Hello, tribe!
Thanks to those of you who left feedback for our Tense Change Challenge this week. Admittedly, response was pretty low. It's a busy time, though -- lots of people on vacation and whatnot. Still, I wish the participating authors had received more feedback. If we do this again, I promise not to schedule it during prime vacation month!
Here's my question of the day: WHY--and I seriously mean WHY--do you think our characters feel SO VERY REAL to us while we write?
I know it's universal among writers. We all feel a strong connection to our characters, and they evoke real emotions in us (and hopefully for our readers). But WHY? Why is it SO VERY PRONOUNCED?
I am revising something right now that's been a part of my life for years, and has undergone some big-time changes. But the characters have remained who they always have been, and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. It's almost a physical ache.
I'd love to hear your thoughts! The comment box is open--come on in and grab a cup of coffee or a cold drink. I know you've got a few things to say about this!
Miss Snark's First Victim
Friday, July 31, 2015
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Happy Addendum to One of Our Success Stories!
I'm delighted to bring you this story from BOTH points of view -- author and agent!
I posted Alexandra's original success story in January. Here's the happy update from Alexandra Ballard and Kent D. Wolf:
FROM ALEXANDRA:
I have some great news to share with you! As you know, back in December I had the good fortune to be a part of the Baker’s Dozen auction. Through that contest I “won” my amazing agent Kent Wolf, who spent the winter helping me revise my YA novel and prepare it for submission. We sent The Art of Losing out to publishers at the end of May, and three weeks later we sold it, at auction, in a two-book deal to Joy Peskin at FSG (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux), with a release date of winter, 2017. It has all been so exciting and I am so grateful to you, Authoress, for everything that you do for writers. It is so great to know that we have someone like you out there, helping to make stories like mine possible.
FROM KENT:
From the moment I read Alexandra's entry I knew that her novel was going to be something special. The voice, the writing--IT WAS THERE. I felt it in my agent DNA. It's rare for me to have that kind of instant reaction so come auction day I was chomping at the bit. However, just minutes before the start of bidding my computer froze! By the time I rebooted the manuscript had been won. Not only did I have to wait a week to see Alexandra's novel, but I had to suffer through the agent trash talking. OMG THE TRASH TALKING! My Twitter account almost withered and died.
Long story short, I finally got my grubby paws on the book, read it, fell in love, wooed Alexandra, and fended off the trash talkers. But here's the best part: not only did Alexandra trust my editorial suggestions, she turned around a MAJOR revision within weeks and knocked it out of the park her first try. She makes it look so easy. I'm pleased as punch that she's found a home with Joy Peskin at FSG. And thank you Authoress for bringing us together!!
I posted Alexandra's original success story in January. Here's the happy update from Alexandra Ballard and Kent D. Wolf:
FROM ALEXANDRA:
I have some great news to share with you! As you know, back in December I had the good fortune to be a part of the Baker’s Dozen auction. Through that contest I “won” my amazing agent Kent Wolf, who spent the winter helping me revise my YA novel and prepare it for submission. We sent The Art of Losing out to publishers at the end of May, and three weeks later we sold it, at auction, in a two-book deal to Joy Peskin at FSG (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux), with a release date of winter, 2017. It has all been so exciting and I am so grateful to you, Authoress, for everything that you do for writers. It is so great to know that we have someone like you out there, helping to make stories like mine possible.
FROM KENT:
From the moment I read Alexandra's entry I knew that her novel was going to be something special. The voice, the writing--IT WAS THERE. I felt it in my agent DNA. It's rare for me to have that kind of instant reaction so come auction day I was chomping at the bit. However, just minutes before the start of bidding my computer froze! By the time I rebooted the manuscript had been won. Not only did I have to wait a week to see Alexandra's novel, but I had to suffer through the agent trash talking. OMG THE TRASH TALKING! My Twitter account almost withered and died.
Long story short, I finally got my grubby paws on the book, read it, fell in love, wooed Alexandra, and fended off the trash talkers. But here's the best part: not only did Alexandra trust my editorial suggestions, she turned around a MAJOR revision within weeks and knocked it out of the park her first try. She makes it look so easy. I'm pleased as punch that she's found a home with Joy Peskin at FSG. And thank you Authoress for bringing us together!!
Monday, July 27, 2015
Tense Change Challenge -- How It Works
Here we go!
Six excerpts, written in 2 different tenses, have posted. Read both versions of each, and share your thoughts about which tense you feel works better for the story--and why.
For each excerpt, the author's original tense is first, followed by my rewritten version in the tense of the author's choice. I have taken the liberty to correct punctuation and paragraph breaks in my edited versions, but have not changed the author's words in any substantial way, other than to change the verb tense.
Have fun! This was certainly fun on my end (call me quirky, but I like playing with verbs).
ENTRANTS: Please take the time to leave feedback on at least 2 of the other entries, as your way of giving back.
Go to it!
Six excerpts, written in 2 different tenses, have posted. Read both versions of each, and share your thoughts about which tense you feel works better for the story--and why.
For each excerpt, the author's original tense is first, followed by my rewritten version in the tense of the author's choice. I have taken the liberty to correct punctuation and paragraph breaks in my edited versions, but have not changed the author's words in any substantial way, other than to change the verb tense.
Have fun! This was certainly fun on my end (call me quirky, but I like playing with verbs).
ENTRANTS: Please take the time to leave feedback on at least 2 of the other entries, as your way of giving back.
Go to it!
Tense Change Challenge #6
TITLE: Crazy in Love
GENRE: YA Contemporary
This is the first 250 words - POV alternates between Jamie and Molly.
THIRD PERSON PAST (original):
The lass was flat on her back and passed out on drugs. Jamie McDonald tried to sneak a peek at her, the sheet covering her had moved to hide her face. All he could see was her long locks of curly brown hair. The ambulance technicians rolled her stretcher down the women’s corridor on Ward Eight. I wonder if she’s my age.
Jamie’s heart pounded at the thought of someone new. Anyone new would be a distraction from the mundane days at this hospital. Please, be my age. Maybe I can finally make a friend here. He dashed over to Nurses’ Station pushing past Nigel and Ronnie on the way. Rose, the charge nurse, was behind the desk. Jamie drummed a random beat on the desk faster than a band playingWipeout. Rose glared at his hands and he stuffed them in his pockets. I better calm down or they’ll try to sedate me. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Hullo,” Jamie said to Rose, trying to be casual, “Who’s the new patient?” At first, Rose didn’t say anything and Jamie could guess why. She’s always going on about patient confidentiality. And she knows I’ve tried this before.
But he was wrong. “I’m glad you stopped by, Jamie. Our new patient, Molly, is a wee bit younger than you. This is her first time in hospital. I was thinking of asking you to be her guide."
FIRST PERSON PAST:
The lass was flat on her back and passed out on drugs. I tried to sneak a peek at her; the sheet covering her had moved to hide her face. All I could see was her long locks of curly brown hair. The ambulance technicians rolled her stretcher down the women’s corridor on Ward Eight. I wondered if she was my age.
My heart pounded at the thought of someone new. Anyone new would be a distraction from the mundane days at this hospital. Please, be my age. Maybe I could finally make a friend here.
I dashed over to Nurses’ Station, pushing past Nigel and Ronnie on the way. Rose, the charge nurse, was behind the desk. I drummed a random beat on the desk faster than a band playing Wipeout. Rose glared at my hands, and I stuffed them into my pockets. I'd better calm down or they’ll try to sedate me.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Hullo,” I said, trying to be casual, “Who’s the new patient?”
At first, Rose didn’t say anything, and I guessed why. She was always going on about patient confidentiality. And I’d tried this before.
But I was wrong.
“I’m glad you stopped by, Jamie," Rose said. "Our new patient Molly is a wee bit younger than you. This is her first time in hospital. I was thinking of asking you to be her guide."
GENRE: YA Contemporary
This is the first 250 words - POV alternates between Jamie and Molly.
THIRD PERSON PAST (original):
The lass was flat on her back and passed out on drugs. Jamie McDonald tried to sneak a peek at her, the sheet covering her had moved to hide her face. All he could see was her long locks of curly brown hair. The ambulance technicians rolled her stretcher down the women’s corridor on Ward Eight. I wonder if she’s my age.
Jamie’s heart pounded at the thought of someone new. Anyone new would be a distraction from the mundane days at this hospital. Please, be my age. Maybe I can finally make a friend here. He dashed over to Nurses’ Station pushing past Nigel and Ronnie on the way. Rose, the charge nurse, was behind the desk. Jamie drummed a random beat on the desk faster than a band playingWipeout. Rose glared at his hands and he stuffed them in his pockets. I better calm down or they’ll try to sedate me. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Hullo,” Jamie said to Rose, trying to be casual, “Who’s the new patient?” At first, Rose didn’t say anything and Jamie could guess why. She’s always going on about patient confidentiality. And she knows I’ve tried this before.
But he was wrong. “I’m glad you stopped by, Jamie. Our new patient, Molly, is a wee bit younger than you. This is her first time in hospital. I was thinking of asking you to be her guide."
FIRST PERSON PAST:
The lass was flat on her back and passed out on drugs. I tried to sneak a peek at her; the sheet covering her had moved to hide her face. All I could see was her long locks of curly brown hair. The ambulance technicians rolled her stretcher down the women’s corridor on Ward Eight. I wondered if she was my age.
My heart pounded at the thought of someone new. Anyone new would be a distraction from the mundane days at this hospital. Please, be my age. Maybe I could finally make a friend here.
I dashed over to Nurses’ Station, pushing past Nigel and Ronnie on the way. Rose, the charge nurse, was behind the desk. I drummed a random beat on the desk faster than a band playing Wipeout. Rose glared at my hands, and I stuffed them into my pockets. I'd better calm down or they’ll try to sedate me.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Hullo,” I said, trying to be casual, “Who’s the new patient?”
At first, Rose didn’t say anything, and I guessed why. She was always going on about patient confidentiality. And I’d tried this before.
But I was wrong.
“I’m glad you stopped by, Jamie," Rose said. "Our new patient Molly is a wee bit younger than you. This is her first time in hospital. I was thinking of asking you to be her guide."
Tense Change Challenge #5
I originally wrote this ms in first person past tense, then switched to present tense. But I’m not sure, especially for middle grade, if present tense is a good idea. Or even first person.
TITLE: THE SECRET AT SEACHASE
GENRE: MG MYSTERY
Thirteen-year-old Ellie McCoy has just learned that some of the foreign snow cone vendors at the island’s adventure park are victims of a labor trafficking scheme. The boss has taken notice of Ellie’s meddling, and has made plans to export the undocumented workers before his crime is discovered.
FIRST PERSON PRESENT (original):
Sonia stumbles through the open door into the building. Natalia jumps up to catch Sonia before she falls.
In the doorway, Mr. Misaros’ smooth scalp glows yellow from the outside fixture. “Natalia. Good. Nobody at the apartment knew where I could find you.”
Natalia wraps an arm around Sonia and backs into me, pinning my head against the wall. My first impulse is to struggle. But then I relax. If I’m hidden, Dad won’t find out that I came here tonight.
Mr. Misaros says something to the girls. I don’t understand a word. Bulgarian, I guess. He ducks out and slams the door behind him. On the outside of the ice house, metal scrapes against metal.
“What was that about?” I whisper.
Sonia slumps against one of the snow cone carts.
“Mr. Lukas coming tonight. He take us away.” Natalia picks the pizza up off the floor and tosses it into the box.
“Why?” I ask.
“You ask too many questions.”
“No, I don’t. Where will he take you?”
“Anywhere he wants. Nobody will look for us.” Her face is more unsmiling than ever.
“I would.”
“How? You think you’ll get away?”
“I don’t work for Mr. Misaros.”
“Didn’t you hear him bolt the door? We’re locked in,” Natalia says.
I hold my hands out. “But my dad’s going to start looking for me. I have to go. I left my dog outside alone. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
“Ha,” Natalia says.
THIRD PERSON PAST:
Sonia stumbled through the open door into the building. Natalia jumped up to catch Sonia before she fell.
In the doorway, Mr. Misaros’s smooth scalp glowed yellow from the outside fixture. “Natalia. Good. Nobody at the apartment knew where I could find you.”
Natalia wrapped an arm around Sonia and backed into Ellie, pinning her head against the wall. Ellie's first impulse was to struggle. But then she relaxed. If she stayed hidden, Dad wouldn’t find out that she came here tonight.
Mr. Misaros said something to the girls. Ellie didn't understand a word. Bulgarian, she guessed. He ducked out and slammed the door behind him. On the outside of the ice house, metal scraped against metal.
“What was that about?” Ellie whispered.
Sonia slumped against one of the snow cone carts.
“Mr. Lukas coming tonight. He take us away.” Natalia picked the pizza up off the floor and tossed it into the box.
“Why?” I asked.
“You ask too many questions.”
“No, I don’t. Where will he take you?”
“Anywhere he wants. Nobody will look for us.” Her face was more unsmiling than ever.
“I would.”
“How? You think you’ll get away?”
“I don’t work for Mr. Misaros.”
“Didn’t you hear him bolt the door? We’re locked in,” Natalia said.
Ellie held her hands out. “But my dad’s going to start looking for me. I have to go. I left my dog outside alone. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
“Ha,” Natalia said.
TITLE: THE SECRET AT SEACHASE
GENRE: MG MYSTERY
Thirteen-year-old Ellie McCoy has just learned that some of the foreign snow cone vendors at the island’s adventure park are victims of a labor trafficking scheme. The boss has taken notice of Ellie’s meddling, and has made plans to export the undocumented workers before his crime is discovered.
FIRST PERSON PRESENT (original):
Sonia stumbles through the open door into the building. Natalia jumps up to catch Sonia before she falls.
In the doorway, Mr. Misaros’ smooth scalp glows yellow from the outside fixture. “Natalia. Good. Nobody at the apartment knew where I could find you.”
Natalia wraps an arm around Sonia and backs into me, pinning my head against the wall. My first impulse is to struggle. But then I relax. If I’m hidden, Dad won’t find out that I came here tonight.
Mr. Misaros says something to the girls. I don’t understand a word. Bulgarian, I guess. He ducks out and slams the door behind him. On the outside of the ice house, metal scrapes against metal.
“What was that about?” I whisper.
Sonia slumps against one of the snow cone carts.
“Mr. Lukas coming tonight. He take us away.” Natalia picks the pizza up off the floor and tosses it into the box.
“Why?” I ask.
“You ask too many questions.”
“No, I don’t. Where will he take you?”
“Anywhere he wants. Nobody will look for us.” Her face is more unsmiling than ever.
“I would.”
“How? You think you’ll get away?”
“I don’t work for Mr. Misaros.”
“Didn’t you hear him bolt the door? We’re locked in,” Natalia says.
I hold my hands out. “But my dad’s going to start looking for me. I have to go. I left my dog outside alone. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
“Ha,” Natalia says.
THIRD PERSON PAST:
Sonia stumbled through the open door into the building. Natalia jumped up to catch Sonia before she fell.
In the doorway, Mr. Misaros’s smooth scalp glowed yellow from the outside fixture. “Natalia. Good. Nobody at the apartment knew where I could find you.”
Natalia wrapped an arm around Sonia and backed into Ellie, pinning her head against the wall. Ellie's first impulse was to struggle. But then she relaxed. If she stayed hidden, Dad wouldn’t find out that she came here tonight.
Mr. Misaros said something to the girls. Ellie didn't understand a word. Bulgarian, she guessed. He ducked out and slammed the door behind him. On the outside of the ice house, metal scraped against metal.
“What was that about?” Ellie whispered.
Sonia slumped against one of the snow cone carts.
“Mr. Lukas coming tonight. He take us away.” Natalia picked the pizza up off the floor and tossed it into the box.
“Why?” I asked.
“You ask too many questions.”
“No, I don’t. Where will he take you?”
“Anywhere he wants. Nobody will look for us.” Her face was more unsmiling than ever.
“I would.”
“How? You think you’ll get away?”
“I don’t work for Mr. Misaros.”
“Didn’t you hear him bolt the door? We’re locked in,” Natalia said.
Ellie held her hands out. “But my dad’s going to start looking for me. I have to go. I left my dog outside alone. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
“Ha,” Natalia said.
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