Thursday, March 25, 2010

80 YA

TITLE: My Unforgotten Diary
GENRE: YA


Dear Diary,

Today’s my birthday. THEY forgot again. How can your parents forget your birthday?

There was no cake or presents. I hate my life.

27 comments:

  1. I love this! This is my ultimate fear, as a parent, that this will be my child's thoughts. I would definitely read on!

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  2. The way the word "they" is written in caps is what picked up my curiosity. There is obviously something wrong with her relationship with her parents, something up with them. I would read on. :)

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  3. I think the set up of forgetting a birthday is good, but I think for diary entries to work over the course of a book, the voice needs to be strong and immediate, and I don't get a sense of either here.

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  4. Maybe. The writing is good and it will probably hook a lot of people, but personally it's just not doing much for me.

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  5. While I realize that it's likely true to genre, I take an immediate dislike to the narrator (particularly the "I hate my life" line.) I get that most YA readers will associate with it, but I'd not keep reading.

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  6. I like it, but am cautious about it becoming something I've seen before.

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  7. Sounds exactly like the movie, Sixteen Candles...not hooked...give me something different than Molly Ringwald in the 1980s

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  8. Not hooked -- I've got a 'woe is me' family member, so reading about a WIM character would be difficult for me.

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  9. I don't know. This sounds like another whiny teen. And the sentence structure is choppy. Not really a YA voice, but not really out of it, either. Just choppy. I don't know that I'd read on.

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  10. I dunno. I don't think I'd read on. It's the 'I hate my life' premise.

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  11. Maybe. It seems whiny. If that is going to be the main tone it wouldn't keep my distance. The first part works, but the second part is what turned me off.

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  12. I was also struck by the resemblance to the movie Sixteen Candles. That makes me balk.

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  13. You lost me on Dear Diary and the rest read like an old movie (16 Candles)

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  14. It just didn't do it for me, which is mostly personal preference.

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  15. Not looked. Not original. And I certainly don't care for the whinny character.

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  16. Oops my brain's frozen from critting too many of these. She's whiny not whinny.

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  17. No really compelling, so not particularly hooked at this point.

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  18. I'm not hooked—yet. I shared the concern about the diary opening–unless the whole book is written as a diary. And I had the same initial thought as another critter mentioned—this immediately made me think of 16 candles.

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  19. I do not like this at all, and I love YA. I've kept many diaries and never, not once, did I ever write, "Dear Diary" and then proceed, I just got into the kissing already.

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  20. I'm sorry, but all I could think of was the old Molly Ringwald movie, 16 Candles, and that made me think- I've already seen this. However, I'm middle-aged, not your target audience, so I'm probably not your best critiquer.

    Oh, and I did like that movie, BTW.

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  21. I don't think this is unique enough. Sorry!

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  22. OMG...Did you get my diary! LOVED IT!

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  23. I love the voice. I mean, I just adore it. That alone hooked me. I don't generally like diary/journal format books, but I would keep reading this one.

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  24. Not hooked, sorry. I can see it having an appeal but it didn't do much for me.

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  25. Not hooked. Diary writer, while justified, sounds whiny. It would annoy me for an entire book.

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  26. almost seems like a cliche--parent forgetting a birthday--since they forgot AGAIN meaning it's happened before then I would think there's much more serious stuff going on than forgetting a birthday--that would be what I'd be interested in...

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