First Kiss Critique Guidelines

Happy Valentine's Day! Ready for some smooches?

The number of entries was way down, but that just gives each entrant an opportunity for more feedback yes? Please read these scenes for the following:

*BELIEVABILITY
*CHEMISTRY (between the two characters)
*PACING

No two kisses are equal, and everyone has different taste; however, a well-written kiss scene transcends all that--so let's help our fellow scribes get that smooch just right!

Guidelines for Critique on MSFV:

• Please leave your critique for each entry in the comment box for that entry.
• Please choose a screen name to sign your comments. The screen name DOES NOT have to be your real name; however, it needs to be an identifiable name.  ("Anonymous" is not a name.)
• Critiques should be honest but kind, helpful but sensitive.
• Critiques that attack the writer or are couched in unkind words will be deleted.*
• Cheerleading IS NOT THE SAME as critiquing.  Please don't cheerlead.
• Having said that, it is perfectly acceptable to say positive things about an entry that you feel is strong.  To make these positive comments more helpful, say why it's a strong entry.
• ENTRANTS: As your way of "giving back", please critique a minimum of 3 other entries.

*I can't possibly read every comment.  If you ever see a comment that is truly snarky, please email me.  I count on your help.

First Kiss #9

TITLE: Something Only We Know
GENRE: YA Lgbt drama

This scene’s set in a hospital lounge where Jayden and Jude are taking a break from the impending losses awaiting them  

“One of my mom's books, it has a whole lot about making sure your loved ones know that you will be okay and that you can let them go,” Jayden said, tearing up, “so when I'm alone with my dad, I tell him, it's okay, and I'll be okay, that he can go.”

“Wow, I don't know if I could do that,” I told her.

“You could if your brother was really suffering, my dad is suffering when he is awake,” Jayden said.

“I hope I can be stronger, like you,” I said.

“It's not strong, it's that I don't have a choice. I can't beg him to stay with me. How could I?” she said.

We sat a bit more and she suddenly shoved me.

“What?” I asked.

“I'm just glad you are here,” she said.

“So you hit me?” I said, pretending to be really hurt.

“I didn't hit you, ya baby!” Jayden said.

“You shoved me!” I insisted.

“A little bit, gosh!” she said, smiling.

I looked her in the eyes and smiled too, “I'm glad you are here too. I mean I'm--. also sorry, for why you are here--”

“Yeah, I know, shut up, or I'll put that on the list too,” Jay said.

It felt so strange that I was having the best conversation and I felt like I had met a new best friend. Here of all places. Something just clicked with her and I knew we were supposed to meet, not to sound all spiritual or weird, but I felt like there was something with us that was really cool.

And then Jay kissed me.

First Kiss #8

TITLE: Diplomatic Immunity
GENRE: Adult Thriller

In her safehouse in Vermont, Diana worries about her life while the sniper is still after her and at large. As she's recovering from the wounds from the shooting, her feelings for Wesley, her bodyguard, are deeper.

“What’s on your mind? You’re so quiet lately and a bit solemn. I’ll keep your safe here. What you need is a good distraction and try to relax like this…” He sat closer to her and leaned in for a big kiss on her lips.

A jolt of heated electricity sent shockwaves coursing through her body. It flushed her cheeks and curled her toes. Talk about explosive fireworks! Her heart raced while she had fluttering butterflies in her growling stomach. She didn’t know she would feel this way about him and vice versa after knowing each other for a day. What was he like in the bedroom? She told herself not to go there.

“Wow!”

“I’ve been wanting to do that yesterday for the longest time.”

She cocked her brows and controlled her heartbeat into a steady rhythmic pace. “Even if I was in pain?”

He smiled. “Yep. But I wanted to wait until you were feeling better. Don’t worry. I won’t rush things and take things slow with you.”

“Thank you.” For a couple of minutes, she marveled if he fell in love with her photo at first sight in her dossier for his assignment. “What did Adrian tell you about my case this weekend?”

Wesley opened and then closed his mouth shut. “Adrian made the call Friday night and had arranged for me to come to your hospital room right away. He told me you were in grave danger and needed immediate protection from a sniper.

First Kiss #7

TITLE: All that's Holy
GENRE: YA romance/fantasy

Holy Maiden Ysabel is injured during an attempted kidnapping by foreign country coveting her healing powers. When she thought she was about to die, she regretted never kissing Kaine, her bodyguard. Kaine is currently looking after her while she recuperates.

Nestling my feet in Kaine’s lap as I lay back on a pile of pillows, I said, “I’m bored.”

He massaged my feet. “Then let me know how I can serve you, my lady.”

I was just going to ask him to bring me a book, but the way he said that sent heat pooling in my belly. “How about you massage my back, then?” I rolled over.

“I’d love to.” He straddled me and kneaded my shoulders. Mmm, he had heavenly hands. I could feel my tension drifting away. Every so often his chest touched me, feather-light. I started to inch forward to let him access my thighs. “No, don’t move, let me,” he whispered, gently repositioning my legs. He stroked softly at first, then applied more pressure, focusing on each individual muscle.

I cracked an eye open. “You know, I promised you a kiss.”

“You did?”

“Inside my head.” Leisurely, I sat up and stretched.

His breath hitched. I planted my hands on either side of his head, trapping him against the wall. I wasn’t sure which of us moved first. Our lips locked. He tasted like sugar, the glutton, and he ate me alive like one of his pastries, probing with an inexperienced roughness and a gratifying eagerness. My hands wound in his hair as he also grabbed the back of my head. He sucked too hard in his eagerness, so I nipped him, then took over the reins, guiding his tongue in a tantalizing dance.

First Kiss #6

TITLE: Heart of Fire
GENRE: YA Fantasy

Ebba has fallen in love with a demon named Kryptos, but she’s forced to banish him in order to protect her world from a demonic invasion. He detects what she’s doing and appears partway through the ritual.

Kryptos materialized behind her, a frown on his face. “Ebba, there’s something wrong with the Veil.” Alarm colored his voice.

Sweet Anabiel have mercy. She hadn’t counted on him being able to detect what she was doing now he controlled the entrance between Hell and this world. If only she’d had time to read more of The Testament of Saint Jhaarth. The same book slipped from her frightened fingers.

Probably, she was going to die. At least it was too late for him to stop the ritual even if he took his fire back from her. She ought to say the last words and let it be finished.

Instead, Ebba grabbed the front of Kryptos’ shirt and kissed him.

Her decision was spontaneous and entirely self-centered. She did it because she wanted to. A kiss had been promised to her, and she would have it, even if it tasted bitter instead of sweet.

To her surprise, he kissed her back. He must have known something was wrong. Yet he didn’t break away. He devoted his full attention to the kiss. His hands went to her hips, his wings hugging her. There was a clumsiness in the thrust of his tongue, which he didn’t quite know where to put, but Kryptos kissed with singular focus, as if the only thing in the entire universe was her.

Their embrace only broke when Kryptos’ body started to fade away.

First Kiss #5

TITLE: The King's 100
GENRE: YA Sci-Fi/Romance

When Piper’s partner for the traditional court NYE kiss leaves the stage sick, the maestro replaces him with the one boy she has tried to avoid kissing since she set foot in the enemy kingdom.

Maestro shouted through a smile. “Kiss her, dammit! Kiss her!”

Ari looked down at Maestro, then back at me, wrestling with his next move. He dropped my hands and placed his palms on my waist. He closed the distance between us and I felt the heat of his body through his tuxedo. His fingertips tensed against my dress as his eyes darted back and forth, searching for answers on my frozen face.

No, I pleaded without speaking. Please don’t make me kiss you when all I want to do is leave this kingdom and forget you.

But then he sealed his decision by pressing his lips to mine.

I closed my eyes, shutting out the light of the room and drinking in the taste of Ari’s lips. Feeling lighter than air, I curled my fingers around the smooth satin of his lapel, anchoring myself to his body.
Ari pulled away and looked at me with a soft gaze and his mouth parted slightly open. The magicians released silver foil confetti, cloaking us in our own private sanctuary. The sounds of the outside world were dampened by the rhythm of our breathing as we stared into eachother’s eyes. I finally let go of the thick rope of the curtain within me, letting it fly open to expose my naked, vulnerable self to the boy on the other side.

Then Maestro shouted something, causing Ari to step back and dissolve our sanctuary.

First Kiss #4

TITLE: Skyline
GENRE: YA Contemporary

Sammie's struggling to balance her brother's growing issues with her own life. Finally she allows herself to hang out with a girl named Jade. Soon Sammie realizes she likes Jade as more than a friend, but is the feeling mutual?

Then I feel a hand lifting my chin back up. Jade's way closer now, and I can see every eyelash surrounding those amazing green eyes. Her hair curls around her face, the black melting into the green like grass through fresh dirt.

Jade takes my hand. "Nice nail polish."

And then I really do know.

Jade leans closer, and I close my eyes.

My first thought is, I'm kissing a girl.

My second thought is, holy crap! I need to start kissing more girls!

My third thought is I should just keep kissing Jade, because there's no way anyone else could be better.

Our hands are still entwined. I tangle my other hand in her hair. She reaches around my waist, holding me tight, not like I'm planning on going anywhere.

For a glorious minute--hour? Day?--I forget about Riley, and Josh, and everything else. All I know is Jade's lips on mine, and how soft her hair is, and how warm she is pressed up against me. I can't see her, but I can feel every inch of her, and I want to stand like this forever and never have to worry.
But eventually, she breaks free, and I want to ask how she got so good at kissing. I want to ask if this means we're a couple now. I want to ask if we can do it again.

First Kiss #3

TITLE: Tiny
GENRE: YA Science Fiction

Tala and Terran are humanoid aliens living on earth. They’ve been kidnapped and are being kept in a cave with a force field barrier guarding the entrance. Tala has assembled a device that will allow one person to pass through.

“Tala, wait.”

His voice was tense. She turned back, wondering if something was wrong. He swept toward her, placed his hands on her waist and, after staring for a fiery moment into her eyes, pressed his lips to hers.

Her mind whirled in surprise. Great fires of all the Volcanos. He was kissing her. And, she realized with a start that almost made her pull away, she was kissing him back. For once she didn’t think, didn’t calculate, she just let herself live in this one perfect moment.

And then, far too quickly, it was over. He pulled away and gave her a gentle push through the barrier.
She stood on the other side, breathless, a little confused, and still not sure what to do with her hands. He gazed back at her with the most serious expression she’d seen on him yet, pressed his hand against the barrier and whispered, “Good luck, Tala.”

She bit her bottom lip.

“Terran, you realize I’m not leaving without you, right?”

“You don’t have time to worry about getting the barrier down. Go. Get to the ship. Save the humans. You can come back for me when there aren’t other lives depending on you.”

“No, Terran. When I said the device would only let one person through, I meant only one…at a time.”
She held out the device, pushing it through the barrier toward him.

“Oh, right,” he said, taking it with an embarrassed grin that made her heart beat faster.

First Kiss #2

TITLE: Stoking Hope
GENRE: Adult Historical Fiction

Frances and Joe are college students, dating for two months. They take a walk after their chemistry class on a cold March day in 1941.

Frances scanned the treetops, searching for signs of spring but the trees were bare, the glass spires of the conservatory clearly visible.

Joe stomped his feet. “Let’s go inside.” He emptied his pocket, handing the coins to the gatekeeper.
She opened her mouth to protest. Joe being indulgent with his scant funds filled her with guilt, but the warm and perfumed air was so enticing. She closed her mouth. They wandered through damp rooms overflowing with exotic plants and flowers, pausing to read the small identification tags and trying to pronounce the long names aloud.

“Glad I’m trying to be a chemist, not a botanist,” Joe said, squinting at the words printed beneath a tall plant with leaves as large as elephant ears, hairy vines snaking up the trunk. He pushed open the door to the Orchid Room.

“Mmm,” Frances mumbled, overwhelmed by the intoxicating scent. Dozens of blooms in dozens of colors, quivering atop rubbery stems. She bent, her nose inches from blood-red petals. Two women approached, the only other people in the room, and Frances murmured a greeting, straightening to let them pass. She worked her way into the tight space, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Feeling Joe at her side, she opened her eyes. The women had disappeared; they were alone. She raised her chin and Joe leaned down, his eyes a brilliant green, mimicking the lush plants. Her first kiss. Everything was as she dreamed—heart pounding, lips tingling—except it wasn’t Mickey.

First Kiss #1

TITLE: Windcaller
GENRE: YA Fantasy

Tlanis, one of the oppressed dwellers of a rain-less land, has learned that naShola was only pretending to be a heartless noble. In secret she was the veiled windcaller who used her powers to bring rain to his people.

His gaze softened. “Do not blame yourself, Arris.”

A tremor ran through her at the sound of her secret name. She took a hesitant step toward him. “You’re too kind. Life in the Aridlands should have made you hard as stone, but here you are.” She blinked away her tears. “I love you, Tlanis.”

Once more his brow crinkled up. He had not expected this. naShola could not bear to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry. I wanted you to know. I won’t say it again.”

She started to go, but he caught her hand, pulled her closer. “Say it again,” he said quietly.

naShola gave him a wondering look, her heartbeat quickening. “I love you.”

“I love you, Arris.”

While she stood there, too stunned to believe it, Tlanis smiled and brought her face to his. Their lips met.

A thousand sensations enveloped her. She was so happy she thought she might drown in them. His soft mouth, his warm calloused palms on her cheeks, the ragged cloth of his sleeves as she clutched his arms, the scent of rain all around them…

It was raining. They broke apart and looked up together at the gentle mist coming down from the sky. Far in the west, the setting sun was a spot of pink through the pale gray clouds. Tlanis laughed and gripped her hand tight. naShola whispered to the wind, urging the clouds to spread and carry the hope of green beyond the Plateau.

Call For Submissions: FIRST KISS Critique Round

You know I had to do it--because VALENTINE'S DAY!

Does your novel have a first kiss scene? Would you like some feedback on it? This is the critique session for you!

The details:

*The submission window for this critique round is NOON to SIX EST on TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12.
*This contest is a lottery; at the close of submissions, the bot will choose 20 entries to post on the blog.
*Your first kiss scene may be from a novel in any genre EXCEPT erotica or erotic romance.
*Please note: the rating for this blog is PG-13. If your scene doesn't fit this parameter, it will be disqualified. (Final word is mine.)
*The First Kiss scenes will post for critique on--when else?--THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14.
*Enter HERE.
*IMPORTANT: Please format your entry as follows:

A brief lead-in to help set the scene and give it context. (40 words max)

Followed by your maximum-250-word first kiss scene.

If you fail to include a lead-in and your entry is chosen, you'll still get to be part of the line-up; but please know that it is more difficult for people to effectively critique a scene out of context. PLEASE INCLUDE THE LEAD-IN!

Questions? Ask below!

First Kiss: Critique Guidelines

Yay!  Time for some smooches!

Kisses are trickier than you may think.  Too many adjectives and we might roll our eyes instead of savoring the moment.  Not enough build-up and we might miss the moment altogether.  There's a delicate balance...coupled with personal taste.  (See what I did there?).  So enjoy the kisses--and see if you can help your colleagues make them even better!

Look for feedback from HOLLY BODGER and PIPER J DRAKE over the next few days!

Guidelines for Critique on MSFV:

• Please leave your critique for each entry in the comment box for that entry.
• Please choose a screen name to sign your comments. The screen name DOES NOT have to be your real name; however, it needs to be an identifiable name.  ("Anonymous" is not a name.)
• Critiques should be honest but kind, helpful but sensitive.
• Critiques that attack the writer or are couched in unkind words will be deleted.*
• ENTRANTS: As your way of "giving back", please critique a minimum of 3 other entries.

*I can't possibly read every comment.  If you ever see a comment that is truly snarky, please email me.  I count on your help.

First Kiss #15

TITLE: Complex Solutions
GENRE: YA

Joe and Lexi walk along the beach, killing time, waiting for another friend to arrive so they can all search for Lexi's parents' lost research.

“I can’t let my parents down, let that stranger who’s stalking me get his hands on it. I mean, if that’s why he’s following me around.”

Joe stops and turns towards me. “We’re going to find it.”

“Sorry, it seems it’s all I ever talk about. I shouldn’t dump it all on you.”

“Why are you apologizing? I want to help, Lexi.” His jaw muscle pulses. He takes a step closer.

“You’ve already done so much.” I look him in the eye and hold his gaze. He’s so close, his eyes an ocean of endless green.

My heart is like a ticking time bomb, a spark about to ignite into a firestorm. Joe leans close and takes my face in his hands. His peppermint scented breath is warm on my face as he parts my lips with his. I close my eyes and kiss him back, a soft, gentle kiss that slowly deepens. He brushes my cheek with his thumb as his other arm winds around my waist tugging me to him, against the warmth of him. I place my hands on his sweatshirt and feel his heart thrum in his chest. He tastes so good, a mix of salt, soap and peppermint rushing through my veins, through every cell. This is so good, so right. I don’t want to stop.But I do.

Because I feel like a fraud, keeping my secret from him. He thinks I have it all together. He has no clue how messed up I am, addicted to the little knife in my pocket. Will he still want to kiss me when he discovers the truth? My head spins. I draw in a sharp gulp of air and jerk back.
Joe’s eyes widen. “Lexi, what’s wrong?”

First Kiss #14

TITLE: What We Were Missing
GENRE: YA Contemporary

After a huge fight with her sister, Riley has driven to Hall’s apartment, where she’s taken out her anger on him. When she’s calmed down he wants her to talk, but she’s not sure she can trust him.  

“Do you want to talk about it?” His eyes are gentle and probing and I almost say yes.

“Not really.”

“Of course not,” he mumbles.

My body buzzes with irritation.

“What does that mean?”

He sits back with his lanky legs stretched out before him.

“Just more of the same from you.”

“So what?  You want all the juicy details?”

I sink into the cushion behind me and am suddenly, acutely aware of the negative space between us.  His head, leaned against the back of the couch, rolls towards me.

“Just something,” he says, and his eyes search my face with small, frantic movements.  I pull my feet up, embracing my knees like a shield.

“I don’t know what to do with you,” he whispers, and almost imperceptibly tugs at the hem of my jeans.

“That makes two of us,” I say.

When his eyes meet mine I can hardly remember myself.  Little flecks of gray float near his irises, like foam caps in a green sea.  This time when he pulls gently on my jeans I release my legs and let them fall towards him.  His hand brushes the top of my arm and before I can push back he’s pulling me close, his lips pressing softly into mine.  I move into the arc of his body and for a moment I disappear in his warmth.  For a moment I melt under his soft touch, his gentle kisses.  For a moment I let go.

First Kiss #13

TITLE: BELIEVE
GENRE: YA Contemporary

Soccer prodigy Lexi tore her ACL and, many months later, still struggles to return to form. Friend and freestyle partner Brasil gets her to play a very high-stakes game of soccer and she finally, finally, scores a goal.

 I’m so giddy I can’t stop giggling. Brasil laughs too, his hands around my waist, holding me so long I realize I should probably get down. But I don’t want to get down. As Brasil’s hands migrate lower, as our laughter fades to silence, I don’t think he wants me to get down either. He hitches me closer with one hand while his other strokes my cheek, then traces a path to my ear, outlines a lobe, goes back to my chin. A heavy swallow passes over his Adam’s apple. His gaze intensifies. My breathing shallows. Our smiles fade into something softer, more hesitant.

    I’m done being hesitant about any of this.

    I press my lips to his. He kisses me back, fully and firmly, with an intensity, a longing I’m not quite prepared for. His breath is a heady mix of coconut and vanilla. I taste it on his lips, his tongue. And those hands, those rough, callused hands that I’ve longed to have touch me, travel everywhere. I tighten my legs around his waist as he clutches the back of my neck; his other hand runs up and down my back, my sides, so, so close to the front of my sports bra, like he’s never going to be able to do this again. Those hands continue to roam, even when we break apart. I’m breathless, a little dizzy, and even more giddy than before.

    Because his kiss? This? Us?

    It’s even more glorious than the goal I just scored.

First Kiss #12

TITLE: Not Dead Enough
GENRE: YA Horror

Charlotte is being stalked by someone claiming to be her dead boyfriend. Nate has been helping her try to find out who it is. Charlotte isn't sure if Nate is just a nice guy or if he actually likes her. They have just arrived at a school dance together.

Maybe I’d misinterpreted what tonight meant. Maybe he was going to tell me that he just wanted to be friends, that it didn’t mean anything that we were here together.

I waited, wanting him to just get it over with. When the song ended, he shifted in his seat so he was facing me. “I’m sure you’ve already figured this out, but I really like you.”

The butterflies in my stomach seemed to have grown, and everything inside me fluttered. I cleared my throat, hoping my voice wouldn’t squeak. “I really like you too.”

Nate grinned, then the grin faded, and he leaned toward me. I shifted in my seat, leaning toward him. He put his hand on the side of my face, and together, we closed that last inch. His lips were warm and soft, and the butterflies in my stomach were so agitated that they almost felt uncomfortable.

He kissed me as if he wasn’t thinking of anything but me. He kissed me as if he couldn’t get enough of me. I couldn’t get enough of him. It felt dangerous and real and too good to be true. There wasn’t enough air in the car, but I didn’t need to breathe ever again. Everything felt too warm, as if we might burst into flames.

When we broke the kiss and sat back slightly, I couldn’t help grinning like an idiot, the same grin that was on Nate’s face. “This is the best dance ever,” Nate said, then laughed.

First Kiss #11

TITLE: Evren
GENRE: YA Fantasy

Evren and Sa'av faced the villain together and Sa'av was hurt. Things are coming to a head.

His sapphire eyes were dilated, his breathing shallow. "What happened?"

"They pierced me. In the chest."

Evren swore under her breath as he lifted the torn tunic and she saw the wound pooling with blood and liquid.

"Will you let me?"

His eyes flickered up towards her, hazy with pain. "Please, Evren."

Swallowing the lump that had risen in her throat, she kneeled down, the violet silk pooling around her. The tightness in her chest wouldn't leave. This was goodbye.

Tipping her head down so he wouldn't see the tears, she went to work, binding the wound. He inhaled sharply when her hands touched his waist. Glancing up, she opened her mouth to apologize for hurting him.

But was surprised when his mocha hand came to her chin and tipped her towards him.

Their lips met together and a volcano of heat flushed around her face down her neck. Evren bit his bottom lip gently, her eyes fluttering closed. Heat swarmed other places of her body and she pressed into his chest, careful to avoid his cut.

Tipping her face away from his searching lips, she rested her face in the nape of his neck.

"Evren," His tone was hoarse, "Please - "

"I have to leave, Sa'av."

She felt him slump down, his body quaking with disappointment. Tears threatened to slip down her cheeks. Biting down hard on her lip, Evren leaned back so he could see her face. The orange and violet dust particles continued to fall around them. They were in their own messed up fairytale world for that moment.

First Kiss #10

TITLE: For the Love of a Child
GENRE: Adult Suspense

Pearl has killed Betty’s abusive ex-husband, worried that he knew they switched the baby of a famous actress with another. When Brandon (a Private Investigator with a crush on Betty) arrives and starts pounding on the door asking if Betty is okay, Pearl tells Betty to get rid of him.

“Betty, don’t —”

I pulled him down by the lapels, stood on my tiptoes and brought my mouth to his. I felt his body tense for half a second, then his arms were around me. I kissed him hard, hungrily, letting all the emotion of the day empty from my body into his. I felt him respond to me, felt the muscles in his body tense. He kissed me back. His effort matched mine and then surpassed it. For that moment in time, all thoughts of babies and actresses and dead husbands disappeared. There was only the two of us, fusing into one.

After what must have been minutes, I reluctantly pulled away. My arms were wrapped around Brandon’s neck, something I didn’t remember doing. His hot breath heated my face as he brought his forehead down to touch mine. Part of me didn’t want to move, but Pearl’s last order stuck in my brain. Get him out of here.

“Get me out of here.” My hands moved down to his chest and found his heartbeat. It raced almost as fast as mine. “Let’s go. Anywhere. Just not here.”

He didn’t let go of me, but I saw his eyes move back to the front door. I tilted my head up and kissed him again. Gently this time, just for a moment.

“Please, get me out of here.”

He kept one arm around me as he led the way to his car.

First Kiss #9

TITLE: A Hundred Breaths
GENRE: Adult Historical Romance

13th century, Scotland. Gwyn is a Nord-Ancients woman who's been kidnapped from the isles and forced to wed Simon (a Scotsman) in a revenge plot against Gwyn's father. She refused to show up in the wedding chapel, so Simon's father brought the priest up to her bedchamber. Accepting her fate, she consents to the union:

The priest cleared his throat. “Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God’s holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love him, submit to him, honor and keep him, so long as you both shall live?”

Gwyn paused. Simon’s vows had lacked submit.

Simon’s father Alroy coughed.

Her groom’s eyes never left hers. They were as vast as the sea.

Her whispered words caught in her throat. “I will.”

It was done.

“Our help is in the Lord, who made heaven and earth,” the nasally priest said, taking both of their hands into his cold ones. “Blessed be this union.”

Simon didn’t release their connection. He stood unnaturally still, his face expressionless.
“Kiss your bride, Sir,” the priest encouraged.

Simon bent down to her level, turned his head to the side, and planted a soft kiss on her lips. She leaned ever so slightly in and allowed her own lips to meet his. She had never tasted a man’s lips before, and it was the briefest of moments. She’d expected ale or perhaps pungent cider, but as she pulled back and he released her hands, all the taste that remained with her was of fear.

And not just her own.

Simon turned on his heel and left without another word. His father followed, brimming with satisfaction, and lastly, the priest slinked away.

Once again, she was alone in her room. Alone on her wedding night, a Nord woman the new lady of Eilean Donan.

First Kiss #8

TITLE: Will of Time
GENRE: Adult Speculative Fiction

Will is a former child prodigy and a current professor at MIT with growing feelings for his PhD student, Elise. Elise is in her final semester and has had her eye on Will for a long time. She's just given him a thoughtful Christmas gift and, not having planned on a gift exchange, he has nothing for her. He's all apologies. She silences him with a kiss.

Without warning, Elise leaned in and placed her lips upon mine, their softness momentarily stunning me. I reacted the only way I knew how. I leaned forward and kissed her back the way her professor most certainly should not. In over my head, I pulled her to me without further thought of right or wrong. I drank in her scent, her taste, every inch of her I could claim in some way.

She had initiated it, but I found myself turning the tables, pinning her to the door in our heated exchange, one hand seeking her cheek as the other pressed against her lower back, pulling her tighter to me. My tongue danced across her lips, still tasting of her last glass of Riesling, and she responded by sinking closer, demanding more. I had been stupid to think that my growing attraction to Elise wouldn’t end in disaster.

In a rush of emotion, Elise finally broke the kiss. Her glassy, dark eyes were filled with something I couldn’t identify. Warning? Regret? Satisfaction? Even assaulted by guilt, there wasn’t a single part of me that didn’t want more. Had I been invited, I would have followed her into the apartment and into her bedroom without a second thought. God, she tasted as good as she smelled.

James. I shut my eyes. Jesus, Will. What were you thinking? A moment like that…
And my first thoughts were about her goddamn boyfriend?