Wednesday, February 25, 2015

First Five Sentences #25

TITLE: Joanna Love's Stories
GENRE: literary fiction

“The window was my favourite place to sit on a Saturday morning. The glass swirled, a gentle vortex, with bubbles suspended like jewels. Big and small. Winding patterns, like anaesthetic.”

“Tell me again,” said Grace.

12 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think this matches with the genre nicely. And I'm there, by the window, but the imagery is a little hard to follow. I think you're almost there. What really tripped me up is 'winding patterns, like anesthetic." I get what you mean, but the way it's worded tripped me up. Literary fiction definitely gives you room to play with words, but these were too confusing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comments, Christa. I shall digest them with a cup of tea and a marshmallow.

      Delete
    2. Thank you for your comments, Christa. I shall digest them with a cup of tea and a marshmallow.

      Delete
  3. It felt literary. The only thing that tripped me up was the quotation marks around the first paragraph. I don't know whether they were sitting by the window or someone was telling Grace about sitting by a window. If it's the latter, then I'm not sure I'm grounded since I can't see what's going on right now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the comments. We open with Joanna Love beginning one of her stories. They are in a psychiatric hospital. Grace is a psychiatrist.

      Delete
  4. It also felt literary to me as well. I wasn't clear on what was happening with the window but would love to be sitting by it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Thanks, Casey - please refer to the above reply. Good to know that I'm hitting the genre.

      Delete
  5. Agree with above...nice for the genre...but not sure at all who is talking in the opening line??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, GW. Hope all is clear from the above replies. Difficult to build mystery in five sentences. But general consensus is VERY useful.

      Delete
  6. I am belated here and for that I am sorry. I think it is a perfectly pleasant opening but it doesn't catch me so much as wanting to now look out my own window. It fits the genre fine but it doesn't engage me immediately

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am belated here and for that I am sorry. I think it is a perfectly pleasant opening but it doesn't catch me so much as wanting to now look out my own window. It fits the genre fine but it doesn't engage me immediately

    ReplyDelete