Wednesday, February 11, 2015

First Kiss #23


13-year-old Katie, the reluctant star of a teen reality tv show, has been spending time with her cute production assistant, Peter.

Peter hurried on. “I’ve been thinking. I’d really like you to meet my grandfather. I think you’ll like each other a lot. And he’s probably the most important person in my life. Maybe you can have lunch with us in the city next Saturday? We can make a day of it. Museum maybe? Central Park? Macaroons?”

Now I was sure he really liked me. I knew how much he loved and respected his grandfather.

“I’d love to. I’d be honored! I mean, assuming my parents will let me, that is. But I bet they will. One great thing that has come out of this for me is that they see that I can be responsible and mature about stuff.”

“That’s true, for sure.” He took a deep breath. “ Which brings me to my next question.” He stopped, took another deep breath and then looked me straight in the eye. He picked up my hand and held it. Then, he put his other hand on my cheek and leaned forward.

A thousand thoughts and feelings flashed through my brain in a second.

I couldn’t believe what was happening. I didn’t say a word. I just stood there and looked back into his eyes.

And then, slowly and gently, he kissed me.

My first kiss.

A real kiss.

I closed my eyes, and hoped it would go on forever.

I could not wait to tell Susie!


  1. Wishing it would go on forever and thinking about telling Susie are like polar opposites emotion wise. Maybe she could think that after he leaves the room? Kiss and tell is still smarmy even when a girl does it.

  2. I'm going to disagree with Julie (sorry!). When I read this, I thought that telling a close friend seemed very age appropriate for middle grade. :)

  3. I am going to agree with both Julie and Ann. I think she should savor the moment of her first kiss then think of telling Susie. Maybe on her way home, etc...

  4. What a fun read. I love that she wanted to race to tell her friend. I was wondering why there aren't contractions in the narrative. It was a bit jarring, so was the phrase "he picked up my hand" something about that made me stop and think about the mechanics of having my hand held versus a seamless detail that melds with the other words.


  5. That seemed abrupt to me. How do you go from an invitation, not knowing if the guy likes you to a kiss? I would have liked a nice transition here. To follow the discussion, it is definitely age appropriate, and the voice is right, but that kiss was a little disappointing.

  6. I'm also going to agree with both Ann and Julie, I think a little longer of her just experiencing the kiss, but it is middle-grade so I don't think it has to be too long after for her to think about telling Suzie. Maybe just when he pulls back from the kiss? Or something like that.

  7. Um, is Peter about the same age as Katie? If so, you need to make that clear in the introductory remarks.