Are You Hooked? First Page #3

Genre: Middle Grade

Prologue




A small and unremarkable boy stood atop a snowy, rock strewn precipice of a rugged mountain. Tears streamed down his semi-frozen cheeks, and his head hung low. Only ten years had passed since he first came here as an infant with his father who had taken in his arms, and held him to the heavens.


The small boy now stood on the same spot, wearing buckskin leggings and moccasins. In his hand he held a well worn doll-a gift from his father that day so many years before-the day his entire family died.


The boy raised his face to the sky and shouted, his heart about to burst. The tiny doll crushed in his hand, he held it to the heavens, and shouted once more.


He dropped to his knees, and the tears flowed. He loosened his grip on the doll, and let it drop. It landed and slid, then plummeted over the edge into the great chasm beneath. He threw himself forward, but could only watch in horror as his most prize possession dropped toward the violent water of the river below.


"Atsah!", he cried. At this he heard a loud shriek behind him and a huge rush of wings and air as something swooped over his shoulder and dove over the cliff. What appeared to be a giant eagle propelled itself downward faster and faster, and snatched the little doll from the air just as it was about to be swallowed by the raging torrent.

The massive bird twisted gracefully, and shot into the air with such power and strength that it reached and passed the awestruck boy in a matter of seconds. It rose higher until with its beak pointed skyward, it ceased flapping its wings, let out an ear-splitting shriek, and with a swift twist, dematerialized into a wisp of smoke.

Astonished, the boy stared to the sky and the spot where the giant eagle vanished. A small thump at his feet drew his gaze. There, as though he had never let it out of his sight, lay his precious doll.

Are You Hooked? First Page #2

Genre: YA historical fiction.


Title: Valley of Green and Gold

Knee-high stalks rustled against Nora's skirts as she tore through the wheat field. Over her panting breath, she could hear the plants whispering you're late, you're late. Two years she'd been waiting for this, and now she was about to miss it.



The winter air burned her lungs, but she kept running. She cleared the field, passed the lone hemlock, and raced around the side of the house to find everyone waiting in the yard.



"I was about to leave without you," Papa called from the wagon seat.



"Sorry—" She stopped to catch her breath, about to say she'd been playing with Adsila. "Sorry I was late."



"No harm done," Mama said, pulling Nora's bonnet onto her head. As she tied the ribbon beneath her chin, she winked at Nora. Nora hid a smile; Mama knew what she was up to, and who she'd been with.



"Can I go, too?" Isaac asked, running to grab Nora's skirt.



"It's Nora's turn," Mama said. "You can go to town when you're older."



"But I am older," he said as Mama pulled him out of the wagon's way.



"Older than five," Papa said with a grin. When Nora had settled next to him, he flicked Cyclone's reins. "We'll be back before dark."



Nora squealed as the horse lurched forward. "I can't believe I'm going to Coloma! You always said it was no place for a girl." She grabbed at the seat as the wagon bounced over a stone.

Are You Hooked? First Page #1

Genre: YA



When I woke up this morning, I had no plans to skip class. Sure, I wasn’t exactly ecstatic about jumping to a new school in a new neighborhood weeks before the end of the year, or leaving my friends behind. But when your parents split, that’s how the cheese rolls.

It’s just too bad it rolled into a senior’s care facility.

Not that I can really blame Mom for that. Pickings were pretty slim for an elderly care specialist who’d taken 13 years off to be a mom. I’m not so self-absorbed to realize she had to take what she could to support the two of us. Palm Estates offered a live-in job, close to a school, with a condo price tag she could afford.

It’s just life isn’t all cake, living in a building full of seniors. Calls come in at all hours, complaining about all sorts of ailments. In the last week, I’d learned way more than I’d ever hoped to about what happens to the body when it reaches the down slope of Ol’ Faithful. Aches, pains, mysterious rashes….no way was I getting old. Nuh-uh.

Mom had tried to get me pumped up about this place by highlighting the outdoor pool. You know, the whole hang-with-your-friends deal. I pointed out that having a bunch of eighty-year-olds in saggy suits didn’t exactly incite my desire to have people over for a pool party.

But whatever.

Would I rather live somewhere else? Sure. But if ‘somewhere else’ was back at my old house with my control freak dad, then no way. In my mind, option B was way worse that having old people for neighbors.

Are You Hooked: RULES OF PLAY!

A warm, enthusiastic THANK YOU to all our brave, dedicated fellow writers who have opted to share their first pages with us.



Now, pretend you are in your favorite bookstore, double latte in one hand. You are perusing this and that bookshelf, picking up the titles that spark your interest.



You read the first page of each story you pick up, and wham! It's either grabbed you by the heartstrings and half your brain, or it leaves you flat.



It's that initial impression that you need to leave in the comment boxes of the first pages posted here today. Post a resounding YES if the page has left you panting for more. Post a tactful NO if it didn't -- and please share why.



I know I don't have to remind you to be kind. You never know when you might be next on the chopping block.



Okay! Without further ado...

Last Minute Reminder!

You still have time to submit your first page for our first Are You Hooked? I will accept pages until 9:00 AM EDT on Thursday (tomorrow), and will then post the pages on Thursday afternoon.

Remember that this is all about constructive feedback, so even if you haven't sent in a page for critique, please be sure to cast your "yes" and "no" votes on Thursday!