Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Logline Critique Round #14

TITLE: Pale Green Light
GENRE: YA Science Fiction

When Maya Norris sneaks into a massive underground chamber only to be trapped with vicious dinosaurs, she must embrace the chamber's secret before the chamber becomes her grave.


  1. Well, first we need to know why she would do this. Is it an accident or is she actually trying to see these dinosaurs? After that, be more specific about what she has to do. Embracing a secret is not a tangible goal I can see. If I had to guess, I'd say that she needs to find the secret to getting out or something like that.

    Good luck!

    1. Thank you Holly! I have one question, if you will. When writing a YA log-line, is it necessary to mention the protagonist's age? Or does identifying the work as YA sufficiently infer that the MC is a teenager?

  2. Cute! But yeah, why does she sneak in there? Does she have to embrace the secrets or learn what they are in order to get out before she is eaten?

    Also, YA needs an age…16-year-old Maya…

  3. I like this premise, but need to understand why she would do something like that. Embracing a secret is hard for me to understand--do you mean she needs to find the secret in order to escape?

  4. thanks to everyone for your comments! So very helpful :-)

  5. A secret chamber with dinosaurs! Squee! I'd read it just for that. I do agree that the secret should be a little clearer tho.