TITLE: The Dragon and the Enchanted Kingdom
I have rewritten/edited several times. It has been short listed with one editor and received good responses from two others. Yet it is still rejected. Timing seems off somewhere and ending kinda lame. Any advice would be wonderful. Thanks.
Horns are trumpeted all around for some heroes to be found.
A call goes out across the land -- Help is needed!
10 -- Ten beautiful fairies fly over â€¦
9 -- Nine guardian dwarves marching in rows of three. Who meet up with â€¦
8 -- Eight ornery elves driving a wagon full of hay. For â€¦
7 -- Seven knights brave and strong riding on armored horses. Who are busy
6 -- Six lively pixies mounted on squirrels skittering from tree to tree. Trying
to avoid --
5 -- Five gnomes with pointed hats. Who are sidesteppingâ€¦.
4 -- Four white unicorns charging up the hill. In front of â€¦
3 -- Three feisty leprechauns with clovers standing tall. Who have hidden
their pots of gold from--
2 -- Two human children
All have gathered together to defeat--
1 -- One mean, vicious, smoke rolling, fire spitting, soot blackened, red eyed
dragon. She has flown into the kingdom and claimed it as her own.
The dragon takes to the air as the battle begins; her powerful wings whipping up dirt
and debris. The falling dust covering everything with a layer of filth as far as the eye can
The dragon puts up a fierce fight, challenging all who come near. She uses her fire
breath to scorch wings and burn hats; smoke wagons and blacken armor. Shrieks of
surprise and then shouts of joy can be heard.
When the dust settles true heroes can be found in--
10 -- Ten dirty fairies limping off the field.
9 -- Nine guardian dwarfs dragging the--
8 -- Eight ornery elves. In front of--
7 -- Seven knights brave and strong hanging onto armored horses. Who are still
6 -- Six pixies sitting astride tired squirrels. They are shuffling in front of--
5 -- Five gnomes with hats a smoking. Who are trying to stay out of the way of--
4 -- Four brown unicorns walking down the hill. In front of --
3 -- Three tired leprechauns with clovers bent and wilting. All have cleared a
2 -- Two human children carrying--
1 -- One large blackened pot on wooden planks, full of the dragon's fire, with
Battered but not beaten; tired but not trampled the heroes have won. They have
defeated the dragon and have captured her fire.
Cheers can be heard throughout the land for now the kingdom is safe. Without her
fire, the dragon is no longer a mean and vicious beast. She is now a kinder, quieter ~ new