SPECIAL PREORDER OFFER FOR MY WRITING TRIBE

 

Hello, friends!

Life has taken me far away from this blog, even though I keep telling myself I'm going to come back. For the record, I am no longer on Facebook and I seldom check in on Twitter. I'm most active on Instagram, though, so I hope you'll follow me there!

I'm writing today, though, to let you in on a PREORDER SPECIAL JUST FOR WRITERS that I've offered to subscribers of my newsletter and am now offering to you. If you preorder THE STOLEN KINGDOM before March 2, you can enter to win the following:

A free, 30-minute FaceTime or Zoom chat with me, to discuss your WIP and answer any writerly questions you'd like to ask. BONUS: If you send me your first chapter prior to the call, I will have notes for you!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Depending on how many entries I get, I may offer a second 30-minute chat so that I can give away two of them. Stay tuned!

Thank you, as always, for your support. Also? If you have a minute, please say hello in the comments. I MISS THIS COMMUNITY!!

The STORMRISE Library-thon

Friends!

One of the most exciting things in recent weeks has been discovering copies of STORMRISE at libraries across the country (yes, I really do spend time researching things like this)--even as many as a dozen copies in a single library system! It's thrilling to know that my book will be in the hands of readers through their local libraries, and I'd like to continue to spread the love.

Wanna join me -- and have a chance to win a hardcover copy of STORMRISE in the process? 

Welcome to the STORMRISE LIBRARY-THON! Here's how it works:

1. Request STORMRISE at your local library (usually this can be done online).*

2. Send a screenshot of your request to me at jillian@jillianboehme.com.

3. FOLLOW ME on Instagram.

That's it! The contest will run until 11:59 CDT on Friday, October 18, and I will announce the winner the following Monday.

*If your library already has a physical copy or audiobook of STORMRISE, you can still enter! Just send me a screenshot of the listing in your library's card catalog. Please note--physical copies or audiobooks only for libraries who already have STORMRISE. 

Thanks for helping STORMRISE spread its wings and fly into your neighborhood!

HOOK THE EDITOR: Introducing ELAYNE BECKER

Tomorrow the submission guidelines for HOOK THE EDITOR will post. Today, however, is reserved for helping you get to know Elayne Becker a little better!

Elayne Becker, freelance editor

JILL: I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't break when I learned you were leaving Tor Teen. What led you to this decision, and what is your next adventure?

ELAYNE: It's a bittersweet departure! A few things factored into my decision to leave, but what I will say is this: working in the publishing industry, while being rewarding in so many ways, is also tough. I love so much of the editor job, but unfortunately, it's also a recipe for burnout, particularly for employees working their way up from the entry level onward. Personally, I reached a point where that burnout became difficult to bounce back from.

I think that when you're waking up most days feeling uninspired by the day ahead, you have to start considering the possibility of change. (If change is within your means.) For me, I decided that meant pursuing a master's degree in Scotland, and potentially exploring work in other fields I'm passionate about, such as environmental conservation and women's advocacy. I doubt this is a forever farewell to the publishing industry from me-there are too many aspects of it that I enjoy to do that!-but I am looking forward to stepping away for a bit and seeing what else is out there.

JILL: It's exciting to know that you're going to be offering freelance editing! Tell us more.

ELAYNE: Yes! Working with manuscripts has always been very fulfilling-and fun!-for me; I truly love watching a story evolve from its earliest stages to the final, and helping writers achieve their visions. To that end, I offer editorial feedback on both the conceptual and line levels, as well as query and synopsis critiques. Fuller details are on my website.

JILL: Folks who know you as an editor might not realize that you're also a writer. What do you write?

ELAYNE: Fantasy will always be my first love, so that's the genre I'm writing at the moment. These days, I aim for a tone that's pretty, dark, and romantic, with a nature-forward aesthetic and a bit of a classic feel. One day, I hope to explore other genres as well! I'm a big history nerd, so I'd love to incorporate that into my writing at some point. Or maybe even some nonfiction-who knows.

JILL: You're living life on both sides of the desk. What is it that you love about editing? About writing? In what ways do these two pursuits complement each other? Conflict?

ELAYNE: The heart of the answers is the same for both-I love storytelling! I love new worlds and characters I get to know inside and out. Editing allows me to exercise the detail-oriented, critical thinking part of my brain in a fun way, as I examine all of the story's pieces and help the writer assemble them in a way that maximizes the story's potential. It's a ton of work, true, but engaging work, like trying to solve a puzzle. Writing, on the other hand, provides an outlet for my creative side, an avenue through which I can give voice to the words and scenes playing out in my mind. It's also a great way for me to process emotions or life events.

The two roles definitely inform one another. Editing has expanded my understanding of the craft, which in turn has improved my writing. Likewise, writing enables me to empathize more with writers and better understand how they might have approached different aspects of the manuscript. In terms of conflicts, confidence is a big differentiating factor between the two. Every editor has had doubts at some point in their career, but for the most part, I'm confident in my ability to critique a manuscript and offer valuable feedback. With writing, I still struggle with imposter syndrome often. I can recognize talent in other writers very quickly, but I have trouble recognizing skill in my own writing, even if other professionals assure me it's there. I think this is likely because writing is more personal, and reflective of our creative selves, whereas editing is a more detached endeavor at its core.

JILL: From the moment we began working on Stormrise together, I was amazed by your ability to reach deep inside a story and ask all the right questions in order to home in on the strongest trajectory. Are you able to set this amazing gift aside when you read for pleasure? What are your favorite (non-client) books of all time?

ELAYNE: Aw, thank you Jill! Admittedly, my editor brain tends to interfere when I'm reading for fun more often than I would like. I find myself constantly taking note of which aspects are well-done and how I would have edited weaker aspects differently. I do think there's a lot of value in reading actively (spoilers for my next answer!), but in my case, it can be frustrating at times. I'm working on ways to shut this off just a bit, so that sometimes I can read critically, and other times I can simply enjoy the read.

My favorite non-client books! I will try to limit myself to a handful, because leaving it at one is impossible. Juliet Marillier is a goddess of prose, and I'm currently working my way through her bibliography, but I know Daughter of the Forest will always be my favorite. I don't even have the words to describe all my feelings on that book. Likewise, I will buy anything Ruta Sepetys writes in an instant; her books are beautiful. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings makes the cut as well, of course, as does Shannon Hale's The Goose Girl. Also a special shoutout to Swati Teerdhala's The Tiger at Midnight and Madeline Miller's Circe, which are two of my favorite books that I've read this year.

JILL: What are your words of wisdom for aspiring authors?

ELAYNE: Read actively, particularly in the genre you want to write. Think about what an author is doing that you find really effective, and what you find confusing or disappointing. Once you do this enough, you can use it as a tool to shape your own writing.

Share your work with beta readers or critique partners, and open yourself to their feedback. A lot of the time as writers, we're too close to our work to really see it properly. It's a great thing when you learn that feedback is meant to help you, not hurt you.

Finally: write, write, write, because you really do improve the more you do. Trust me. (And the reams of stories from my youth that will never see the light of day.)

--

Huge thanks to Elayne for this interview, and for participating in HOOK THE EDITOR! If you need more information, GO HERE. Remember, official submission guidelines will post tomorrow (September 17). Any questions that aren't answered there? Ask below in the comments!

New Contest on the Horizon: HOOK THE EDITOR

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

So it's definitely taken me a while (my apologies!), but I've finally got something for you. 

How'd you like to win a 10-page, in-depth edit from an editor who, until recently, worked for a major publisher? If this makes your writerly fingers tingle, read on!

HOOK THE EDITOR

You may already know that my lovely editor, Elayne Becker, has left Tor Teen. It was heartbreaking to lose her, because she is incredibly talented. The good news for you, though, is that Elayne is now doing freelance editing! And I'm doing my part to get the word out (because she's so very good at what she does).

Hook the Editor will give you a chance to hook first your colleagues, and then, if you're chosen for the final round, Elayne herself. Here's how it will work:

1. ROUND ONE: Submit a pitch and the first two sentences of your (completed, edited) story. A maximum of 50 entries will be chosen.

2. The pitches will post on the blog, and readers will vote YES or NO as to whether they were hooked by your pitch. The 5 entries with the most YES votes will go to the next round.

3. ROUND TWO: The 5 winning entries will be invited to submit their first 250 words, along with their original pitches.

4. The 5 first pages will post on the blog. Readers will critique, and Elayne will read, leave comments, and then choose her favorite.

5. Elayne's choice will win a 10-page edit!

MORE INFO:

*Submission date: Tuesday, September 24 (Stormrise release day! Wooo!)

*The pitches will post on Tuesday, October 1; voting will begin immediately.

*The 5 winning entries will post on Tuesday, October 8; critiquing will begin immediately.

PLEASE NOTE: I will post a CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS on TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, with full submission instructions. Mark your calendars!

Ask your questions below. I'm super excited about this! 

GIVEAWAY: Win a signed ARC of STORMRISE!

I've stared at them long enough, and now I'm ready to give one away.

Enter below to win a signed ARC of STORMRISE! (And I hate to say this, but no international entries, please. Shipping is, sadly, cost prohibitive.)

The winner will be announced on May 6 -- the day before I leave for London!

STEP ONE: CLICK HERE to subscribe to my newsletter--easy-peasy!

STEP TWO: ENTER BELOW!



a Rafflecopter giveaway

(CLICK HERE to subscribe to my newsletter--easy-peasy!)

Fun Little Twitter Contest

Hey, folks!

I came across this ancient book trailer (well, okay, maybe not ANCIENT; it just feels that way) from when I first released AGENT: DEMYSTIFIED...so of course I had to turn it into a contest.

Head over to Twitter and watch the trailer. As soon as you spot my cameo appearance, tweet me using hashtag #authoresstrailer. I'll choose one name from among the tweets to win a 5-page critique.

Here's the tweet:

BLAST FROM THE PAST! Look for my CAMEO APPEARANCE in this book trailer from 2009! https://t.co/chwXtTMveq via @YouTube Tweet me when you find me! I'll choose one random winner from among the tweets to win a 5-PAGE CRITIQUE. Use hashtag #authoresstrailer

— Jillian Boehme/Authoress (@JillianBoehme) March 20, 2019

And by the way -- AGENT: DEMYSTIFIED is available for FREE on my web site!  Go HERE and scroll down.

I'll choose and announce the winner on Friday!

Secret Agent Coming in January!

It's been a while, but I'm delighted to announce that there will be a Secret Agent Contest in January! Specific submission details will be posted, as always, the week before submissions. However, for the sake of our newer readers (and to let you know which genres will be included), here's what you need to know now:

1. Up to 50 entries of the first 250 words of a completed manuscript will be accepted. The Secret Agent will read and critique all entries, and will then choose a winner (or winners).
2. This contest is open for unagented authors of unpublished (but completed and agent-ready) works.
3. January's genres will include: women's fiction, mystery, suspense, historical fiction, and young adult (all genres).
4. Submissions for our January contest will be on Monday, January 21.
5. To learn more about Secret Agent Contests, GO HERE.

More than 60 authors have found their agents through contests on this blog; many of them have gone on to be published. Maybe you'll be next. :)

Please don't hesitate to ask your questions below!

Pitch Contest: Grab My Heart!

I promised some in-house critiques, so here's the first! I've sweetened it a bit, though, because THERE WILL BE SOME WINNERS.

Welcome to the GRAB MY HEART pitch contest, in which you will attempt to grab my heart with your pitch and the first page of your ready-to-query manuscript.

Here's how it'll work:

1. Submit a pitch and the first 250 words of your story in ANY GENRE except erotica or erotic romance. (Pictures books not included; I'm sorry.)

2.  I will take 40 entries, chosen by our lovable bot.

3. The 40 entries will post on the blog for public critique.

4.  From these 40, I will choose MY THREE FAVORITES.  Each of my favorites will receive a critique of their first 5 pages.  (Why 5? Because often that's how many pages agents request that you include in your query letter.)

So start fine-tuning your pitches--submissions will open THIS MONDAY, JULY 16!

(Ask your questions below!)

Exclusive Interview and Q&A with Elayne Becker--and a Big Tenth Birthday Book Giveaway!

Happy Tenth Birthday, Miss Snark's First Victim! And a HUGE thank you to EACH OF YOU for being part of this community over the years.

It's no exaggeration to say that I'm thrilled beyond measure to be working with Elayne Becker at Tor Teen. Her heart for my story and her incredible insight and editorial superpowers (not sure what else to call them--this gal knows her stuff) are making this journey toward publication an incredible one.  (I mean, when your editor writes, "I punched the air with my fist!" when she reads a change you've made, what more can you want?)

Here, without further ado, is the interview I've been promising:

Elayne Becker

Jillian: So you're now an Associate Editor at Tor/Forge Books and Tor Teen (congratulations!). Can you tell us a bit about the journey that brought you to this place?

Elayne: As I'm sure is the case with most publishing professionals, my journey began with a lifelong passion for reading. With children's books in particular, I remember the impact my favorite novels had on me as I was growing up. At a certain point, I suppose it just hit me: what if I could turn that passion into a career? And if I could help put novels on the shelves that might become favorites for the next generation of readers, even better. Fast forward several years, and I'm about to enter my fourth year at Tor. (After studying Classics and History, I might add--no English degree for me!) It's been quite the ride! Working my way up from the entry assistant level required a lot of hard work and long hours, but reaching the stage wherein I get to champion new voices (like yours!) has been a blast and a privilege.

Jillian: I love that you are championing authors, which is above and beyond "editing" or "publishing". What does the process look and feel like to you, from first peek at a submission to that glorious moment when you make an offer?

Elayne: Yeah! A common misconception is that being an editor means spending your day reading and editing manuscripts, when in reality, there's a lot more to it. We're on the front-lines when it comes to working with other departments in-house and endeavoring to secure the best opportunities we can for our titles. 

 As far as the submission process goes, the best word I can use to describe it is: slow. Due to the busy nature of this job, most of my reading time has to be squeezed in after hours or during that rare quiet week. (I often feel guilty about making agents and authors wait a long time for my response, but I always prefer to give careful reads--and feedback, when I can--rather than rushing an answer out the door.) That being said, time constraints aside, reading submissions is tons of fun! Probably one of my favorite parts of the job. There's such a large breadth of talent out there, and it's a treat to be privy to so many stories in the making. I can usually tell within the first chapter if the writing is at the level I'm looking for. Then, if the foundation is solid, I look at other markers--characters, pacing, worldbuilding, etc. It's important to note that all of those things can be excellent and I might still not feel like the right editor for the project. 

Ultimately, it comes down to which story feels right for me, and which I think I can promote to the best of my ability. Not much beats that moment when you find that book that steals your heart and needs to be yours. Several factors go into whether I can make an offer, and what that offer entails. For instance, before I even buy a book, I'm already looking at comparable titles, generating bullets for sales, examining its place in the market, and figuring out how to position it in a way that would maximize its chance at success. Making the offer itself is incredibly exciting -- but also sometimes nerve-wracking! When I love a book, I love it, and there's always the possibility that my offer will not be the one accepted.

Jillian: So, clearly this is a love relationship from the start, and like any relationship, there will sometimes be rough spots. What are some of the more difficult things you encounter between acquisition and release? What can authors bring to the table that will make this process run more smoothly?

Elayne: Generally speaking, one of the hardest parts of the publication process is the fact that there will always be variables outside of our control. We buy books because we love them, we believe in them, and we believe we can sell them. But we can't always predict the outcome. Patience is truly a virtue in this industry. And so, when authors offer patience and understanding, it's enormously helpful. Kindness really does go a long way! Be aware that editors collaborate with several different departments in-house on a daily basis, and as a result may be slower to respond. Understand that editors can't control every part of the process. (Unfortunately! 🙂) Recognize that not every step will be as you envision it, and be open to making changes to the manuscript; your book is your baby, and your editor will respect that, but they'll also recommend changes that will enable you to make your story the best it can be. Be passionate, and fight for your book. But, difficult as this may be to hear, manage expectations. And always, always keep writing.

Jillian: And, of course, you're taking your own advice here, since you are also a writer (freshly agented--congratulations!). I know firsthand the passion and purpose you bring to your authors' stories. How do you balance your time and creative energy between editing and writing? In what ways does your own writing journey bring depth to your career as an editor?

Elayne: Thanks! While I'm usually pretty good at switching between my editor and writer hats, the two do inevitably bleed together a bit, which I feel is a good thing. I like to think that being an editor who's also a writer means I have more empathy for my authors. I know what this journey means to them, and because of that I take my role as their in-house representative incredibly seriously. Also, I know that things on my side of the desk can feel rather "behind the curtains" for many writers, so I try to be transparent about the process, to the extent that I'm able. Essentially, it's just another form of treat others the way you hope to be treated! 

And, for the record, the reverse is true as well; being an editor has absolutely been beneficial to my writing. Industry knowledge aside, editing the manuscripts on my list, and listening to colleagues describe the changes they're recommending for their own projects, has enabled me to approach my own writing with a more solid foundation than I'd previously experienced. 

Components I tell authors to watch out for -- character development, pacing, worldbuilding, etc. -- are things I tell myself as well. In terms of balancing time and creative energy, I won't lie -- it can be difficult! Working a rather intense day job means I have to squeeze in writing time whenever I can; namely, early mornings before work (bless Bath & Body Works for their forest-scented candles), and throughout the weekends. Sometimes I joke that I've forgotten how to be a person, because I'm not exactly sure what it's like to *not* always be working! It can also be a little challenging to not have that mental divide, since I wake up and think about books, go to work and think about books, and come home and think about books. But, I'm not complaining. I feel incredibly fortunate to have a foot in both doors, and as I said, each informs the other!

Jillian: Well, I'm thankful to be on the receiving end of your boundless insight and experience! In closing, I'd be remiss not to ask you the quintessential interview question: What do you read for pleasure? What are your favorite Books of All Time?

Elayne: Ooh! I don't have as much time to read for pleasure nowadays as I would like, but my queue is a mixed bag! I typically alternate between adult and YA, and recently I've been introducing more nonfiction into the mix as well; Gillian Gill's We Two, a biography of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, and Robert Moor's On Trails, are two books I've been enjoying immensely. 

In terms of all-time favorites, how do I choose?! J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings is definitely my favorite series of all time, for so many reasons--the timeless quest, the characters, the land, the insane worldbuilding... I could go on and on, so let's just say, I adore it. Juliet Marillier's Daughter of the Forest has some of the most beautiful prose I've ever encountered; it's a gorgeous story about a girl persevering in the face of adversity in order to save those she loves. Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre and Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice are certainly on the list--partly because I admire the authors, and partly because I see myself in their protagonists. Anything Ruta Sepetys writes, and especially Between Shades of Gray. Harry Potter, of course, and my favorite in the series is Order of the Phoenix. If we're stretching back to childhood, I have to mention Anna Sewell's Black Beauty and Erin Hunter's Warriors series (the original) -- I've always been an animal person, so novels about horses and cats were definitely my jam. And finally, Shannon Hale's The Goose Girl, which I've probably read eleven or twelve times by now. It's a fairy tale that never ceases being magical.

Jillian: A wonderful glimpse into the world of books you love--thank you, Elayne! And thanks so much for this interview.

AND NOW FOR THE Q&A!

Leave your questions for Elayne in the comment box below. Ask her anything you'd like to know! Note: I will accept questions for 24 hours; after this time, I will delete any questions that show up, in the interest of respecting Elayne's time. She will answer as many questions as she can today, and she will return on Monday to answer any remaining questions.

On behalf of everyone--thank you, Elayne!

THE GIVEAWAY

Enter below for a chance (or many chances!) to win ALL THE BOOKS! Eleven people will win 1 book each, and 1 lucky winner will win a box of NINE BOOKS. Titles and authors are listed in the rafflecopter box. The raffle closes at midnight, and winners will be announced tomorrow.

(Note: If you've already subscribed to my newsletter, you can still check off that option for your mandatory entry. I'll be double checking all winning entries, so as long as your email is on my list, you're good to go!)

Good luck, everyone!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Our Tenth Birthday Giveaway!!

It's happening--Miss Snark's First Victim is celebrating TEN WHOLE YEARS this Wednesday, April 4!

To celebrate, there will be an exclusive interview and Q&A session with Elayne Becker, my lovely editor at Tor Teen.  As in, SHE WILL ANSWER ALL YOUR QUESTIONS!  So be sure to stop by and ask them.  (And remember--some questions are universal, so don't feel like you can't ask a question if you don't write what Tor Teen publishes.  ASK ANYWAY! This session is for everyone.)

In addition to the Q&A, we are having a HUGE BOOK GIVEAWAY FROM TOR TEEN! I'm super excited to offer these books, and a few ARCs, to you.

I mean, LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIES!

So, how do you win?  Easy! On Wednesday, I'll post a Rafflecopter entry form, which will give you a few different options for entering (you may choose as many as you'd like for extra entries!).  Winners will be announced on Thursday.

IMPORTANT: This contest is US-only. I HATE THAT, but there's really no way around it.  It's true that the majority of my readers are in North America, but I know that some of you hail from elsewhere on the globe. I'm sorry!

Several people will win a single title, and then there will be one grand prize winner who will receive A WHOLE BOX OF BOOKS.

Here are the titles:

Like Never and Always by Ann Aguirre

When I Cast Your Shadow by Sarah Porter

Roar by Cora Carmack

Dare You to Lie by Amber Lynn Natusch

Dark of the West by Joanna Hathaway

Blood and Sand by C.V.Wyk

The Echo Room by Parker Peevyhouse

Metaltown by Kristen Simmons

Windwitch by Susan Dennard

The Dark Intercept by Julia Keller

To Catch a Killer by Sheryl Scarborough

YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS! Mark your calendars for Wednesday and get your questions ready for Elayne.

T minus 2 days to Birthday Hoopla!

ALL THE FUN To Celebrate Miss Snark's First Victim's TENTH BIRTHDAY!

Ten years, my friends. On April 4, 2018, it will be AN ENTIRE DECADE since I wrote my first BLOG POST here.  Naturally, I want to celebrate!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THE FOLLOWING TEN-YEAR CELEBRATORY EVENTS:

1. SNEAKY AGENT BLOGPITCH 

When: Thursday, March 29

What:  50 pitches to be posted for public critique and possible requests from agents

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:

*Submissions will open Monday, March 26 at 9:00 am EDT and will close on Tuesday, March 27 at 9:00 am EDT.

*After the close of submissions, the bot will randomly select 50 entries to be posted on the blog.

*ALL CATEGORIES AND GENRES--except erotica or erotic romance--will be included.

*Your entry should consist of a tight, 75-words-or-fewer pitch for your completed, polished novel. (Do not enter this contest if your manuscript is not agent-ready.) Remember--the fewer words, the better.

*Submit your entry HERE.

*The 50 winning entries will post on Thursday, March 29.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN:

Two wonderful things!

1. Your pitch will receive critique from this lovely blog community AND several published authors.

2.  SNEAKY AGENTS will also be reading the pitches! If they see anything they like, THEY WILL MAKE REQUESTS IN THE COMMENT BOXES.

So basically, if your entry is chosen for this blogpitch round, your pitch will be read by agents who are currently open to new clients. The agent response to my invitation to this contest has been delightfully positive so far!

If you have any questions about this contest, please leave them in the comment box below.

2. Q&A WITH ELAYNE BECKER, Associate Editor at Tor Teen

On Wednesday, April 4 -- MSFV's 10th birthday -- I will share an exclusive interview with Elayne Becker, my fabulous editor and rising star at Tor Teen and Tor/Forge Books.  In the comment box of the interview, Elayne will field your questions! The comment box will be open for 24 hours, during which time you may post your questions to Elayne. She will take up to 3 days to answer ALL questions posted!

Note: This is a GREAT opportunity to get insight from the inside. Mark your calendars!

WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Elayne will be giving away a box o'books from Tor to one lucky winner. YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS!  Details on the giveaway are forthcoming.

I hope you'll join us for the celebration! I'm thankful for these past ten years, and I'm glad you've been a part of them.

Write Her Bio Contest Winners

Okay, this wasn't easy!  I was originally a bit disappointed by the small number of entries (only 13), but in the end, that turned out to be a blessing.  I'm sure I'd still be wringing my hands over which to choose!

I so appreciate the vast amounts of creativity that went into these efforts.  A HUGE THANK YOU to all thirteen of you!  Be assured that I read every entry more than once.  More than more than once.

In the end, though humor abounded, I decided to choose the 2 entries in which the writer really captured me.  It's a indescribable feeling when someone shows they've been paying attention--really getting to know the "you" that's been put out there.  It's all sorts of affirming.

So, without further ado, here are my two winning entries:


AUTHORESS BIO by Rebecca LuElla Miller

Loretta Langley writes young adult fantasy. As an aspiring actress and musician, she majored in music education in college. However, her passion soon turned to writing. After all, her first "claim to fame" had come in ninth grade as the author of a fairytale. As an adult, Ms. Langley's fame spread through her writing blog, Miss Snark's First Victim. Over 2.5 million visitors have benefitted from her contests, critiques, and advice. Although she still sings with the local symphony orchestra and plays the piano, she spends most days writing fiction. Ms. Langley is married, enjoys ballet, loves Teuscher truffles and helping other writers become publishing success stories. She is currently agented by Most-Beloved-Agent.


AUTHORESS UNVEILED BIO by Kate Larkindale

Harriett Saunders writes and lives in America’s Midwest. When the sun is shining, you will find her on the porch, writing to the music of the local wildlife, a cup of tea never far from her hand. Her hobbies include ballet, playing the piano and singing in a choir, two of which she is very skilled at. She loves the ocean, organic food and fingerless gloves. Harriett’s dedication and commitment to the writing community is legendary. For many years she has anonymously run Miss Snark’s First Victim, a blog through which she has supported and boosted the careers of numerous aspiring authors, and helped agents find great books to represent.


Congratulations, Rebecca and Kate, and thank you for your lovely and insightful depictions of me.  Please email me at facelesswords@gmail.com and let me know where to send your $20 B&N gift cards!

I'd like to also add this honorable mention, because I think it's the most epic name anyone could've come up with:


AUTHORESS BIO by Scott Mitchell

Euphemia Endeavour is a woman of many names because her parents couldn’t decide what to name her. Her actual name is Eunice Urella Penelope Huldah Elizabeth Mehitable Irene Arabella Endeavour. Her parents used the first initial of each name and called her Euphemia. It’s understandable why Euphemia loves wine. She began her writing career in kindergarten with Once Flushed, Gone Forever about the unexpected loss of her prize goldfish. Her writing endeavors continued through the years until she became Miss Snark’s First Victim. From that point on, with the help of chocolate and wine, she survived the writerly angst to finally publish Death by Wine and Chocolate. She lives with her husband somewhere in the United States.

Thank you, Scott.  You may call me Euphemia whenever you wish.  :)

And, finally, I thought you might like to see my actual bio:


In her quest to become a princess, Jillian Boehme once wrote a letter to Prince Edward in the hope that they could become pen pals (and, well, get married). That didn't work, so she decided to write stories instead. She also plays the piano, sings, and dreams of living in a hobbit hole. Having grown up on the east coast, she longs for the ocean, but has settled for the knolls of Middle Tennessee, where she lives with her husband, offspring, and an exquisite cat named Lucy.

And there you have it!  A huge thank you once again to everyone who took the time to create something special.  Hugs to all!

Contest #5: TRUE OR FALSE

Day 5: 80% of Authoress

Welcome to our fifth and final contest!  I'm SUPER excited about today's prize:  a 6-month subscription to ONE STOP FOR WRITERS, courtesy of Angela Ackerman.  You don't want to miss this opportunity!

Today's challenge:  TRUE OR FALSE

Simply decide whether each of the follow statements is true or false.  Post your answers in the comment section (please don't repost the questions -- just a numbered list of T's and F's!).  And don't forget to also sign up for the Rafflecopter drawing below.



1. Mr. A and I met in college. We were both music majors.

2. I hate cashews.

3. I’ve been taking Tai Chi classes for the last few years.

4. I signed with Josh Getzler in 2010.

5. I’ve met Beth Revis, Jodi Meadows, and Victoria Schwab in person.

6. My husband gets all the credit for training me to stop writing dorky dialogue.

7. Danielle Burby is my third agent.

8. My claim to theatrical fame is the lead role of Lili in Carnival.

9. I’ve always wanted a dog, but Mr. A is allergic to them.

10. To date, I’ve written 11 novels. Just. Keep. Swimming.


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Contest #4: TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE

Day 4: 60% of Authoress

Welcome to Contest #4!  Today we're giving away more first-chapter critiques (yay!).

Today's contest:  Below you'll find 5 sets of facts about Authoress--each set contains 2 truths and a lie.  Your job is to find the lie in each set!  Post your answers in the comment box below, and remember to click on Rafflecopter to be entered in the drawing for the critiques!

(Remember: You don't need to play the game to enter the giveaway! Simply choose a different entry option on the Rafflecopter below.)

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE

SET 1:

A. I suffer from misophonia, a disorder that makes normal human sounds, like chewing, swallowing, and breathing, unbearable to listen to.

B. I have a bone spur in the big toe of my left foot which makes it nigh impossible for me to do a proper relevé. Also it hurts when I wear heels.

C. As a child, I had my appendix removed via emergency surgery, only to later learn that my appendix was fine. This was before the days of rabid medical lawsuits (so there wasn’t one).

SET 2:

A. After college and before marriage, I put my worldly belongings inside—and on top of—a 1971 Volkswagen Super Beetle and moved to Nashville, TN.

B. In college, I founded a small campus newspaper that focused on the school of fine arts, since we were largely ignored in the shadow of the school of business. We were still largely ignored, but I had a great experience writing for those two years.

C. I was the accompanist for our University Choir for 3 of my 4 years at Susquehanna University. Those rehearsals were my only experience playing a Steinway full concert grand.

SET 3:

A. At 17, I ran the family car into a tree, completely smashing the front and crackling the windshield. I wasn’t hurt.

B. I currently drive a 1998 Toyota Sienna. Neither door on the passenger’s side opens, because the handles have fallen off. Which means that, if I have a passenger, he has to crawl in through the other side.

C. My husband’s first brand new car had a standard transmission, which I didn’t know how to drive. He took me out for one lesson—just one—and I nailed it.

SET 4:

A. I’ve always had a strange fascination with insects. Our 8th-grade science teacher required a minimum of 30 specimens for our insect collection. I presented him with 84.

B. I’m afraid of heights—I can climb up, but getting down is scary. Once, in San Francisco, I climbed onto a cement thing to take pictures of the trolley turnaround, and I froze. My husband had to come rescue me (in front of lots of people).

C. I grew up believing that women weren’t supposed to drink beer. Which is probably why it’s just recently that I’ve started to appreciate certain brews.

SET 5:

A. My I.Q. is 138, my college G.P.A. was 3.69, and I’m an INFJ.

B. Over the years, I’ve been employed as a daycare teacher, an administrative secretary, a telemarketer, a U.S.P.S. seasonal worker, and an elementary music teacher.

C. I’ve lived in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Kentucky, North Carolina, and Tennessee.




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Contest #3: FAVORITE AUTHORS

Day 3:  40% of Authoress

Welcome to Contest #3, which offers TONS of free books as prizes!  In fact, we will be giving away 23 books!! (Note: All book prizes are USA delivery only, except for digital.)  Take a moment to scroll through the Rafflecopter below to take a look at the amazing list of prizes.

HOW TO PLAY:

Your job is to complete this list of my FAVORITE AUTHORS. (Disclaimer:  this is not my ENTIRE list of favorite authors.  Lest you feel I've omitted someone you were sure I loved.)

STEP ONE:  You are allowed, as a group, to request 5 CONSONANTS and 1 VOWEL.  Here's how this step works:

• Post 1 vowel or consonant choice in the comment section.  POST ONLY ONE PER COMMENT.
• As soon as TWO PEOPLE have requested the same letter, that letter is official.

(Note: Step One will likely move fast.)

STEP TWO:  Once I have the 5 consonants and 1 vowel, I will edit this post to include them.  THAT'S ALL YOU GET!  Here's what you need to do:

• Work out the list on your own until you've got all the answers.
• Post your completed list in the comment section.
• FILL OUT THE RAFFLECOPTER so you're eligible to win glorious books.  (Please note that, except for anything digital, this giveaway is US only.)

IMPORTANT:  You don't have to play to enter the raffle!  Simply choose a different entry option in Rafflecopter below. 

AUTHORESS'S FAVORITE AUTHORS

(Hint: This list includes authors from today and not-today.)

 1.  J A N E    A _ S _ E N

 2.  N A N _ _    _ _ L _ E A _

 3.  J _ _ _    _ E A _ _ _ S

 4.  _ A _ _ E R _ N E    _ _ R _ _

 5.  S _ _ A N N E    _ _ L L _ N S

 6.  _ A _ R _ _ _ A    _ _ _ _ L L _ _

 7.  _ _ L L _    _ _ _ _ E R

 8.  R A E    _ A R S _ N

 9.  _ A R _    E.    _ E A R S _ N

10.  R _ _ A    S E _ E _ _ S

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Contest #2: ORDER OF EVENTS

Day 2: 20% of Authoress

To play:

Place these blog events in the order in which they occurred.  Post your answer in the comments section.  In order to be considered a viable entry, your blog comment needs to contain a completed list of all 10 items.

(Hint: A quick search on the blog will give you the information you need!)

IMPORTANT:  If you want to be eligible for the drawing for prizes, be sure to fill out the Rafflecopter!  There are options for extra entries to increase your odds of winning, so go for it!

ALSO IMPORTANT: You don't have to play the game to enter!  Simply go to Rafflecopter and choose another option for entering.

THE EVENTS:

1.  FIRST BAKER'S DOZEN AGENT AUCTION

2.  AUTHORESS SIGNS WITH DANIELLE BURBY

3.  ADORABLE EDITORS CONTEST

4.  FIRST SECRET AGENT CONTEST

5.  AUTHORESS CHANGES THE LOOK AND TITLE OF HER BLOG

6.  FIRST CRITIQUE PARTNER DATING SERVICE

7.  FIRST ON THE BLOCK CONTEST

8.  AUTHORESS WRITES ODE TO MY READERS

9.  HUGE RANT ON HOW TIRED I WAS OF BEING ANONYMOUS

10.  FIRST BOOK DEAL ATTRIBUTED TO THE BLOG

PRIZES OFFERED:  4 1-chapter critiques.  Scroll through Rafflecopter to see who they're from!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Contest #1: WRITE HER BIO - Submissions Now Open!

Welcome to the Authoress Reveal series of contests!  Submissions for Contest #1 are now open.

The above picture, currently completely hidden, is broken into 5 pieces.  At the close of each contest, 1 piece of the picture will be revealed.  Reveal Day -- November 1 -- will include the final photo.  No more hiding behind hats!

Review the submission guidelines for Write Her Bio HERE.

Enter HERE.

Two winning entries (of my choice) will each receive a $20 Barnes and Noble gift card.  (Woot!)

Best of luck!

Early Info: Submissions for the Write Her Bio Contest!

Here it is--a chance to let your creativity shine!

You don't know my name or anything about my personal life, aside from what I've chosen to share on the blog over the years.  Take what you know--and use your writerly imagination for the rest--and come up with a brief author bio for me.  Think about what you might read on a jacket flap or on an author's web site or blog--a few sentences that make it sound like you actually know everything about me.

The approach is your choice!  You can be humorous, go for something completely wacky, or do your best to try to get as close as possible to the truth.

Example:

Henrietta Toothsome spends most of her time spelunking in abandoned mines on her 4000-acre property in South Dakota.  When above ground, she enjoys writing stories while watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond.  She has won three local awards for her short stories, as well as a blue ribbon for the largest spaghetti squash at last year's Harvest Fair.  Her husband and three grown children live in the basement.

(Okay, not really.  I'll be more impressed if you write something that's actually believable.)

Here are the guidelines*:

• Submissions will open at noon EDT on Friday, October 20, and will close at noon EDT on Monday, October 23.
• Your "authoress bio" should be no more than 120 words in length.
• Come up with a FULL NAME for me!
• Please go HERE to submit your entry.
• This is not a lottery; I will read all the entries and choose my favorites.
• Two winners will each receive a Barnes and Noble e-gift card!

Any questions?  Please leave them in the comment box below!

*Those of you who actually do know me are not eligible for this contest. You know who you are. :)

AUTHORESS REVEAL: The Official Schedule of Jollity

I've invited you all to celebrate my taking-off of the perpetual hat, so I thought it might be a good idea to share what I've got planned.  

Without further ado, here is the official schedule!

OCTOBER 20:  Submission Day for Contest 1: WRITE HER BIO (details to post on the 16th)

OCTOBER 23:  Contest 2 - ORDER OF EVENTS

OCTOBER 25:  Contest 3 - FAVORITE AUTHORS

OCTOBER 27:  Contest 4 - 2 TRUTHS AND A LIE

OCTOBER 30:  Contest 5 - TRUE OR FALSE

NOVEMBER 1:  REVEAL DAY

Points of interest:

• The completion of each contest will reveal 1/5 of my photo.  On November 1, you'll see the whole thing.  
• Each contest will have its own offering of fabulously bookish and writerly prizes!  I will post the full prize list next week.
• Contest 1 (WRITE HER BIO) is the only submission-based contest.  The other 4 will take place on the blog, in the comment boxes, real time.
• The winners of Contest 1 will be chosen based on merit; the winners of Contests 2 through 5 will be chosen at random (via Rafflecopter).  All winners will be announced in a separate post on Reveal Day.

Please ask your questions below--I've gone over and over this, but am still worried I may have forgotten some necessary bit of information.

Also?  Thank you so much for your outpouring of enthusiasm, encouragement, and love.  I've done far less blogging and fewer contests this year, and I honestly didn't expect this level of outpouring from the masses.  I FEEL SO BLESSED.

And less terrified to reveal myself.  Thanks for that!  :)

Holly Bodger: A Very Special Debut

You all know Holly as our resident Logline Guru during our (now-retired) Baker's Dozen Agent Auctions.  She is also one of my valued critique partners, a fabulous writer, and a friend.  And next week her debut YA novel hits the shelves.

The stuff:

In the year 2054, after decades of gender selection, Koyanagar–a country severed from India–now has a ratio of five boys for every girl, and women are an incredibly valuable commodity. Tired of wedding their daughters to the highest bidder and determined to finally make marriage fair, the women of Koyanagar have instituted a series of tests so that every boy has the chance to win a wife. But after fighting so hard for freedom against the old ways of gender selection, these women have become just as deluded as their male predecessors. 

Sudasa Singh doesn’t want to be a wife, and Kiran, a boy competing to be her husband, has other plans as well. Sudasa’s family wants nothing more than for their daughter to do the right thing and pick a husband who will keep her comfortable—and caged. Kiran’s family wants him to escape by failing the tests. As the tests advance, each thwarts the other until they slowly realize that they might want the same thing. This beautiful, unique novel is told from alternating points of view—Sudasa’s in verse and Kiran’s in prose—allowing readers to feel both characters’ pain and grasps at hope. 

Coming May 12, 2015 from Knopf.

I adore this book. I knew in my bones that this was "the one" for Holly. You will be blown away by her ability to create a rich world and well-developed characters through spare and gorgeous verse. And her prose is pretty darn good, too! So, without further ado, and in celebration of 5 to 1's release, I give you this guest post by the lady herself--followed by information on a 5 to 1 contest just for you!

(Holly Bodger in a beautifully appropriate hat)

The Writer’s Life
Holly Bodger

I’m going to let you in on a secret: being a writer is the best job in the world. You get to invent people and do really nice—or really mean—things to them. You get to have long conversations with friends. Okay, these friends are imaginary, but they are the best friends ever! They always remember your birthday and they are always there when you need to kick butt in outer space or when you need to have an ugly cry.

When you sign with an agent, everyone on Twitter and Facebook congratulates you. When you sell your book, everyone on the planet congratulates you. When your work is finally published, all the people in your life say they are SO DAMN PROUD and you get these amazing fans who call you BRILLIANT! But you know what’s the best thing of all? You get to do all of this while wearing pajamas and fuzzy socks!

Now that we’ve covered that, I’m going let you in on another secret: being a writer sucks. Perhaps that wasn’t clear. Let me try again. BEING A WRITER IS THE EPITOME OF SUCKITUDE! There’s a reason why a lot of classical novels are depressing, and it’s because they were written by writers. Seriously, what other career can take years just to start? Can you imagine if you went to get a job at a bank and they handed you a form letter that said, “We may hire you eventually, but please continue to fill out the attached application and bring it here every single day, oh, for the next five years. We’ll probably continue to give you this same rejection, but don’t worry, one day we might let you move to the next step. Oh, and the next step is exactly the same as this one, except it’s a slightly different form. Good luck!” I know I’m preaching to the crowds here when I say that everything about writing is hard. It’s hard to create a story. It’s hard to get it right. It’s hard to get an agent, and a publishing deal, and reviews that don’t drive you to drink Chardonnay. Luckily, there is a bright side. You will never find a community that is more supportive than the writing community. I have lost count of the number of times one of my writer friends has pulled me off the proverbial edge.

This leads me to the last thing I want to say here: a few years ago, I was ready to give up on writing. I’d been doing it for 6 1/2 years, and it felt like it was getting harder and harder, and I was not getting any further ahead. I came up with an idea for a dystopian verse set in India, but I convinced myself it was a waste of time to write it. I asked Authoress and she said DO IT! So I did it. A year later, I realized that the book was not going to sell because it was missing something. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what that something was. I decided that it was time to give up completely, but Authoress encouraged me to take a break instead. So I walked away from everything, including my agent. During my break, I did a lot of not writing. Eventually, I took a new look at my book and finally found a way to fix the problem that had plagued me. I showed the new version to Authoress and she recommended it to an agent. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to re-enter the publishing rat-race, but I took a chance and sent it to that agent. Two hours later, I had representation for my book. A few months after that, I had a book deal with the editor of The Book Thief and Wonder (two of my favorite books of all time.) I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that Authoress is responsible for my having a book coming out on May 12th. It is absolutely because of her!

There are two points to my rambling (neither of which are related to Chardonnay): 1) to remind you how amazing the woman is who runs this blog you are now reading, and 2) to tell you that, although the writing life can be hard, if you surround yourself with wonderfully supportive people like Authoress, you will make it through to the other side, and you will have some great friends when you do!

And now for the contest details!

To celebrate the launch of 5 TO 1 and give back to the writing community, my agent and I are giving away 5 + 1 prizes:

• 5 critiques of your first 500 words from me, Holly Bodger
• 1 critique of your query from my agent, Lauren MacLeod

----

HOW TO ENTER:

1.  Use the hashtag #5to1 on Twitter to tweet ANYTHING that contains at least one of the following words:  KOYANAGAR, INDIA, DYSTOPIA, or HOLLY'S HAT.
2.  Tweet as many times as you'd like between now and midnight EDT on Friday, May 8.  REMEMBER TO USE THE HASHTAG #5to1, or we won't see your tweets!
3.  After you've tweeted, COME BACK TO THIS POST and LEAVE A COMMENT that says, "I've tweeted 5to1!"  (You may do this each time you tweet.)
4.  The 5 winners of the critique from Holly will be randomly selected from the #5to1 tweets.
5.  The query critique from Lauren MacLeod will be randomly selected from the comments here.

The more often you tweet/comment, the better your chances of winning!

I will announce the 5 + 1 winners on Tuesday, May 12 -- 5 to 1's release day.

Aaaaaaand....go!