Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Logline Critique Round #13

TITLE: Isabel Slate Makes the News
GENRE: MG Contemporary

A spunky kid journalist with a tendency to embellish the facts finally gets the chance to earn her byline. But first she must stop an ambitious local journalist—once her hero, now her foe—from stealing her biggest story yet.


  1. I know the term byline is correct, but I might change it to appeal to a MG audience who may not know what that is. Just a thought. What a fun story idea!

  2. I think you need to incite this story by telling us what happens that gives her this chance (and please name her, by the way). I also think it would help to know what kind of story this is. Is this political corruption? Gang-related murder? Food poisoning in the school cafeteria? As you can see from my examples, this specifics all make for a very different story!

    Good luck!

  3. I might define the story to show why an adult journalist would want to take it from her.

  4. Need, inciting incident, goal, obstacles
    Need: Not sure what it is?
    Inciting incident: something happens that gives her the chance to earn her byline: what? (As Holly said above)
    goal: to write the story/earn her byline
    obstacles: local journalist who wants to steal her story

    Analyzing the logline using Holly's template points to the need for some specifics re. her need & what the story revolves around. Sounds fun!

  5. Sounds like a neat story! I agree with the need to know what kind of news story she has to fight the adult journalist for. Good luck!

  6. It used to be that a news reporter worked hard not to "embellish the facts." You'd get fired for embellishing the facts. I'd delete that phrase from your logline and focus on the comments made here.

  7. I like this. Why is the journalist now her foe? What turned him/her into an enemy?