Thursday, March 25, 2010

105 Literary Fiction

TITLE: The Secrets of Rare Moon Tickle
GENRE: Literary Fiction

The painted window on the left had a picture of lambs-blood stained doors, a protection for the faithful on the day of the Passover.

9 comments:

  1. I think it's a bit wordy for an opener.

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  2. Too much show, not enough tell. Also not a fan of the title

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  3. Semi-hooked. I'd expect longer sentences for literary fiction, so that doesn't turn me off.

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  4. A convoluted and poorly constructed sentence. The title hooked me, so I might read the second sentence.

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  5. I can't grasp the image of a window with a picture of a door. I guess the shutters or the window frame have a door painted upon them- but I can't see that. Sorry, not hooked.

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  6. I think this might read stronger if we were in the head of the person seeing the window/door - and getting his/her reaction.

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