Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Drop The Needle 12

Title: The Willow

Genre: General Fiction


Grandma used to joke that Grandpa had two thumbs: one black from reading the paper and one green from the garden.

"Sam,” he would say, holding up a handful of dirt. “Don't ever buy that crap they bag up and sell in stores. Plants were meant to grow in the land, and Virginia is rich. Taste it.”

Together we'd take a pinch full and place it on our tongues.

"What does that taste like?”

"Earth.”

"Exactly, no pesticides or fertilizers necessary. Just Mother Nature, kiddo.”

I'd grin and he'd grin, and I'd feel special.


"Sam!” he called out as I rode past his house on the way home from my first day of high school.

"What's up?” I asked and jumped off the bike to walk across the dirt that made up his yard. Grandpa never planted grass. He thought it was a menace, the ultimate weed, corrupting society into thinking it was necessary.

"How was school?”

I groaned.

"Come on,” he said, slapping my back. “I've got a present for you.”

I followed him to the shed and waited outside as he went in. He returned, handing over a bag of dirt with a few long twigs sticking out.

"Thanks,” I said, “But what is it?”

"It is a fitting gift for a future botanist.”

I stared at the twigs, waiting for further explanation.

"Gah!” He threw his hands up it the air. “Take it home, and when you've figured out what it is, call me.”

14 comments:

  1. I think grandpa is the secondary character, and he is quite a character! Made me laugh :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I absolutely love this. Great show of the grandfather, and a really good opening by Grandma's joke. As far as the drop the needle-idea was meant (as I interpret it), you mailed it with this scene.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I mean you Nailed it. sorry,

    ReplyDelete
  4. I critted this elsewhere, and I still think it's very solid. Grandpa is very interesting and I feel like I know him.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I still love this piece. Grandpa seems well-developed in just this short scene. I really get a feel for his love of life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. [laughs over the last paragraph]

    Grandpa is a real card, isn't he. Nice job portraying him. He's nice with the right kind of edge to him. Sounds right.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nice. Grandpa has to be the secondary character. You've given him some personality. Me likes!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Definitely a good picture painted of the grandfather and his character, plus the relationship the two of them have.

    (But maybe use a stronger transition from the memory to the present scene.)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I've read this elsewhere, and I still love it. Grandpa is a wonderful SC. His dialogue, attitude, and actions all make him rounded and engaging.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'd say the grandfather is the SC. He comes across as a lovable old man with a pet obsession.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Grandpa is a great character. He really comes alive--his personality shines through and his dialogue fits with how he's been described.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yup. Grandpa works for me.

    Don't most grandpas have 2 thumbs though? *snort*

    ReplyDelete
  13. Grandpa reminded me of MY papa. :) Good character!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Nicely done.




    jerzegurl

    ReplyDelete