday, April 6, 2015
Happy Birthday MSFV!
Miss Snark's First Victim turned 7 on April 4. The hard-to-believe-ness of that doesn't bear repeating.
This blog post from 2 years ago, though, does. For our fifth birthday, I compiled a collection of memorable posts from the first 5 years of this blog. So here they are again, for your enjoyment:
READ MEMORABLE BLOG POSTS HERE
And here are a few of my favorites from the 2 past years:
Why I'm Not Self-Publishing (right now)
MSFV Success Story Authors at EMLA
Our Genre Mash-up Group Story
Also: HEADS UP! Tomorrow I will announce submissions for this week's critique round: NAME THAT GENRE!
(Read about our last round HERE. Fresh submission guidelines will post tomorrow.)
This blog post from 2 years ago, though, does. For our fifth birthday, I compiled a collection of memorable posts from the first 5 years of this blog. So here they are again, for your enjoyment:
READ MEMORABLE BLOG POSTS HERE
And here are a few of my favorites from the 2 past years:
Why I'm Not Self-Publishing (right now)
MSFV Success Story Authors at EMLA
Our Genre Mash-up Group Story
Also: HEADS UP! Tomorrow I will announce submissions for this week's critique round: NAME THAT GENRE!
(Read about our last round HERE. Fresh submission guidelines will post tomorrow.)
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Reposting the Ode
I'm still digesting your collective wisdom and advise from last week's Friday Fricassee. "Blown away" doesn't adequately express it (and is clichéd, at any rate).
So here's a reposting of the Ode I first wrote in 2009. It still applies--perhaps even more so.
Enjoy. And I'll move things back to some semblance of normal around here. I promise. :)
Ode To My Readers
Oh writers all, who browse this blog
And read its rambling prose,
Who share with me the ups and downs
Of writers' joys and woes;
I raise my feathered hat to you
For all that you have shared --
Your thoughts, your hearts, your manuscripts
(For those of you who've dared).
You've bared your souls and shared your dreams
And asked your questions, too;
I count myself so fortunate
To walk this path with you.
For writing is a solitary,
Lonely sort of thing,
Despite the satisfaction
And the pleasure it may bring.
So reaching out across the miles
Of crowded cyberspace
To touch the lives of other scribes
With neither voice nor face
Is something that we dearly need,
To keep our muses fed,
To offer up encouragement
When hope is nearly dead,
To shout "Hooray!" at each success
And "Boo!" when things go wrong,
To lovingly point out that excess
Adverbs don't belong.
So join me while I celebrate
The gift of knowing you,
And thank you all for coming here
And doing what you do.
You're strong, you're brave, you're talented --
Keep going, never doubt!
For living life with passion
Is what life is all about.
So here's a reposting of the Ode I first wrote in 2009. It still applies--perhaps even more so.
Enjoy. And I'll move things back to some semblance of normal around here. I promise. :)
Ode To My Readers
Oh writers all, who browse this blog
And read its rambling prose,
Who share with me the ups and downs
Of writers' joys and woes;
I raise my feathered hat to you
For all that you have shared --
Your thoughts, your hearts, your manuscripts
(For those of you who've dared).
You've bared your souls and shared your dreams
And asked your questions, too;
I count myself so fortunate
To walk this path with you.
For writing is a solitary,
Lonely sort of thing,
Despite the satisfaction
And the pleasure it may bring.
So reaching out across the miles
Of crowded cyberspace
To touch the lives of other scribes
With neither voice nor face
Is something that we dearly need,
To keep our muses fed,
To offer up encouragement
When hope is nearly dead,
To shout "Hooray!" at each success
And "Boo!" when things go wrong,
To lovingly point out that excess
Adverbs don't belong.
So join me while I celebrate
The gift of knowing you,
And thank you all for coming here
And doing what you do.
You're strong, you're brave, you're talented --
Keep going, never doubt!
For living life with passion
Is what life is all about.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Holiday Gift #1 -- Christmas Lyrics and Recording For You
Of course I had to jump into the fun-with-lyrics, though I thought I'd wait until after the contest to post mine. So here you go--my Christmas creation, for you, with love.
(And if you find yourself singing this in the shower, and especially during the month of November--well, my work here is done!)
(And if you find yourself singing this in the shower, and especially during the month of November--well, my work here is done!)
NANO NANO NANO NANO, OH (Deck the Halls)
NANO NANO NANO NANO, OH (Deck the Halls)
by Authoress (c. Beat Your Own Drum, 2014. All rights reserved.)
In December in the city, NaNo NaNo NaNo NaNo, Oh.
Agent slush piles don’t look pretty, NaNo NaNo NaNo NaNo, Oh.
30 frenzied days of writing, NaNo Na, NaNo Na, NaNo, Oh.
Lead to off’rings uninviting. NaNo NaNo NaNo NaNo, Oh.
See the agents kneel before us, NaNo NaNo NaNo Nano, Oh.
As they sing in mournful chorus: NaNo NaNo NaNo Nano, Oh.
“Pardon us for patronizing, NaNo Na, NaNo Na, NaNo, Oh.
“But you all should be revising!” NaNo NaNo NaNo Nano, Oh.
Purple prose and plot holes yawning, NaNo NaNo NaNo Nano, Oh.
Come the authors, blithe and fawning, NaNo NaNo NaNo Nano, Oh.
“Dearest Agent, here’s my query,” NaNo Na, NaNo Na, NaNo, Oh.
Sent with eyes all red and bleary. NaNo NaNo NaNo Nano, Oh.
Fast away the old year passes, NaNo NaNo NaNo Nano, Oh.
Listen well, you lads and lasses, NaNo NaNo NaNo Nano, Oh.
If you want to land an agent, NaNo Na, NaNo Na, NaNo, Oh.
Toss your NaNo to the pavement! NaNo NaNo NaNo Nano, Oh.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Genre Mash-Up Group Story -- and WINNER!
Thanks so much for playing along. Here's the (scary, weird, imbued with your individuality and creativity) story:
Afterglow dimmed Nan's vision as she emerged from the stellar cartography lab. Blue ink had seeped into her fingertips and so she rubbed them on the hem of her woolly charcoal sweater while peering at the time on the clock. Cursing her own tardiness, she sped off toward the quad where he waited.
Dark and handsome in his navy blue Bath superfine topcoat, her heart twisted in her chest. Even after the horizontal gymnastics with Jake back in the lab, Nan found herself drawn to the stranger. Forgotten was her promise not to do this again; not to give in to that stupid voice in the back of her head whispering lies over her.
"Go find her!" the stranger said.
"How ever will I do that? I need to feed my hippopotamus before 7:00!"
Impatiently, she brushed the thought aside knowing it was simply another lie one of the voices continued to whisper. Just as Nan was about to investigate, she snapped out of her daydream, her mom's voice calling her in for dinner.
Kitchen smelled like feet again, Nan thought.
Laughter echoed through the house and Nan, not expecting company, stepped into the kitchen only to find herself face to face with the stranger from her daydream.
More please, she thought staring at his hotness, unable to look away.
Nothing could keep her from thinking about him, except the unearthly purple device ticking in his hand.
"Obviously you aren't here for the coffee," she blurted.
"Perhaps not," he replied with a smile that made her knees turn to water.
"Quit waving that thing around," she said, "you'll scare the hippo."
Rising from a quick bow of apology, he shoved the device out of sight, deep into his front coat pocket. "Show me your palm, miss. I suspect your life lies eons away from these maps," he said, pulling Nan's left hand towards himself
Thankfully he didn't grab her right hand, for if he had the space time continuum would've been altered forever.
"Uh..." she mused. "Want to join me for pottery class? Starts in ten!"
Very carefully, Nan checked her pockets for the snuff-box of spells she'd created in the lab that morning, and the new galactic map. Without a second thought, she folded the map and stuffed it in her pocket.
"X-rays alone could see through to your bones, but I have a feeling that even then I couldn't see through your disguise," Nan said to the handsome man.
"You choose your heart's desires!" he said, reaching out for a stray lock on her forehead, "But the clay I have to offer comes from a realm you can stay in forever!"
"Zounds!" cried the stranger. "Can I hire you to map some maps for me? You're one amazing mapper!"
"Anyway, what's that crazy tattoo on your neck--like, snakes or something?"
"Butterflies, actually," said the stranger, blushing as he went on: "Listen, I was wondering if you and your pottery and hippo mapping skills would like to help me find a magical star."
"'Course I would!" Nan exclaimed, knowing that her time had finally come.
Drool covered Nan's chin as she woke up, not in a brave new world with a hot guy, but in Mr. Mann's fourth period Civics class's.
"EVERY time!" she exclaimed to herself, referring to the fact that this happened almost daily, and always in boring old Civics.
"Fellow Olympians," she said, let us stop pretending to be mere mortals."
"Good grief," her Civics teacher said, staring at her as if she'd just grown monkey ears, "what did you just say?"
"HONOR OVER ALL!" she yelled, ignoring her teacher, before jumping over a desk and running to the bus stop where she had a sneaking suspicion that a handsome man would be waiting.
Indeed, he was here: the ultimate bad boy, Hades.
"Just when I thought leaving wasn't worth detention, I see you," Nan boldly said gazing into Hade's green eyes.
"Keep bad-mouthing the lord of the underworld, because THAT'S a great idea," Hades said sarcastically.
"Lip-locking with you is not how I intend to spend my day," she said. "I have responsibilities. I have a civics exam to study for."
Making a terrible face, Hades disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Not what I imagined, a blood pool marked where he once stood. Only it wasn't normal blood; It was green!
"Pixie dust and pepper mills!" Nan exclaimed with disgust. "Can this day get any more weird?"
"Quidditch isn't weird," said a haggard old woman, "if you're looking for normalcy, why don't you try out for the team?"
"Really...like anyone would want a 4' 6" girl with tendrils for arms on their team - Quidditch or not."
"Suit yourself," said the old woman as she reached down into her massive woven bag and pulled out a ticking, pulsing, purple device that Nan recognized at once.
Twin threats could mean only one thing. Underworld Mayhem! Variable stars were undermining the barrier between sequential universes, and folding the map had been a big mistake.
With a jolt, Nan found herself in a grassy field as snarling cannibals screeched all around her. Xavier University, freshman year all over again, Nan thought, as she pulled a whistle from her pocket and blew, hoping her trusty hippo wasn't far.
"You are my only friend, Snuggles." Nan hugged her stuffed hippo and prepared to fend off the voracious Kindergarteners.
Zoology had taught her a lot about hippos, unfortunately it had not taught her a lot about magical maps that folded space and time. And that left Nan in quite a pickle, since she had to get her hippo back to the magical land of Noz. But she couldn't get to Noz without her magical groovy slippers, the ones she received for having the highest grade on her civics final. Curse those kindergartners for stealing them from her backpack while they distracted her with that phony fund-raiser. Didn't they understand that it was only with the magical groovy slippers that she could possibly hope to save her twin sister's life?
EEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!
"For crying out loud, I thought you were dead!" Nan said.
"Gotcha!" said the man in the black suit, sunglasses, and impossibly skinny black tie.
"How did you find me?" Nan asked, sidling up beside him and reaching her hand into his pocket to grab his identification badge.
"I set the chrono on my watch to your coordinates."
Just them, they were interrupted by the horrific crash of a UFO. Known enemies of the state, little orange men emerged. The leader spoke. "Take me to your hippo."
"Looks like you've messed with the wrong Superhero." Nan assumed a fighting stance.
Many other orange men poured out of the UFO and surrounded her, all pointing plasma guns at her. Nan plunged her hand into her pocket and drew out the snuff-box of spells. Opening the box, Nan sifted through the fortune cookie sized strips of paper to find the spell she desired.
Practically speaking, there's really only one spell to use when surrounded by little men of this particular hue: Abra-Nothing-Rhymes-With-Orange-Cadabra. Quietly she placed the spell back into her pocket, shook it up, spun around, and poof...the little orange men turned into tiny ladybugs. Reaching hither thither with her toes, she began stomping at them, all the while plotting to find the unicorn thief.
Stomp, stomp she went, and never mind the man in the black suit who appeared once again and withdrew the throbbing purple ticking thingamagig out of his...terrifying titillating tentacle trap which, Nan thought, would be extremely unhelpful in this situation.
"Un-un-un-helpful?" asked a quivering voice that sounded as if it came from the tentacle trap.
"Vermicious Knid!" Nan yelped in surprise. "I didn't know any of you had escaped the Planet Vermes!"
"Whoa there," said the hippo, who just at that moment decided he was very very hungry for some Vermicious Knid, which are, as everyone knows, the best kind of Knid.
"Xanthian Knid--" (a subcategory of Vermicious Knid) "--are my absolute FAVORITE!" exclaimed the hippo, as he set about nomming on the Knid like each one was the last cheesy nacho Dorito in the bag.
"You stop there," said a voice that gave the hippo no option but to freeze.
Zap! Fabio Magico rode up on his gas-guzzling crotch rocket, shooting the giant hippo with a stun gun, and shooting a dazzling smile at Nan.
"Armadillo," Zeke said. "It was an armadillo that kidnapped me. No thanks to you."
But Nan was furious Fabio used his stun gun on her hippo right when Zeke appeared, so she shot him between the eyes with her arrow. "Can't you just keep that temper in line?"
"Dear," her mother said, interrupting her thoughts, "Stop daydreaming and finish your supper before it gets cold."
"Every time," Nan mumbled bitterly, "I get close to figuring it all out, my mother has to go and remind me to eat. As if food were more important than hungry hippos, long-lost twins, and sexy strangers!"
"Families do have to come first, though," Nan said to herself. "Even when they are a ghost and disturbing the children's sleep at night."
Her dog, Mr. Hippo, barked at Nan's feet. She reached down to pet him, muttering, "Sometimes, I wish you were a real Hippo."
"I wouldn't wish that if I were you," came a strange whisper in her ear.
"Just eat, or you will soon be a ghost!!"
Keeping her back to the strange presence behind her, Nan reached for the fork to her left; her only weapon against the intruder.
"Listening to the family ghost's advice isn't going to get me anywhere but dead," she snapped as her fingers closed around the fork--but instead of flatware, she found herself holding a certain familiar pernicious, purple, pulsing device.
"Maybe, I'll... I'll just teach you all not to mess with me." She closed her eyes and squeezed.
"Never forget what I did to those ladybugs," Nan smirked, lifting a shoe and exposing the smudges of red and black.
"Ouch!" yelled her mother, as she pulled the fork from her bleeding palm.
"Please don't send me back to the sanitarium!" Nan pleaded.
"Quiet!" her mother commanded. "Did you hear that?"
Rain was the only thing Nan heard, dripping in an unsteady patter over the roof.
Shaking with fear, her mother brandished the fork Nan had just used to stab her. "The sanitarium may be just the place for you, my darlin' girl, if you're going to start stabbing people again," her mother snarled.
Ululating in protest, Nan rushed her mother. Very soon she would have her chance to exact revenge; if only she could have held out for a better target.
When a cop in a purple unicorn costume burst into her house, Nan's "mother" grabbed Nan and held the fork to Nan's throat.
"Y'all just stop it now," Nan pleaded. "This costume party's getting out of hand. I'm going back to the lab for a nap. When I get back, this place better be picked up."
"Zesty tricks just make the party more fun," brayed the zebra.
Another trick, or another trap? Nan eyed the distance to the door. Backing up with a quick jerk, Nan took advantage of her mother's surprise and bolted out into the freezing night. Could she make out the yard? Could she survive below 0 degrees temperature with just her pj's on?
Dang-nab-it, she had no choice - she'd have to find out. Even if she was sporting her birthday suit, nothing was going to stop her from getting away from that crazy bunch.
"Geronimo!" Nan yelled, calling out the nickname for her favorite front screen door rather than the historic Bedonkohe Apache leader--or the talking mouse.
"Have you lost your frigin' mind," hollered Nan's next door neighbor, William, the hottest guy in her school.
"I saw a strange creature in the yard, come see."
Just then, a zebra ran by, chasing a purple unicorn.
Kinda feels like I belong in the sanitarium, Nan thought, rubbing her eyes and looking again. She regretted skipping her meds at breakfast.
"Look over there, Will, and tell me what YOU see."
Millions of sparkling lights shine out of the forest, followed by sinister and disembodied whispers. Noisy footsteps followed as narcissist neon-colored elves revealed themselves, armed with a gun in one hand and a mirror in the other.
"Odd," said Will, squinting hard, "I think that elf is reading Catcher in the Rye - freaking pretentious, yo."
"Pottery!" Nan yelled and threw her fork to the floor. "I totally missed my pottery class."
"Quit whining," Will said. "It could be so much worse than just missing a pottery class."
"Run!!!!", Nan yelled as the neon-colored elves closed-in on them.
Slipping on the wet leaves, Nan shrieked and scrambled behind a nearby tree. Trembling, Will lay down beside her.
"Useless twit," said Nan, "get out there and do something heroic."
"Vermin!" Will pointed shakily to the large poisonous bat fluttering down from the trees above them.
"What on earth on you doing?" cried Nan's mother, who was standing in the open doorway.
"Xenoglossophobia, Mom! We need to see if these elves and poisonous bat are afraid of foreign languages so everyone say something not English."
"You know, that's not such a bad idea," Nan's mom said, and, to the elves. "Porra, pá, desapareçam mas é daqui que eu tenho a panela ao lume!"
***
And the winner of the free 3-page edit is KATE LARKINDALE. Congratulations, Kate! Please email me at authoress.edits(at)gmail.com for submission instructions.
Afterglow dimmed Nan's vision as she emerged from the stellar cartography lab. Blue ink had seeped into her fingertips and so she rubbed them on the hem of her woolly charcoal sweater while peering at the time on the clock. Cursing her own tardiness, she sped off toward the quad where he waited.
Dark and handsome in his navy blue Bath superfine topcoat, her heart twisted in her chest. Even after the horizontal gymnastics with Jake back in the lab, Nan found herself drawn to the stranger. Forgotten was her promise not to do this again; not to give in to that stupid voice in the back of her head whispering lies over her.
"Go find her!" the stranger said.
"How ever will I do that? I need to feed my hippopotamus before 7:00!"
Impatiently, she brushed the thought aside knowing it was simply another lie one of the voices continued to whisper. Just as Nan was about to investigate, she snapped out of her daydream, her mom's voice calling her in for dinner.
Kitchen smelled like feet again, Nan thought.
Laughter echoed through the house and Nan, not expecting company, stepped into the kitchen only to find herself face to face with the stranger from her daydream.
More please, she thought staring at his hotness, unable to look away.
Nothing could keep her from thinking about him, except the unearthly purple device ticking in his hand.
"Obviously you aren't here for the coffee," she blurted.
"Perhaps not," he replied with a smile that made her knees turn to water.
"Quit waving that thing around," she said, "you'll scare the hippo."
Rising from a quick bow of apology, he shoved the device out of sight, deep into his front coat pocket. "Show me your palm, miss. I suspect your life lies eons away from these maps," he said, pulling Nan's left hand towards himself
Thankfully he didn't grab her right hand, for if he had the space time continuum would've been altered forever.
"Uh..." she mused. "Want to join me for pottery class? Starts in ten!"
Very carefully, Nan checked her pockets for the snuff-box of spells she'd created in the lab that morning, and the new galactic map. Without a second thought, she folded the map and stuffed it in her pocket.
"X-rays alone could see through to your bones, but I have a feeling that even then I couldn't see through your disguise," Nan said to the handsome man.
"You choose your heart's desires!" he said, reaching out for a stray lock on her forehead, "But the clay I have to offer comes from a realm you can stay in forever!"
"Zounds!" cried the stranger. "Can I hire you to map some maps for me? You're one amazing mapper!"
"Anyway, what's that crazy tattoo on your neck--like, snakes or something?"
"Butterflies, actually," said the stranger, blushing as he went on: "Listen, I was wondering if you and your pottery and hippo mapping skills would like to help me find a magical star."
"'Course I would!" Nan exclaimed, knowing that her time had finally come.
Drool covered Nan's chin as she woke up, not in a brave new world with a hot guy, but in Mr. Mann's fourth period Civics class's.
"EVERY time!" she exclaimed to herself, referring to the fact that this happened almost daily, and always in boring old Civics.
"Fellow Olympians," she said, let us stop pretending to be mere mortals."
"Good grief," her Civics teacher said, staring at her as if she'd just grown monkey ears, "what did you just say?"
"HONOR OVER ALL!" she yelled, ignoring her teacher, before jumping over a desk and running to the bus stop where she had a sneaking suspicion that a handsome man would be waiting.
Indeed, he was here: the ultimate bad boy, Hades.
"Just when I thought leaving wasn't worth detention, I see you," Nan boldly said gazing into Hade's green eyes.
"Keep bad-mouthing the lord of the underworld, because THAT'S a great idea," Hades said sarcastically.
"Lip-locking with you is not how I intend to spend my day," she said. "I have responsibilities. I have a civics exam to study for."
Making a terrible face, Hades disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Not what I imagined, a blood pool marked where he once stood. Only it wasn't normal blood; It was green!
"Pixie dust and pepper mills!" Nan exclaimed with disgust. "Can this day get any more weird?"
"Quidditch isn't weird," said a haggard old woman, "if you're looking for normalcy, why don't you try out for the team?"
"Really...like anyone would want a 4' 6" girl with tendrils for arms on their team - Quidditch or not."
"Suit yourself," said the old woman as she reached down into her massive woven bag and pulled out a ticking, pulsing, purple device that Nan recognized at once.
Twin threats could mean only one thing. Underworld Mayhem! Variable stars were undermining the barrier between sequential universes, and folding the map had been a big mistake.
With a jolt, Nan found herself in a grassy field as snarling cannibals screeched all around her. Xavier University, freshman year all over again, Nan thought, as she pulled a whistle from her pocket and blew, hoping her trusty hippo wasn't far.
"You are my only friend, Snuggles." Nan hugged her stuffed hippo and prepared to fend off the voracious Kindergarteners.
Zoology had taught her a lot about hippos, unfortunately it had not taught her a lot about magical maps that folded space and time. And that left Nan in quite a pickle, since she had to get her hippo back to the magical land of Noz. But she couldn't get to Noz without her magical groovy slippers, the ones she received for having the highest grade on her civics final. Curse those kindergartners for stealing them from her backpack while they distracted her with that phony fund-raiser. Didn't they understand that it was only with the magical groovy slippers that she could possibly hope to save her twin sister's life?
EEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!
"For crying out loud, I thought you were dead!" Nan said.
"Gotcha!" said the man in the black suit, sunglasses, and impossibly skinny black tie.
"How did you find me?" Nan asked, sidling up beside him and reaching her hand into his pocket to grab his identification badge.
"I set the chrono on my watch to your coordinates."
Just them, they were interrupted by the horrific crash of a UFO. Known enemies of the state, little orange men emerged. The leader spoke. "Take me to your hippo."
"Looks like you've messed with the wrong Superhero." Nan assumed a fighting stance.
Many other orange men poured out of the UFO and surrounded her, all pointing plasma guns at her. Nan plunged her hand into her pocket and drew out the snuff-box of spells. Opening the box, Nan sifted through the fortune cookie sized strips of paper to find the spell she desired.
Practically speaking, there's really only one spell to use when surrounded by little men of this particular hue: Abra-Nothing-Rhymes-With-Orange-Cadabra. Quietly she placed the spell back into her pocket, shook it up, spun around, and poof...the little orange men turned into tiny ladybugs. Reaching hither thither with her toes, she began stomping at them, all the while plotting to find the unicorn thief.
Stomp, stomp she went, and never mind the man in the black suit who appeared once again and withdrew the throbbing purple ticking thingamagig out of his...terrifying titillating tentacle trap which, Nan thought, would be extremely unhelpful in this situation.
"Un-un-un-helpful?" asked a quivering voice that sounded as if it came from the tentacle trap.
"Vermicious Knid!" Nan yelped in surprise. "I didn't know any of you had escaped the Planet Vermes!"
"Whoa there," said the hippo, who just at that moment decided he was very very hungry for some Vermicious Knid, which are, as everyone knows, the best kind of Knid.
"Xanthian Knid--" (a subcategory of Vermicious Knid) "--are my absolute FAVORITE!" exclaimed the hippo, as he set about nomming on the Knid like each one was the last cheesy nacho Dorito in the bag.
"You stop there," said a voice that gave the hippo no option but to freeze.
Zap! Fabio Magico rode up on his gas-guzzling crotch rocket, shooting the giant hippo with a stun gun, and shooting a dazzling smile at Nan.
"Armadillo," Zeke said. "It was an armadillo that kidnapped me. No thanks to you."
But Nan was furious Fabio used his stun gun on her hippo right when Zeke appeared, so she shot him between the eyes with her arrow. "Can't you just keep that temper in line?"
"Dear," her mother said, interrupting her thoughts, "Stop daydreaming and finish your supper before it gets cold."
"Every time," Nan mumbled bitterly, "I get close to figuring it all out, my mother has to go and remind me to eat. As if food were more important than hungry hippos, long-lost twins, and sexy strangers!"
"Families do have to come first, though," Nan said to herself. "Even when they are a ghost and disturbing the children's sleep at night."
Her dog, Mr. Hippo, barked at Nan's feet. She reached down to pet him, muttering, "Sometimes, I wish you were a real Hippo."
"I wouldn't wish that if I were you," came a strange whisper in her ear.
"Just eat, or you will soon be a ghost!!"
Keeping her back to the strange presence behind her, Nan reached for the fork to her left; her only weapon against the intruder.
"Listening to the family ghost's advice isn't going to get me anywhere but dead," she snapped as her fingers closed around the fork--but instead of flatware, she found herself holding a certain familiar pernicious, purple, pulsing device.
"Maybe, I'll... I'll just teach you all not to mess with me." She closed her eyes and squeezed.
"Never forget what I did to those ladybugs," Nan smirked, lifting a shoe and exposing the smudges of red and black.
"Ouch!" yelled her mother, as she pulled the fork from her bleeding palm.
"Please don't send me back to the sanitarium!" Nan pleaded.
"Quiet!" her mother commanded. "Did you hear that?"
Rain was the only thing Nan heard, dripping in an unsteady patter over the roof.
Shaking with fear, her mother brandished the fork Nan had just used to stab her. "The sanitarium may be just the place for you, my darlin' girl, if you're going to start stabbing people again," her mother snarled.
Ululating in protest, Nan rushed her mother. Very soon she would have her chance to exact revenge; if only she could have held out for a better target.
When a cop in a purple unicorn costume burst into her house, Nan's "mother" grabbed Nan and held the fork to Nan's throat.
"Y'all just stop it now," Nan pleaded. "This costume party's getting out of hand. I'm going back to the lab for a nap. When I get back, this place better be picked up."
"Zesty tricks just make the party more fun," brayed the zebra.
Another trick, or another trap? Nan eyed the distance to the door. Backing up with a quick jerk, Nan took advantage of her mother's surprise and bolted out into the freezing night. Could she make out the yard? Could she survive below 0 degrees temperature with just her pj's on?
Dang-nab-it, she had no choice - she'd have to find out. Even if she was sporting her birthday suit, nothing was going to stop her from getting away from that crazy bunch.
"Geronimo!" Nan yelled, calling out the nickname for her favorite front screen door rather than the historic Bedonkohe Apache leader--or the talking mouse.
"Have you lost your frigin' mind," hollered Nan's next door neighbor, William, the hottest guy in her school.
"I saw a strange creature in the yard, come see."
Just then, a zebra ran by, chasing a purple unicorn.
Kinda feels like I belong in the sanitarium, Nan thought, rubbing her eyes and looking again. She regretted skipping her meds at breakfast.
"Look over there, Will, and tell me what YOU see."
Millions of sparkling lights shine out of the forest, followed by sinister and disembodied whispers. Noisy footsteps followed as narcissist neon-colored elves revealed themselves, armed with a gun in one hand and a mirror in the other.
"Odd," said Will, squinting hard, "I think that elf is reading Catcher in the Rye - freaking pretentious, yo."
"Pottery!" Nan yelled and threw her fork to the floor. "I totally missed my pottery class."
"Quit whining," Will said. "It could be so much worse than just missing a pottery class."
"Run!!!!", Nan yelled as the neon-colored elves closed-in on them.
Slipping on the wet leaves, Nan shrieked and scrambled behind a nearby tree. Trembling, Will lay down beside her.
"Useless twit," said Nan, "get out there and do something heroic."
"Vermin!" Will pointed shakily to the large poisonous bat fluttering down from the trees above them.
"What on earth on you doing?" cried Nan's mother, who was standing in the open doorway.
"Xenoglossophobia, Mom! We need to see if these elves and poisonous bat are afraid of foreign languages so everyone say something not English."
"You know, that's not such a bad idea," Nan's mom said, and, to the elves. "Porra, pá, desapareçam mas é daqui que eu tenho a panela ao lume!"
***
And the winner of the free 3-page edit is KATE LARKINDALE. Congratulations, Kate! Please email me at authoress.edits(at)gmail.com for submission instructions.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Sentence-by-Sentence Genre Mash-Up -- With a Prize!
So I've taken some of your ideas and concocted the following Fun Thing (because YOU GUYS I NEED A FUN THING ON THE BLOG THIS WEEK):
1. Add ONE SENTENCE to the existing story. ONLY ONE.
2. The sentence must begin with THE NEXT LETTER OF THE ALPHABET.
3. IMPORTANT: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SKIP "X".
4. Your sentence should reflect THE GENRE YOU WRITE IN.
5. Nevertheless, IT SHOULD MAKE ENOUGH SENSE THAT WE CAN FOLLOW THE STORY.
6. You may play more than once.
Basically, when we're finished, we'll have a multiple-genred masterpiece.
Pot sweetener: When we're finished, I will randomly draw one contributor's name to win a 3-page edit.
I will also publish the completed masterpiece as its own blog post.
We'll keep this up for 48-ish hours, okay? Let's say midnight Thursday is the official "the end".
MY OPENING SENTENCE IS IN THE COMMENT BOX. Go from there.
PLEASE NOTE: If you find that you've sat there a long time thinking, be sure to REFRESH THE PAGE. Because someone else may have added a sentence while you were listening to your muse.
IF THERE ARE 2 SENTENCES STARTING WITH THE SAME LETTER, I WILL DELETE THE SECOND ONE. If I haven't gotten around to deleting it and it's your turn, please refer to THE FIRST SENTENCE BEGINNING WITH THAT LETTER.
Capiche?
If you have any questions, please tweet them to me, so that we can reserve this comment box for the story alone.
(Note to email subscribers: please remember that you need to GO TO THE BLOG to participate.)
On your mark...
1. Add ONE SENTENCE to the existing story. ONLY ONE.
2. The sentence must begin with THE NEXT LETTER OF THE ALPHABET.
3. IMPORTANT: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SKIP "X".
4. Your sentence should reflect THE GENRE YOU WRITE IN.
5. Nevertheless, IT SHOULD MAKE ENOUGH SENSE THAT WE CAN FOLLOW THE STORY.
6. You may play more than once.
Basically, when we're finished, we'll have a multiple-genred masterpiece.
Pot sweetener: When we're finished, I will randomly draw one contributor's name to win a 3-page edit.
I will also publish the completed masterpiece as its own blog post.
We'll keep this up for 48-ish hours, okay? Let's say midnight Thursday is the official "the end".
MY OPENING SENTENCE IS IN THE COMMENT BOX. Go from there.
PLEASE NOTE: If you find that you've sat there a long time thinking, be sure to REFRESH THE PAGE. Because someone else may have added a sentence while you were listening to your muse.
IF THERE ARE 2 SENTENCES STARTING WITH THE SAME LETTER, I WILL DELETE THE SECOND ONE. If I haven't gotten around to deleting it and it's your turn, please refer to THE FIRST SENTENCE BEGINNING WITH THAT LETTER.
Capiche?
If you have any questions, please tweet them to me, so that we can reserve this comment box for the story alone.
(Note to email subscribers: please remember that you need to GO TO THE BLOG to participate.)
On your mark...
Thursday, July 10, 2014
MSFV Success Story Authors at EMLA
I absolutely love this picture. I love staring at it. And I'm thankful that Peter Salomon had the presence of thought to gather these folks for the photo op.
The scoop: Erin Murphy Literary Agency holds an annual retreat in Vermont for its clients. While attending this year's retreat, Peter realized that TEN PERCENT of EMLA's clients are part of the MSFV Success Story family. As in--each of the authors in the above picture attributes a portion of his or her success to this blog.
More specifically, Ammi-Joan Paquette and Tricia Lawrence are both long-term supporters of this blog, and have been involved in many events over the years, including the popular Baker's Dozen Agent Auction each December. In addition, Joan has been a hard-core lurker here, and has signed more clients from MSFV than any other agent. Let's just say that, if she paid me back in a year's supply of chocolate for each MSFV client she's nabbed, I'd have chocolate for quite some time!
Pictured above, from left to right:
Peter Salomon, Tara Dairman, agent Joan Paquette, J. Anderson Coats, Joshua McCune, Ann Bedichek Braden, agent Tricia Lawrence.
The scoop: Erin Murphy Literary Agency holds an annual retreat in Vermont for its clients. While attending this year's retreat, Peter realized that TEN PERCENT of EMLA's clients are part of the MSFV Success Story family. As in--each of the authors in the above picture attributes a portion of his or her success to this blog.
More specifically, Ammi-Joan Paquette and Tricia Lawrence are both long-term supporters of this blog, and have been involved in many events over the years, including the popular Baker's Dozen Agent Auction each December. In addition, Joan has been a hard-core lurker here, and has signed more clients from MSFV than any other agent. Let's just say that, if she paid me back in a year's supply of chocolate for each MSFV client she's nabbed, I'd have chocolate for quite some time!
Pictured above, from left to right:
Peter Salomon, Tara Dairman, agent Joan Paquette, J. Anderson Coats, Joshua McCune, Ann Bedichek Braden, agent Tricia Lawrence.
It is a blessing and a privilege to have played a small role in each of these author's journeys. Look how beautiful they are! This photograph is, for me, like a virtual group hug.
I'm proud of you guys, and I'm happy for you. Thank you for allowing my words and my life to brush against yours. And thank you, Joan and Trish, for trusting me enough to offer your continued support and involvement.
L'chaim!
I'm proud of you guys, and I'm happy for you. Thank you for allowing my words and my life to brush against yours. And thank you, Joan and Trish, for trusting me enough to offer your continued support and involvement.
L'chaim!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Repost: ODE TO MY READERS
I included this in the MSFV 5-year retrospective, but I suspect many of you missed it because of the sheer number of clickable choices.
At any rate, I wrote this in February, 2009, before many of you were part of our community. In fact, the blog wasn't even a year old yet. So today I'm re-sharing, because this is for all of you, and it's my heart.
---
Ode To My Readers
Oh writers all, who browse this blog
And read its rambling prose,
Who share with me the ups and downs
Of writers' joys and woes;
I raise my feathered hat to you
For all that you have shared --
Your thoughts, your hearts, your manuscripts
(For those of you who've dared).
You've bared your souls and shared your dreams
And asked your questions, too;
I count myself so fortunate
To walk this path with you.
For writing is a solitary,
Lonely sort of thing,
Despite the satisfaction
And the pleasure it may bring.
So reaching out across the miles
Of crowded cyberspace
To touch the lives of other scribes
With neither voice nor face
Is something that we dearly need,
To keep our muses fed,
To offer up encouragement
When hope is nearly dead,
To shout "Hooray!" at each success
And "Boo!" when things go wrong,
To lovingly point out that excess
Adverbs don't belong.
So join me while I celebrate
The gift of knowing you,
And thank you all for coming here
And doing what you do.
You're strong, you're brave, you're talented --
Keep going, never doubt!
For living life with passion
Is what life is all about.
At any rate, I wrote this in February, 2009, before many of you were part of our community. In fact, the blog wasn't even a year old yet. So today I'm re-sharing, because this is for all of you, and it's my heart.
---
Ode To My Readers
Oh writers all, who browse this blog
And read its rambling prose,
Who share with me the ups and downs
Of writers' joys and woes;
I raise my feathered hat to you
For all that you have shared --
Your thoughts, your hearts, your manuscripts
(For those of you who've dared).
You've bared your souls and shared your dreams
And asked your questions, too;
I count myself so fortunate
To walk this path with you.
For writing is a solitary,
Lonely sort of thing,
Despite the satisfaction
And the pleasure it may bring.
So reaching out across the miles
Of crowded cyberspace
To touch the lives of other scribes
With neither voice nor face
Is something that we dearly need,
To keep our muses fed,
To offer up encouragement
When hope is nearly dead,
To shout "Hooray!" at each success
And "Boo!" when things go wrong,
To lovingly point out that excess
Adverbs don't belong.
So join me while I celebrate
The gift of knowing you,
And thank you all for coming here
And doing what you do.
You're strong, you're brave, you're talented --
Keep going, never doubt!
For living life with passion
Is what life is all about.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Bonus Babies
One final birthday huzzah for MSFV!
I so loved the idea of babies on my blog (oh, those tiny agents!) that I also asked some of my critique partners to send in their baby pictures. And they were happy to oblige!
(I would have invited Adam Heine, except that he's a, yanno, boy. Kind of a dead giveaway.)
The gals here have mightily impacted my writing, my journey, or both. Your job is to guess WHO IS WHO.
Each author has graciously offered a prize to the winner, which will be drawn at random from all guesses beneath each photo. So if you guess 5 times, you have 5 chances to win.
THE NAMES:
Holly Bodger (a 3-chapter critique)
Julie Butcher-Fedynich (a 3-chapter critique)
Jodi Meadows (something yarny or a 30-page critique; winner's choice)
Beth Revis (a signed copy of Shades of Earth -- US only)
Authoress (a 30-minute voice chat to discuss your writing/career)
You don't have to guess correctly to win; all winners will be drawn randomly.
And yes, it's true. You're seeing my face for the first time. Albeit my tiny, doesn't-look-anything-like-authoress face. But it's a start.
Have fun! Voting will close at the end of the day Thursday; I'll announce winners next Tuesday.
I so loved the idea of babies on my blog (oh, those tiny agents!) that I also asked some of my critique partners to send in their baby pictures. And they were happy to oblige!
(I would have invited Adam Heine, except that he's a, yanno, boy. Kind of a dead giveaway.)
The gals here have mightily impacted my writing, my journey, or both. Your job is to guess WHO IS WHO.
Each author has graciously offered a prize to the winner, which will be drawn at random from all guesses beneath each photo. So if you guess 5 times, you have 5 chances to win.
THE NAMES:
Holly Bodger (a 3-chapter critique)
Julie Butcher-Fedynich (a 3-chapter critique)
Jodi Meadows (something yarny or a 30-page critique; winner's choice)
Beth Revis (a signed copy of Shades of Earth -- US only)
Authoress (a 30-minute voice chat to discuss your writing/career)
You don't have to guess correctly to win; all winners will be drawn randomly.
And yes, it's true. You're seeing my face for the first time. Albeit my tiny, doesn't-look-anything-like-authoress face. But it's a start.
Have fun! Voting will close at the end of the day Thursday; I'll announce winners next Tuesday.
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