Super Critique!

First of all, bravo!  The EXPLOSIONS round offered some excellent critique to its participants.  To all of you who took the time to leave feedback--thank you.

We've chatted in the past about the participation in critique rounds and the ratio of people-who-critique to people-who-don't.  Here are some stats for you to chew on:

• 49 people critiqued during this round.
• The breakdown of the critiques is as follows:
• 28 - 1  (Thank you,  Leah Petersen!)
• 24 - 1  (Thank you, sbibb!)
• 20 - 1  (Thank you, Michael Wulf!)
• 15 - 1  (Thank you, Barbara!)
• 14 - 2  (Thank you, MMChandler and Rebecca M!)
• 13 - 1  (Thank you, Anonymous!) (Grr.)
• 9 - 1  (Thank you, Jodi Meadows!)
• 8 - 1  (Thank you, Danielle La Paglia!)
• 7 - 4
• 6 - 5
• 5 - 7
• 4 - 8
• 3 - 3
• 2 - 2
• 1 - 11
• The total number of unique visitors during the peak critique days was 1,295.
• Which means that not-quite-4% of the total number of viewers over those 3 days actually left a critique.  (And since several critiques continued to filter in over the weekend, the actual percentage is smaller than that.)

Taking into account the fact that it's perfectly okay for people to read our critique rounds without participating every single time, I am admittedly discouraged by such a low percentage of participants.  What I haven't done (because, seriously, who has the time?) is to cross-reference the screen names of the critiques with the screen names of the 30 participants.  Because, without taking the time to make a detailed comparison, I don't know how many of the 49 critters were participants in the round.

(Who, as you know, are politely requested to leave critique for a minimum of 5 other entries.  In order to give back.)

Anyway, it's on the table now.  What I really want to say is this:  If you are not critiquing because you are afraid you have nothing positive to offer, please think again.  Critiquing is a LEARNED SKILL.  You will not learn how to do it--and learn to be confident in your ability--if you don't try.  And I would hope that this blog, above all, would be a safe place for you to flex your critiquing muscles.

The first manuscript I ever critiqued belonged to Jodi Meadows.  TALK ABOUT SCARY.  The gal was lightyears ahead of me in just about everything, and she had recently pulverized-I-mean-critiqued one of my manuscripts, which had left me feeling a bit "I Suck At This".  But if I hadn't jumped in, offering my critique as though it mattered, I wouldn't have begun to grow my wings.  I did have something to offer.  It was a start, at any rate.  And we all need a start.

Let MSFV be your starting place.  A wing factory, as it were.

And, full disclosure:  This critique round was peppered with at least 3 published authors and 2 of my beloved critique partners.  And me.  (If you received critique from "Just Me", that was me.  I didn't play favorites; I chose 5 entries that had fewer critiques than some of the others.)

So there you have it -- dissection of a critique round!  There were fewer entries, so it was a good time to do this.

Thanks again to everyone who participated!  The quality of the critiques was high; I hope that the participants have found it helpful.

Love you guys!  (Truly!)

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #30

TITLE: The Con of War
GENRE: YA Science Fantasy

Domino is prisoner aboard Anturo's airship. The explosion is from his sister Yula, who was trying to protect their city from Anturo's army. Meka = mecha.

The second explosion was much bigger than the first. When the shockwave struck the airship, the gondola pitched backward, sending table and papers flying. The crew either grabbed hold of what they could or else fell to the floor.

When the gondola leveled out, every man rushed to the windows to see what had happened. They shared a suffocating silence of disbelief. Where once there'd been an army, there was now a wedge of scorched earth a kilo long on either side. Outlines of fallen horses and men dotted the outer edge. A few still moved farther from the blast, but inside the wedge there was nothing. Not bodies, not ash.

Nothing.

At the source of the explosion were a small round crater and the husks of two mekas. Even from here, Domino could see the meka that had fired the blast was different from the ones Anturo had brought with him.

Yula.

He watched a long time, hoping the machine would move, or someone would emerge from it, but it was as dead as the army it had destroyed.

"You knew . . ." Anturo's words sounded a long way off.

Ko was supposed to help Yula. She was supposed to be okay.

From the same distance as Anturo's words came the metal scrape of a sword pulled from its sheath. Domino turned, but everything was blurred by tears. He recognized the sword over Anturo's head too late.

"You knew!" The sword swiped through the air. Domino shut his eyes, feeling a wind brush his cheek, hearing the sword strike his bones.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #29

TITLE: PLAY FOR PANIC
GENRE: YA Magical Realism

Sami recently learned she has power to neutralize Aquamarine—the magic extracted from the gemstone that had given her athleticism yet destroyed her musical skills and threatened her life. She strips magic from the rock/gemstone while playing her piano.


Tiny blue sparks appear when my fingertips touch the keys, as if I’m trapping a lightning bug with each note. Tiny blue sparks—just like those which appeared whenever I set or spiked a volleyball fueled by Aquamarine. Although I’m startled enough to stop playing, I keep going, reveling in the electrifying burn that zings my artistic talent back to my hands, my soul. A laugh escapes me as chords ripple up and down the scales, as if I have four hands. It’s nothing like what it used to be. That natural high I remember from our apartment in Manhattan is nothing compared to this.

It’s almost magical.

It’s the cracking sound that stops me, as if a ceramic pot has dropped from the second story onto a tile floor. My hands fly from the keyboard on reflex, and I scramble off the bench—fearing irrationally the piano might topple on top me. My white hot fingertips graze my neck as my heart pounds in my chest. I know what’s happened. My eyes go to where I rested the rock atop the piano, and although I knew something would happen, the sight in itself stops my breath.

The rock is cracked open, spilling brilliant blue crystals in a messy pile. The crystals reflect the fluorescent piano light, sending laser-like arcs across the room. All kinds of blues: pale, rich, turquoise, azure, periwinkle, sapphire, indigo.

Aquamarine.

I breathe it in, this glorious light, energized by it.

But, how do I know it worked? The only test I could think of is too dangerous, and yet...

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #28

TITLE: Kasmir
GENRE: MG Fantasy

Liz, a young girl who was trained as a warrior for this purpose, prepares to fight the Great Dragon. She is standing at the entrance to its cave and must draw it out.

As quickly and silently as she could she lowered her sword to the ground and took a small, lumpy package from her belt. This was the most nerve-racking part of her plan. When face to face with the dragon she would be prepared to fight, but now she felt her vulnerability keenly. Her hands trembled as she pulled two stones and a small leather pouch out of the bag. The pouch had a piece of cloth poking out. It was wet with a concoction of her own making. Holding the stones next to the cloth she struck. Nothing. Glancing nervously at the cave entrance she struck again. A small spark flew from the stones, hit the fabric, and grew into a flame. Liz held her breath. It was working. She grabbed the pouch and flung it into the dragon’s home.

For a moment nothing happened. The mountain itself seemed to hold its breath. Then there was the sound of a small explosion and smoke billowed from the cavern’s mouth. Moments later an inhuman screech ripped through the air. The warrior snatched up her sword and ran across the clearing. She had only moments. Halfway across she stopped, turned, and raised her blade. Blinding streaks of fire tore through the thick cloud of smoke. That wasn’t her fire. In one great burst of fury the beast emerged. Its reptilian body writhing with rage, it flung its head into the sky and let out a roar that made the whole mountain tremble.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #27

TITLE: Overland
GENRE: YA International Thriller

Teenagers Tana and Obax live at a secret research institute in the Andes, but today have ventured to a nearby mountain village on an errand. The institute usually gets a monthly supply drop by plane, which Tana believes she is witnessing from the village.

I glance up in time to see the plane bank in an arc overhead and double back toward the Institute. Strange; it must have missed its drop target the first time. As it cuts around the promontory and disappears, I try to recall whether I’ve ever seen a supply plane fly over twice before. I’ve watched a fair few of them do their drops from the Obs window, and I can’t remember ever seeing one circle back like this.

Also, I realize with a jolt, I’ve never seen a silver one before. Our supply planes have always been black.

Something isn’t right.

I break into a sprint toward the boulders, shouting for Obax. I try to listen for the sound of her calling back, but all I can hear now is the plane’s drone and the whistle of the wind—and then, moments later, a different kind of whistle.

The ground shudders underneath me as the bomb hits, the boom of the explosion echoing over and over through the mountains. My feet stumble and I find myself on my knees in the damp pasture, looking up at the too-blue sky as a thick plume of fire and smoke rises over the crests of the hills. The hills that, until today, have kept our home so well hidden from outsiders.

“NO!” I feel the scream burst from my throat, but I can’t hear it.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #26

TITLE: Buddy
GENRE: MG Contemporary

The narrator is a foster child living with a quirky farm family. The old uncle, Miracle, has decided to eliminate a troublesome catfish he’s dubbed Ol’ Bugeye from the pond. Ralph and Susan are the parents, and Vicky is a young female member of the family.


We arrived at the pond as a geyser of water shot high into the air around a lone figure. My mouth went dry as the water rained down on him and the boat rocked violently. He was going to blow himself to bits!

“Miracle!” called Ralph. His calm voice was raised to be heard across the water. “Cut that out and get back here. It’s time for supper.”

“Then eat,” yelled Miracle. He threw something out into the water. The explosion was followed by another huge geyser.

Susan called, “You’re going to get hurt, Miracle, and you’re killing all the fish.”

“They’re not dead,” he replied. “Just stunned. I’ll stop as soon as I find Ol’ Bugeye.”

Vicky nudged my arm. “Look,” she whispered.

I pulled my gaze from Miracle and followed her pointing finger. Small waves lapped at the edge of the bank from the dynamite blasts further out. They made happy little sucking sounds. Then I saw what was happening in the water, and the sound changed to something sinister and gross.

Miracle was wrong. Fish were floating up everywhere. They were all different sizes and colors. But they all had one thing in common. They all looked dead as they slowly circled around in the water, their blank eyes and ghostly white bellies reflecting the sun’s rays like gruesome jewels. It was like watching some bizarre dance ritual of the dead.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #25

TITLE: Darkdust
GENRE: YA Science Fiction

Adelaide has been kidnapped and is trapped on a broken spaceship. She's hiding inside the shuttle bay when she finds an explosive device ready to detonate. Just as the countdown finishes, she leaps off a catwalk to the main floor. Boom.

Pain knifes up my hip, my elbow, my shoulder.

The world above me is on fire, and everything is dead silent except for the shrill ringing that seems to come from within me.

I'm on my back, head throbbing as a ball of flame expands and disintegrates the ramp I was just on. If I hadn't jumped, I'd be a pile of charred bones.

Hot air dries my eyes and sears my lungs. I gasp for breath, cough, and gasp again. I can't get enough air.

Air.

Fire burns oxygen.

I roll onto my hands and knees, dizzy with every motion, and scan the walls for the bay door and freedom. Protocol on any ship is to seal the room, remove the atmosphere, and let the fire smother. The rest of the ship's life support won't be affected.

If I don't escape, I'll smother, too.

The LEDs bleed into warning-red and the bay door begins to slide closed. Coughing, I struggle to my feet and stumble as quickly as I can.

The ringing in my head is distracting, and everything is blurry. My vision tunnels and I can't be sure if I'm putting my feet on the ground or flying somehow.

Every breath tastes like smoke, and heat dries the back of my throat. I'll never again be able to breathe right.

As the door thuds closed, I slip out. Just in time.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #24

TITLE: Angel in the City
GENRE: NA Urban Fantasy

Twenty-two-year-old Jamie Price is a Knight-in-Training covering all of Manhattan for Sigrun, a honest to god, or maybe gods, Valkyrie from Asgard. In a constant battle against the darkness, their latest venture has led them to the sewers in hopes of rescuing a little girl who has been dragged down there by the ghouls who have nested below New York.


“Crap!” My optimism fell and sunk quickly, disappearing into the mire that surrounded me. Turning around, which may I say is freakin' hard when you are standing thigh deep in sludge, I drew my specially-designed, automatic crossbow with exploding bolts, and opened fire at the dark silhouette that had just rounded the corner.

The bolt exploded on impact and as the flash of light dissipated, the body fell with a muted splash only to be replaced by ten times the number of dark forms, their eyes and teeth glinting in the remnants of light left from the blast. I fired a few more rounds, felling the ones who had recently appeared, and taking out a wide expanse of the nearly ancient brick wall that lined the sewer.

Using the light and smoke as a screen, I turned around and began running, fairly sure there weren’t enough bolts in the chamber, or possibly even the city, to incapacitate all of them.

The noise grew louder and louder as more of the creatures gave chase, alerted by both the sound and the scent of their fallen comrades. Of course, I highly doubted any of them were dead. A few explosions, flashes of light and a ton of mortar and brick were barely enough to subdue a ghoul, much less kill it. Nonetheless, it was in my best interest to get the hell out of there as fast as I could.

Luckily, I didn’t have far to travel.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #23

TITLE: Ari's Traveling Rat Spa
GENRE: YA Fiction

Seventeen-year-old Ari has just painstakingly set up a room and all her research to prepare for an important meeting which may decide whether or not she can resume operating her traveling rat spa. She’s in her van, waiting for the meeting to start, at the beginning of this scene.

There’s a loud BOOM and my van rocks sideways. I grip the steering wheel, worried about an earthquake, although those are uncommon in the Central Valley. But after the initial boom and rocking, the world is still again. A fire alarm blares, quickly followed by sirens from the nearby fire department.

What happened? Whatever it is, it can’t be good.

I clamber from the van, hugging the folder to my chest. After wading through a mass of onlookers, I reach the front steps of Town Hall, where many of the workers have gathered.

Frankie is standing on the steps, wringing his hands. I bound up to him. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“No, I mean, I’m fine. The building was firebombed.”

“What about my hearing? Can I still do it?”

He keeps wringing his hands.

“Frankie, snap out of it!” I wave my folder in his face. “My hearing!”

“The meeting room was the focus of the bombing,” he says.

“You mean…all the stuff I set up in there, all the research I did…”

“Whatever didn’t burn is soaked.”

I walk back toward the parking lot in a daze.

Jameson was right. It isn’t always about winning and losing. Sometimes it’s about not even getting the chance to compete.

A couple of firefighters are talking when I walk past.

“A Molotov cocktail,” one says. “Right through that window— pyeeeeew.” She makes the kind of sound effect I’d expect to hear on a primary school playground.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #22

TITLE: Evenwood
GENRE: YA SciFi

Opener for a SciFi YA story. The location is the "Safe Zone," where people reside after they pledge non-involvement from a centuries old revolutionary war.

The entire house shook from a forceful blast. The bed upended, throwing Jerymy across the room to find himself face-flat on the floor.

What’s going on? That’s not supposed to happen not here. We’re in the Safe Zone!

“Dad!” He reached out to grab the beeping game toy laying near him and clutched his father’s gift tightly to his chest. A blinding burnt-orange glare consumed his room from a second explosion that blew out his bedroom windows. He drew himself into a ball to cover his head against flying glass.

“Dad!”

Unworldly sirens wailed in the near distance; remorseful banshees awakened from a long, fitful slumber.

What’s happening? Has someone broken their vow? His father had promised that no one would ever do that. Ever.

That thought brought an icy fear to his heart. He stared at the forbidden toy in his hand his father brought from the mainworlds. Could it be because of his father?  Did this mean the end to everything his family believed in because of a toy? He scrambled to his feet and raced toward the bedroom door. “Dad!”

BLAM!

Jerymy’s head jerked to one side as if someone had banged him with a hot iron skillet and his small world went dark.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #21

TITLE: Sustenance
GENRE: YA Speculative

Quinn, who has sneaked out of Centrix, is staying with Kalan's family. Earlier, she and Kalan argued. Now she has come to apologize--but she stops just outside his bedroom when she overhears a conversation with his brother Tanner.


“There’s no other way,” Tanner says. “And if you try to stop her, she’ll go running straight to Lem. He’ll be happy to send her back.”

Kalan makes a disgusted sound in his throat. “I wish he’d never stopped by.”

“You can’t just keep her hidden.”

“Well, I’m going to have to do something,” Kalan says. “Because there’s no way she’s going back to Centrix.”

My heart is pounding and my jaw aches from clenching my teeth. I am about to blow into the room and tell Kalan exactly what I think of his plan when I hear a loud crash from the other end of the hallway.

My room.

As I turn to look through my doorway, an explosion rocks the house and sends me stumbling against the wall. My bedroom is engulfed in flames.



11.

Kalan and Tanner burst from their room as I find my balance, Kalan’s expression bathed in horror. Then he sees me, and his arms go round me as naturally as if we’ve always known each other.

“Are you okay?”

I nod, unable to speak. Dillon and Lydia come running; I hear Rose calling to the younger children, herding them out of the house.

“Quinn, get outside,” Dillon says. “Boys, let’s go.”

In a daze, I back out of the hallway, watching as Dillon hands Kalan a large, black cylinder and yells for Tanner to grab the cylinder out back and work from the outside. Tanner almost runs me over on his way.

“Get out of the house!” he yells, pulling me by the arm until I follow him.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #20

TITLE: MUTINY ON THE NAPOLEON
GENRE: SF

Space pirates escaping with contraband on board are being fired on by a warship from the planet below.


“Hang on, we’re going to crash,” Tobias said bracing himself and cutting power.

Mac grabbed the sides of the seat as the horizon loomed in front of them. She shut her eyes waiting for the crash. A careening whine made her open her eyes again.

“Incoming,” Zav shouted as the Demiatrix shuttle gained on them. A blast of gunfire shot past them.

“If they hit us, we’re goners,” Donel put in. Mac stared at him. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.

A large expanse of sand loomed ahead of them. To the right, Mac spotted a small grove of trees, or what looked like trees. “There, to the right,” she indicated. “Make for the grove, at least we won’t be out in the open.” Tobias turned the shuttle and flew toward the trees.

Unfortunately the Demiatrix shuttle fired on them at the same time and they began to careen out of control directly toward the trees at full speed.

Tobias was no longer in the pilot's seat and she heard a sickening sound of metal being twisted in ways it wasn’t supposed to be twisted in. She smelled something burning and felt the front of the shuttle collapse like a day-old pastry as it smacked against a tree. Intense brief pain caused Mac to scream before everything went black.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #19

TITLE: Denali in Hiding
GENRE: YA Science Fiction

Denali must use her telekinesis to stop or deflect a pipe bomb.

I sensed it first, the bomb, or rather, a sack full of materials. It was outside, hurtling toward the window. I sensed the shards of glass in the window split and crackle and scatter. Pieces pierced my arms. The blood splattered and spilled. The pain was pleasantly distracting. I tried to think about the parts in the bomb. I tried to separate them and defuse it. But I wasn’t fast enough.

It exploded, pieces longing to be free, shrapnel from the pipe bursting forth. It was so powerful, I had trouble stopping it, but just like when I practiced, it was like I was able to slow time, I was able to feel the pieces. But it was weird, because it felt like there was an additional tug on them. It felt like when I practiced with Declan. It was as though the pieces had plans of their own, independent of me, independent of gravity. In the slow motion I realized what was happening. Tom was controlling the fragments. And he was making them miss almost everyone. The bits of glass from the window splayed everywhere. But the larger pieces from the bomb were controlled. They missed people, or glided along forearms and thighs. Minor injuries.

Except for one piece: a sharp nail. I felt the extra power behind it. But I was able to overcome Tom’s force. I was able to stop it from slicing into Dr. Larsson’s neck.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #18

TITLE: The GAP Project
GENRE: Sci-Fi Suspense

Ginny Carrera discovers she’s genetically engineered, and she’s been sold to the highest bidder. In this scene, Toby another GAP, has gone after the man who sold her. She knows the senator is blowing the compound and wants to get there and get Toby out before it blows.

She was only a block away when the ground buckled and a wall of propulsion threw her back. Lying on the sidewalk, her brain scrambled. Waves of energy forced debris past where she huddled, and the sky – darkening from the encroaching storm before – took on a gray cast. Clouds of ash, particle, and cinder formed above the space where the warehouse used to be. The heat was a fever that took over everything in the surrounding area, melting trees, plants, parking meters, benches. The acrid smell burned her sinuses.

After another small explosion, the area grew still. She tried to sit but pain, fire-hot and unrelenting, pushed her back. Sounds began to invade, but they were distant as if she were underwater. Voices, screams and chatter, sirens, all signs that something horrific had gone down. Tiny slivers covered her, glistening in the remaining light. Glass. And blood. How long before her system healed? There was no tingling yet. No stretching of the skin. Perhaps, this time the damage was too extensive.

Her cheeks felt wet. She looked up expecting to see rain, but the clouds were still holding onto their moisture, reluctant to share. It was coming from her. Swiping her face with her hand, it came away wet. She was crying.

A man knelt beside her. His lips moved but the sound was so muted she had no idea what he said. She tried to read his lips; but he suddenly pulled back, staring at her, stunned.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #17

TITLE: LIMITLESS
GENRE: YA Scifi

Cassie and Luka, a member of an alien species known as megobari, have just ejected from the megobarian ship Pilgrimage, crash landing on an uninhabitable moon. The Pilgrimage is being attacked by a rival alien species, the vrag. Luka's entire family is on board.


Then I saw it: the megobarian ship, racing across the sky like a white comet, trailing fire and debris.

It wasn't alone. A massive shadow dwarfed the Pilgrimage like something out of a nightmare.

The Pilgrimage couldn't possibly get away. It descended low into the atmosphere, growing larger and circling back towards us.

The vrag ship didn't change course. They knew the megobari had nowhere to go.

"No, no, no," Luka whispered. "What are you doing?"

"They're headed straight for it." I couldn't breathe. "Oh, my God, they're doing it on purpose. They’re going to ram the vrag ship."

He sprang forward, as if he could reach out and physically stop it with his bare hands. "No. Don't you dare. Don't you dare!"

The vrag ship opened fire.

Bursts of fire lit the sky like daylight, shrapnel dripping from hunks of molten metal. The little white ship shattered into pieces.

The vrag ship hovered momentarily, making sure its quarry was dead. Then it disappeared again into the black.

The shockwave rippled over us a few seconds later, blowing chunks of rock against my helmet and knocking on my back.

The broken pieces of the Pilgrimage seemed to hover in the sky, falling too slowly into the weak gravity well of Aran.

"Escape pods," I whispered. "Do you...do you see any?"

Luka acted like he hadn't heard me. But then his hand reached up, activating his comm. Listened.

I waited, shaking, as burning debris fell over Luka's head like a halo of hell.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #16

TITLE: The War of the Worlds and Fairies
GENRE: Science Fiction

In this mashup of The War of the Worlds, ASHLEY is a fairy who has grown to human size. She and her friend VIOLET are fleeing to the Thames, accompanied by an artilleryman named CUTTER. They passed some artillery guns on the way.


The ground heaved under my feet.

My wings stirred beneath my blouse, an instinctive reaction to keep my balance. I grabbed someone I thought was Cutter, and that’s how I’m sure of my memory—the vibration through solid ground arrived before the huge explosion that boomed through the air a heartbeat later.

Violet had latched onto Cutter with both hands, fingernails digging in. I looked at the man I had mistakenly grabbed and hoped he hadn’t noticed any stirring beneath my clothes. “I beg your pardon.”

“There they are!” The man pointed. He wore a nice knitted vest, otherwise I could have thought of him as a whaler in Moby Dick spotting a pod of whales, his voice carried so. “Yonder! D’you see? Yonder, yonder!”

Ascending above the treetops, a great cloud of black smoke stained the blue sky—not from normal cannon fire, more like what happened to Cutter when all the powder went off at once and destroyed his gun. Now Cutter himself looked back, his face frozen in anxiety—except for a nervous tic that passed over his left eye.

“Oh heavens!” My hands clawed the air. “All those men—their guns!”

Below the black cloud, through flat meadows and trees that now looked small, a cowled figure strode in a rolling motion. Glittering in the sun, it was a Martian war machine approaching the river. Approaching us.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #15

TITLE: The Skylark's Song
GENRE: YA Steampunk Action/Adventure

Robin is a steampunk vigilante named The Skylark. She is attempting her first bit of terrorist espionage in an enemy ammunitions factory. When she is caught, she creates an explosion to cover her escape. WINGS is her rocket pack – Weaponized Individual NaviGation System.


Robin slammed her hand down on the ignition and shot into the air. She ducked around the catwalk and burst out of the roof hatch just as the first warning rumble echoed through the factory. It was followed seconds later by a resounding boom that shook the sky, and Robin.

She tumbled through the air, swung around for counterbalance, and managed to find her equilibrium in time to pull up and keep from smashing into the ledge of somebody's roof. What she didn't manage to avoid was their laundry line.

WINGS caught on the thick cord and Robin whipped around. She swiped at the control box, cutting thrust, and came to rest a foot off the roof.

The ragged hem of the end of her braid tickled her nose. The rest was trapped in the line, tugging painfully at her scalp, cords coiled around her knees and elbows. She felt, all told, utterly ridiculous.

She tried wriggling, but it only seemed to make the tangle squeeze tighter, pinning her arms to her sides at the elbows. In the distance, the factory was belching great fireballs into the air, lighting up the night like a holiday celebration and spewing great clouds of black smoke and ash. Robin hoped all the men had gotten out. Her worry was muted by a surge of fierce joy a second later.

I did it!

Her first mission was, all told, a complete and perfect success. Except for the part where she was stuck upside down like a pheasant in a snare.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #14

TITLE: Heart of Gears
GENRE: Alternate History

Liliven and Altea are at a ball celebrating the Queen’s return. Altea is a rebel and Liliven the princess, but the two girls have joined forces to prove to the royalty that although a nearby land has just been conquered, the rebels are not giving up the fight for freedom.

“How are you, Altea?” Liliven spoke softly but she needn’t have worried about being overheard, as despite the fact the Queen was addressing the crowd, those around the princess continued to whisper to one another. Briefly, she wondered if they did the same every time she was forced to address them, then decided she didn’t care.

Altea smiled. “I’m well. And you, Liliven?”

The princess grinned. “I believe tonight will be stupendous.”

Not a heartbeat after the words left her mouth, an explosion knocked everyone off their feet. Liliven covered her head with her arms, but she and Altea had dropped a second before the others and thus gone unharmed. Now, they grinned at each other from under the forts their arms made, as the dust and rock settled, and the smoke wafted through the hole that had been blasted through the wall. Mist from the cloudfalls drifted into the room, coating everyone inside with its chilled droplets.

As the heads of the guests lifted, their eyes locked onto the snapping banner draped across the hole to the outside. The three rebels who had hung it were long gone. It was midnight blue, with white letters that spelled out a clear message:

Down With The Tyranny…But We’ll Give Them A Head Start.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #13

TITLE: Fractured Skies
GENRE: YA/NA Science Fiction

Jenna and her team are trying to make a quick escape through an air battlefield without getting caught in the crossfire.

To my right, a cluster of dark wisps disappeared through the center of a large, OA carrier ship. A red beam of light shot through its hull, stretching outward until fire exploded from inside. Jack cursed as I dropped the jet into a nose-dive and vertigo rushed through me. I banked a hard left, and we were back in sky.

Jack gripped the edge of his seat, sitting back as far as he could. “Ahead!”

A red beam split through the largest of the COE command vessels.

Exploded.

Fire erupted from the windows, smoke billowing. A dark object spun our way--

One of the airship’s rotors had dislodged from the wing. I thrust the lever as far as it would go, heart pounding. We careened through a pillar of flame. Metal chunks crashed against the front window and wings. Warnings beeped on the console, and the jet wavered, nearly impossible to control as flames crackled around us.

We plummeted into a smokey haze and the sky merged with the trees. Frantic, I searched out the lever. The ground raced toward me, red lines of the jet wavering.

Up! We needed to go up!

The jet lurched, crashing through the upper layer of branches, and then we were back in the air. I guided us under an OA helicopter, soaring past mechs.

Free sky. Bright with dawn’s light, clear of smoke and debris. The helicopters, dozens of them with red dragonfly symbols, flocked against the clouds. I gasped for breath, dizzy, but the worst was over. Behind us, smoke and fire marred the dark, western sky. Lightning crackled in the distance, mixed with flashes from the battle’s explosions.

Drop the Needle: EXPLOSIONS! #12

TITLE: Lord Randolph and the Witch
GENRE: Fantasy/Romance

Valentina Roselli’s off-the-grid summer hideaway in Nova Scotia has, unknown to her, been transported to an alternate earth where magic works. A group of locals think she is a witch and show up with a knight and his sergeant to burn her out. The house is entirely powered by a 500-gallon propane tank. It’s on fire.


Valentina had no idea if one hundred yards would be enough if the tank exploded. Kneeing Brownie she got him trotting, then galloping away from the burning shriek behind her. The heat penetrated even through the heavy denim shirt.

A patch of brown homespun caught her attention as she galloped toward safety. Lying in the dirt was the man Brownie had kicked. Damn. She pulled the horse to a reluctant halt and turned. She couldn't leave the man, even if he had tried to kill her; it was far too close to the fire.

He lay sprawled, not much more than a kid, really, eyes staring blindly at the blue sky. A trickle of blood, already dry, leaked from the corner of his mouth. He was obviously dead. She shook her head and turned the horse back toward safety, kneed him…

A savage slam drove the air from her lungs, bugged her eyes open. A thunderclap of sound deafened her. The shockwave passed, flicking a line of dirt and vegetation along the ground as it traveled toward the group ahead of her. She saw it hit, jerking them like puppets, bowling some over.

She screamed along with the horse as the fireball overtook them, yellow tendrils curled around, engulfing them. She burned. Her back was on fire. Brownie reared and took off running. Valentina felt herself start to slip and she kicked her feet from the stirrups.

The ground came up to meet her and the world went black.