TITLE: The Dreamery, book 1
GENRE: YA Science Fiction
Set 50 years in the future when the recording of dreams is a big entertainment industry, a 16-yr-old orphan named Vibeka Sörendóttir gets accepted into The Dreamery. She can spin crazy-imaginative visions, but if she can’t keep her past trauma from surfacing as nightmares, she’ll lose her chance at stardom.
The Problem: I pantsed this thing and an now STUCK at 56K words, so close to the end. I feel like I only need about 3-4 more chapters to wrap it up. But the problem is: My. Story. Is. Boring.
Because I envisioned this as book 1 of a triology, much of the story is character building and showing her going through the technology of dream recording and production. The answer to "what does the MC want?" is currently: "She wants to become a successful, glamorous Dreamer so she'll never have to go back to her dead-end life." However, I have a mystery sub-plot around the nefarious intentions of the CEO of The Dreamery, who's trying to secure funds for his financially-strapped enterprise. Am feeling like that sub-plot kind of got away from me, and is making this less YA and more adult mystery.
Seems like the answer may be in the question: her past trauma. If she's worried about it coming up in her dreams, it's clearly not resolved yet. What's triggering it for her now? What would it take for her to get past it? Is her search for fame a misguided way to try and get what she needs emotionally?
ReplyDeleteYes, her trauma does resurface in her dreams, just not as much as I had originally intended. I like the suggestion to build up more of how her search for fame is a misguided attempt to get her emotional needs met. Love that, and it would fit right in. Thank you for the suggestion
DeleteIn the same way as above, perhaps The Dreamery plans to erase her past trauma from her brain. If we are the sum of our experiences, what will Vibeka be if that is taken away?
ReplyDeleteOoh, I like that Ikmar!
DeleteThat's an insightful suggestion. I don't know that The Dreamery would want to erase her trauma, though. The idea originally came to me when I was reading about the particular chemistry of schizophrenic brains that often leads to vivid dreams and visions. I decided not to make my MC schizophrenic, just traumatized by the death of her parents. But her ability to produce vivid dreams does hinge on her past emotional trauma. So the Dreamery is somewhat exploiting it. They are not letting her use her dreams as nature intended (to heal) but to entertain the masses. But I think this is what's gotten bogged down in the mystery subplot.
DeleteThis is such an imaginative concept, I love it! My advice would be to put some kind of ticking clock in the plot. Maybe add in a competitive element if it's not already in there? I like Shakier's suggestion of her past trauma resurfacing. I'm imagining her being in a reality competition like the Voice or something and she's been working so hard to keep her past trauma shoved down and then when she gets to the final round, Boom! She gets a visit from her mom/dad/abuser/whoever that was brought in by the production staff as a "prize" for winning a challenge. And then...what if after all that she has a nightmare and it's wildly popular?!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I would totally read this book. I hate to say it, though, but if you as the author are bored, then readers are definitely going to be bored. As hard as it is (believe me, I've been there), it sounds like you might need to go back during your revision and seriously look at the plot to make sure it's not bogged down too much by worldbuilding.
That's a really cool solution, yellow post-it!
DeleteSo, this is why I was hoping my last-minute submission would get on here. Thank you! I love that idea, and had been mulling it over, but wasn't sure if I was overthinking things. Right now, she's fighting back all that trauma for her Debut Dream (this is all Virtual Reality, btw, so these are dream worlds for the viewers to interact with). But I could change it up so that it's more of a competition to get into The Dreamery. Oh man. That means another re-write!
DeleteI also vote for some sort of ticking clock. I think that will really make the story more exciting and full of tension.
DeleteIs there an antagonist in the story? Who is trying to stop Vibecka from being a dreamstar, and why? If you don't have one, that could be why it's boring.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could add another dreamer who is in competition with Vibecka, who is always trying to sabotage her.
Or maybe she becomes the star she wants to be, and realizes stardom is really hell, but now she can't get out because she's sold her soul to the devil (figuratively.)
Currently, the other Dreamers are all older than she is (in their 20's) and are doing various passive-aggressive things to sabotage her because she is younger and booted out another Dreamer who was their friend. She's also nabbed the best Director and programmers, and is the Studio's darling, being fast-tracked for her Debut Dream. Her main antagonist is actually a mystery to her (and the reader, although hints build up) - and that is the studio's CEO. But his motivations are currently monetary, and I think that's what's making this story feel too adult and boring for YA. If I take your and most of these suggestions, I think I'll have something more like a competition to get in, which might be more exciting.
DeleteJust a thought...if she doesn't know the CEO is plotting against her, she can't fight back, which means no conflict and tension. Perhaps she should find out he is hampering her in some way?
DeleteHi, I love this premise. We have great ideas on this thread today. I'll talk more in terms of story arcs. If the arc over three books is your protag's success, then each book really needs its own subplot that ties up at the end. So I'd definitely suggest you go in and finish the mystery in book one. The mystery will have to be something that threatens to stop her from meeting her goal (ideally her goal in this book to inject the tension and excitement but it could also apply to her 3-book goal). In terms of the three-book arc, you still need to reach some kind of milestone in each book, with the reader knowing what she'll have to tackle in the next book.
ReplyDeleteThink of how Tolkien does it in LOTR. The goal over the three books is to destroy the ring, but the first book assembles the fellowship, they fight battles together, the antagonists are identified, some of whom are surprising, but finally Frodo comes to the realization that this is something he has to do alone (with Sam). At the end of the first book, Frodo has undergone major character transformation. He has found courage and purpose. And we know what he has to face next.
I'm not saying that you should mirror this, just using it as an example of how a three book arc can work using character development during phases of a major undertaking. The subplot mysteries in each will work to make each book tight and compelling to read. You could definitely make use of a competitor—someone who doesn't want her to succeed. A rival. I hope some of this helps!
Wow, this was so good for me to read. Yes, I completely agree, I DO need to think in terms of the three-book arc. I'm just starting to doubt in myself so much. Like, can I even get ONE book written? I'm questioning everything and I'm so close to the end. Maybe this is something every first time novelist experiences. I'm definitely going to go back to my 3-book outline and really look at things. Perhaps what I've written is book 2, and book 1 is a competition of her getting in?
DeleteWow! This sounds fascinating! You've gotten some great advice already, but the two things that come to mind when I read your description are: 1. obstacles and 2. plot structure. First, obstacles. Give her a ton. Don't make anything easy for her, ever. My writing partner calls me on this all the time. And obstacles are fun to write! One way I think about it (I don't know what this says about me as a person!) is, how can I make my character hurt today? The harder you make it, the more interesting it gets. And second, you don't mention story structure very much, but I've found that when I'm stuck it can really help to plug the big events of my story into a template and see if anything is missing. I really like the Save the Cat beat sheet (you can google it--there are tons of templates on the web for it), which is sort of a take on the Hero's Journey. It has always been super helpful to me, even if what I end up writing doesn't always end up fitting (which I think is good), it is a great way to get yourself thinking about your plot and how you can juice it up. Good luck!
ReplyDeletehow can I make my character hurt today - love it! Thanks so much!
DeleteHave you tried setting up the plot points as an adult mystery? Is there a reason it HAS to be YA?
ReplyDeleteI haven't! Is there an adult mystery plot point outline out there? I should look it up. Can you point me to one?
ReplyDeleteAfter I got a few chapters into this, I used a simplified 3-act story egg to structure, because I've found that not as restrictive as the Beat Sheet template. My problem seems to be following my outlines. Once I get into the characters, they make all kinds of different choices and say things I didn't expect.
I don't know that my novel has to be YA - I'm not sure it really is, as I currently have 5 chapters sprinkled throughout told from the MC's adult mentor. My alpha readers have so far given those chapters thumbs-up, but I don't know that I've ever read a YA novel that features an adult POV like this. That would be something else I'd love to get feedback on.
Some excellent suggestions here. Great concept.
ReplyDeleteWhat about making the "adult" mentor slightly younger and totally hot, like Four from Divergent? Then he could be a love interest and would skew the book back to YA.