Thursday, March 25, 2010

120 MG Fiction

TITLE: Liza Bird
GENRE: Contemporary Middle Grade Fiction


If I’d known how hard sixth grade was going to be, I might have come down with a life-threatening disease instead. It would’ve been easier.

19 comments:

  1. Hook! Out of my normal genre range, but I'm a compulsive reader. As I scanned the page for the next fantasy, this one caught my eye and had me tickled and grinning so much I had to stop and comment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This made me smile. I'd keep reading.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Partial hook -- 'the life-threatening disease' seems a bit out of voice for a 12-year-old, IMO.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hooked, but the voice sounds YA as opposed to MG. BoA nailed it again.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hooked. Love the voice, love that it gets right to the nasty reality of middle school for so many folks.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ho-hum. Not very interested to read on. A MC who thinks their problems are worse than a life-threatrening disease is a bit drama queeny for me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Some 6th graders are drama queeny. Hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Not sure about the life-threatening disease--does make her (?) seem shallow--but definitely we get a sense of voice and direction. So mostly hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Not a fan of the life-threatening disease line. It is melodramatic like a 6th grader would be, but it doesn't play right. I'm not hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think the voice is strong but the opener feels like you're treading on cliche. Still, I'd keep reading. This just 25 words, I'm sure you'd suck me in.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Strong voice and I'd keep reading. Not sure you need the last sentence. It's implied in the life-threatening disease that school was really, really tough. Think it's a great opening for your target audience.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I liked it, but maybe a specific (and very unlikely disease) would make this even stronger.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sorry but my middle grader rolled her eyes and said it was lame.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I was hooked, but I suspect this is the kind of opening that's used a lot. But hey, if it keeps getting used it must work, right? (Though clearly not on all MGers, as per Robbin's comment.)

    ReplyDelete