IMPORTANT: On Critting Etiquette

There's a whole lot of WONDERFUL critting going on here today, and most of you don't need to read this.

When you're leaving critique for someone, please don't say things like "I WOULD NEVER BUY THIS BOOK."

Just -- don't.  That's not what we're asking here.  We're asking for helpful, tactful feedback.  Okay?

I'm deleting anything that I deem harsh.  And "honest" is NOT the same as "harsh."

You know I'm all about "honest."

Okay, public service announcement over.  *Mother Hen steps away from the podium*

Submission Tidbits

You may or may not know that I take the month of June off from Secret Agent contests. So it's a good time to point out a couple things.

• Make sure your word count is appropriate for your genre. Honestly, this is something I've never thought about. I assumed it wouldn't be a problem. However, sometimes it CAN be. Like, if you win a contest, submit your material to the Secret Agent, and your word count is wonky. (You can't call a 23,ooo-word manuscript a "YA novel," for instance. Because it's not.)
• If you win a contest, PLEASE FOLLOW THE SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS YOU RECEIVE IN MY EMAIL. These instructions may or may not be the same as the agent's normal submission procedure (and most likely they're different). Also? If I tell you to put "SECRET AGENT WINNER" in the subject line and you don't do it, your submission will get submerged in the slush. Most of the time, the Secret Agents WANT to give your manuscript speedier attention. So don't blow your chance by not following directions.
• And as always, if your manuscript is not finished, PLEASE DO NOT ENTER A SECRET AGENT CONTEST. We have plenty of in-house crits for works-in-progress. Enter those. The Secret Agent contests are meant for completed, query-ready manuscripts.
• Oh. And please (PLEASE! PLEASE!) pay attention to each month's genres. This is one thing my super-bot can't do without my intervention--namely, weed out the wrong genres. Trying to "slip in" a manuscript that doesn't match what I've called for will only, ultimately, make you look...um, less than brilliant. Because even if I miss it, the Secret Agent won't. (I mean, if you were an agent who only repped children's literature, would you want to waste your time critiquing the opening of an adult novel? And do you think you WOULDN'T NOTICE that it wasn't a genre in which you were interested?)

Anyway. I felt like a non-SA month was a good time for some house business. None of the above are directed at anyone particular. They are simply a result of Secret Agent behind-the-scenes comments and my own experiences with managing the contests.

Throw me your comments and questions! It's a great time for me to answer them.

Some Clarification, With Love

Rest assured that, once my brandnewshiny blog is up and running next year, all the information you need will be at your cute lil' fingertips. In the meantime, I'm going to answer a couple of questions that were posed to me via email, since the answers are something you'll all benefit by hearing.

1. Concerning the 1000-Word critiques: I don't understand why people should redact and then resubmit, if entering the secret agent contests. Could you explain.

Yep. It isn't about agents or "getting discovered" or Authoress deciding to make life difficult. It's about time and effort sacrificed by the critters. And it's also about getting feedback on the same writing, twice. Close together.

When you enter your work into ANYTHING on this blog--contest or non-contest--you are receiving (hopefully valuable) feedback. If you enter a Secret Agent contest, get feedback, and then very next week the SAME WORK is posted in the 1000-word critique (albeit a slightly longer version), several things may happen:

• The same critters will leave the same feedback, which is useless to you as a writer.
• The critters will recognize the work and feel annoyed, and not leave any feedback, which is equally useless.
• The feedback you received during the Secret Agent contest will lead you to changes that will take longer to accomplish than the few days that will pass before your "number" comes up in the 1000-word critique.

So in REDACTING your spot in the 1000-word critique, you are allowing two things:

• You are allowing another aspiring author who has NOT had recent feedback to receive some.
• You are allowing YOURSELF time to make edits in your work, so that the feedback you eventually receive in the 1000-word critique is more relevant.

"But but but what if it's MONTHS before my 1000-word submission is posted??"

Well, it might be. Or it might not. The policy stands. In all things (and I really mean this) I strive for fairness. We ALL want our work read. We ALL crave helpful feedback. And with the limited slots available, we need to be gracious and patient and all that warm fuzzy stuff, for the sake of allowing as many folks as possible the opportunity for public critique.

2. You had a query contest, which basically focused on the query, the 250 were tacked on I believe for the agent's pleasure if she wanted to read more. Many of us aren't used to or need critique help with their queries and therefore entered hoping to learn from the process (I did). Basically, I don't see the logical correlation to the secret agent contests.

When did I promise to be logical? *grin*

Honestly, I've had lots of questions, via email and comment box, concerning the rules of re-submitting (for those of you who were in the query contest). My decisions have been based, once again, on fairness, and also on the genres represented by specific Secret Agents. The reason I restricted entry during the Ginger Clark round is because she represents fantasy and science fiction, which SCADS of you are writing. Uber-scads, even. And I wanted to make it a tiny bit easier for some new SF/F blood to get in the game.

This time around, we're dealing with a non-SF/F agent. Therefore, if you were in the query contest with Jodi Meadows and you would like to submit your work to next week's Secret Agent contest, you may do so.

In future, there will be no delineation between a Secret Agent contest and a Query contest (if I ever host another one). It's important for folks to step back so that others can step forward. Like a dance. Or a fencing match.

My closing remarks (and please don't take them amiss): The rules are the rules. They're given lots of thought, I promise. It's all about equity. And I don't mind clarifying things or reading suggestions from time to time. But in the end? The rules are the rules. I need you to honor them, abide by them. It will make everybody's ride that much smoother.

And if it makes you feel better? I have to follow them, too. Not that I could submit my work in a fair manner at this point! No, I've been sitting back WRITHING in my seat, dying to enter. Imagine the pain of missing out on comments from Ginger Clark (fantasy! sci/fi!) and KNOWING my loss. Imagine sitting on my hands while Lauren MacLeod (I LOVE this agent!) left her wonderful critiques.

I'm not whining. I'm just...saying. I strive for integrity. And I want all of you to have the best experience possible here.

That's it, really. That, and the fact that you're a stinkin' awesome group of writers. But I've told you that before.

On Reader Rants and Breaking the Rules

There's a reason I haunt the pages of my stat counters. I find links to blog posts like THIS. With a tip of the hat to Screaming Guppy.

Aside from colorful language choices that wouldn't find their way to my blog, I nod my head in emphatic agreement with the author. In fact, I had to chew the inside of my cheeks for a day or so before typing this. I didn't want anything to come out, yanno, overly snarky.

Because I love my blog readers. I do.

But I have to say this, so bear with me.

The inboxes of agents and editors are littered -- LITTERED -- with inappropriate queries. By "inappropriate" I mean unprofessional, unresearched, neophytic pieces of poo that SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN SENT.

No, really.

And because of this poo overflow, the professional, carefully researched queries are buried in the muck of why-did-I-take-this-agenting-job-in-the-first-place. Imagine, if you can, the difference between reading a good query with FRESH, INVIGORATED eyes, and reading a good query with TIRED, I'VE-READ-A-BOATLOAD-OF-CRAP-ALREADY eyes.

You KNOW not to send your query to an agent who doesn't represent your genre.

You KNOW not to send your query IF YOUR MANUSCRIPT ISN'T EVEN FINISHED YET.

And you KNOW that I trust you to follow the same rules on this blog. Not because I'm "special." Not because I want to be an agent when I grow up. (I don't.) But because IT'S THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE IN THE PUBLISHING WORLD.

If you think it's okay to bend (or ignore) the rules in a blog contest, might you be tempted to do the same when you start querying? Or have you (gasp!) already begun to do the same whilst querying?

If you think you're successfully sneaking in a snippet of your unfinished manuscript just because you're dying for some early feedback, might it have escaped you that YOUR FLOPPY WRITING WILL SHOW?

And if you somehow grab the attention of the Secret Agent with your UNFINISHED MANUSCRIPT, do you think the agent is going to break into an exuberant happy dance when you tell her you haven't actually finished the story yet?

My blog has an honor system attached to it. There is no way I can police you; no way I can determine whether your manuscript is actually finished when you decide to enter the contest. If you break that trust, make your own rules...well, I can't stop you.

But as a fellow writer, I've got to point out that this is So. Not. Cool.

Think about it. Most of my contests fill up within the first ten minutes or less. I have to turn people away -- people with POLISHED, FINISHED MANUSCRIPTS who deserve a chance to have their carefully edited, I've-followed-the-directions work seen by the Secret Agent. If you get in with your unfinished work or I've-fudged-the-genre-just-to-squeak-in excerpt, YOU HAVE TAKEN THE PLACE OF SOMEONE WHO QUALIFIED FOR IT.

And that's what happens in agent inboxes. Every time an aspiring author breaks a querying rule (if you don't know them, LEARN THEM), it takes valuable time and energy from the agent doing the reading. And the agents can't stop the behavior, either. They just keep wading through the poo.

My agent empathy level has risen exponentially. And I don't even have to send rejection letters.

Well, unless you count the horrid "I'm sorry, the contest is full" emails I need to send. HATE that. Really hate it.

So. Learn to follow the rules EVEN IN THE SMALL PLACES. Like here. If you can't do that, what's going to stop you from breaking the rules when you're ready for the big query leap?

Honor. Integrity. Professionalism. It's all a part of being someone WITH WHOM PEOPLE WANT TO WORK. And along with writing a great story, you need to be one of those people.

Feel free to purchase a copy of AGENT: DEMYSTIFIED right now, to assuage your guilt. And if you're not guilty, and haven't gotten your hands on a copy yet, grab it anyway. You'll be glad you did. It's agent-endorsed, reader-loved, and it's got my SECRET HISTORY in it. (No, not my name. Just my history.)

The collective potential here is ASTOUNDING. I mean that. And I want each of you to rise to your own. It's an honor to be a part of your daily blog reads and your journey toward publication. Step up, raise the bar, and be even better than your best.

The Birthing of a Blog

And so Miss Snark's First Victim is on the brink of metamorphosis, and you are all a part of it.

I started the blog less than a year ago. Little did I dream that it would grow so quickly. Indeed, in those first few months (as Karen Duvall has reminded me), I worried that I wouldn't get any response to my calls for submissions. And now I'm wringing my hands at having to turn people away.

Actually, I'm not a pushover. And the current situation has led me to the decision to keep all submissions to a maximum of 50 from now on. That'll be for Secret Agent contests and in-house critique sessions alike.

The reason I threw out the vote to the masses yesterday is because I felt as though I'd come off a bit wishy-washy at the front end. I didn't know what to expect, so I was reluctant to set a hard-and-fast number. I have several hundred new subscribers and daily hits way beyond where they used to be. I couldn't be sure if the new interest was mainly focused on the Secret Agents, or if it would bleed over into other things.

Well, it bled over.

I'm delighted! I love the fresh enthusiasm, the new "faces." This couldn't please me more.

What it means, though, is that I'm going to have to spend time sharpening everything up -- especially submission guidelines.

I appreciate the warmth and generosity of spirit that poured forth in the comment box yesterday. "Let 'em in!" "I'll critique twice as many!" That's the spirit that makes this community what it is.

Don't change.

The bottom line for me, however, is the wisdom in the following voices:

I would stop at 75. You have lots of chances for submissions. (Lady Glamis)

Close the gate. You need time for your own writing too. (Julie Butcher-Fedynich)

It's your show to run, and we abide by your rules. You're in threat of becoming a victim of your own success, and it's up to you to manage things...If you're going to allow these stragglers in, what will stop me from ignoring your instructions the next time?

You're the boss. It's nice to interact with your followers, but sometime you've got to take control. Maybe we will love you less (i doubt it) but we will surely respect you more for it. (Luc2)

I hear you. Your words resonate with the stuff of which I'm made. I'm going to have to run a tight ship, and the blog will be all the better for it.

I still have to send out "sorry-you-didn't-make-it" notices this morning. Submissions came in even after our comment box voting session. So yes, the boundaries have been set.

And I think you know that I wish everyone could be accommodated every time. Rest assured that there is a high likelihood that there will be a "next time" if you miss a current round.

There, I've said it all. For now. What an exciting time, though! I am truly celebrating what this blog has become, is becoming. My kernel of a vision for a Place For Writers is developing into something beyond the sum of its parts. It's humbling and exhilarating.

(Why can I never spell "exhilarating" right the first time?)

So thank you all. And make sure you've got food and drink stashed near your computer. We've got a truckload of chapter endings on their way!

New Rule For Secret Agent Contests

Most of you do not have to read this post.

Effective immediately: All critiques signed "Anonymous" will be deleted. If you do not want to use your real name (and, hey, who am I to argue?), please choose the third option in the comment box, which is "Name/URL." You are not required to enter a URL -- just a name will do. Any name. Something by which you can be identified and recognized on this blog.

Otherwise, your words will be zapped.

Are you dying to know why?

It seems one of our anonymous critters decided it was okay to make snarky comments in the Secret Agent's direction. Subtle, perhaps. Unnoticed by the masses, perhaps.

But noticed by Ms. Davies. And pointed out to me.

I was not amused.

While it's perfectly fine to disagree with the comments of our Secret Agent (agents are not, after all, demigods; you know this, of course, if you have read AGENT: DEMYSTIFIED), it is not perfectly fine to make disparaging, rude comments that dis our Secret Agent or agents in general.

Comments such as:

"For someone to say it's cliche is not overly smart." (Posted after our Secret Agent had pointed out a cliche.)

And...

"I think the problem with literary agents they forget who the audiences are. Now as far as getting an agent to open their [sic] eyes and use some brain cells, I don't know what to tell you."

Frankly, I'm appalled.

It's bad enough to spout negative comments toward an agent who is graciously giving us her time and expertise. To do so anonymously is cowardly to boot.

So. No more "Anonymous" in the signature lines, please.

The publishing biz is a "small world." If you're going to give yourself a reputation for snarkiness, be kind enough to attach your name to it. That way, the agents and publishers can give each other fair warning when you're walking their way.

Can you tell I have no patience for this? None.

As for our Secret Agent? Her main concern was that the Anonymous poster wasn't the same person she had chosen for her first place winner (she wasn't). Why? Well, who wants to work with someone who has just left a trail of rude, inappropriate comments? It isn't just about the writing. It's about whether you are someone an agent wants to work with.

Symbiotic, almost.

Ninety-nine percent of you would never dream of being rude to one of our Secret Agents. Ninety-nine percent of you need absolutely no reminders to be polite and helpful during your critiques. I have never felt the need to "police" you during our contests. This is truly one of the most amazing communities I've ever seen spring up online.

I mean that. And I hated having to write this.

So. Let's end on a positive note: I'm super excited about February's Secret Agent contest (okay, when am I not super excited about a Secret Agent contest?). And as for the remainder of January: We'll be having another First Chapter critique next week! So roll up your sleeves and get ready to dig into to another whole chapter.

Hugs and chocolate to you all.

Play Nice

This will (hopefully) be an interactive blog; a lively, give-and-take hangout for the scadzillion writers who, like me, want to be connected, ask questions, give feedback, help each other, laugh a little.

Please: No snarkies. When you leave comments -- especially comments about other people's writing -- be nice. A little tact goes a long way.

No spam. You will be annihilated without warning.

No disgusting language. We all have our limits.

"Disgusting," by the way, is subject to my opinion as the author of this blog.

When it comes to posting your submissions for critiques and contests, please understand that any language in your excerpt that I deem "unacceptable" for a PG audience will be edited with ***'s.

And please don't post the emails, phone numbers, or other personal information of agents or editors. They already receive a plentiful amount of unwanted correspondence; let's not encourage it here.

That's about it for now.

Oh, one more thing. Suggestions are good! Don't hesitate to send yours to facelesswords (at) gmail.com.