This was a strong group of entries! You'll notice I made a lot of similar comments to many of you. In general, I think sometimes writers worry too much about getting a lot of information, action, and conflict into the first 250 words when it would be better to let the story start slower but focusing on making what's shown the very best writing it can be. If you give me a cool idea, or a great voice, or a conflict, I'll follow you, and a lot of these scenes would have benefited from "lingering" a little more.
In the winners below, I'm not requesting everything where I commented "I'd read more." That's because of my preferences and market conditions (there's no point in me requesting something I don't think I could sell or that has a premise I don't love), not because I didn't mean what I said in those comments. There's a difference for me between continuing to read in a document open in front of me and requesting something, and I'm pickier with my requests than if I'm reading! Anywhere I said "I'd read more," I think you're on the right track with your opening.
Thanks to everyone who entered -- this takes a lot of courage!
Ms. Bowman would like to see the query and first 10 pages of the following:
#1 -- Game Changer
#47 -- The Lucky Few
#50 -- Jane Unwrapped
Ms. Bowman would like to see the query, synopsis, and first 50 pages of the following:
#27 -- The Detective's Apprentice
#13 -- Romance on the High Seas
Congratulations, all! Winners, please email me at facelesswords(at)gmail.com for specific submission instructions.