Thursday, March 25, 2010

95 Chick Lit

TITLE: Material Possessions"
GENRE: Chic Lit


“I'm sorry, sir. I find no reservation in your name,” the clerk apologized but continued searching in the computer.


“You'll find it under my name

14 comments:

  1. Not hooked - not enough to go on.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry, not hooked. But the closest I'll get to Chic Lit is Sigourney Weaver in ALIENS! ㋡

    ReplyDelete
  3. This would be boring to experience, let alone to read about.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Not hooked, sorry. Give us a name, maybe, or a reason why it's so important to HAVE the reservation.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Not hooked, I'm getting the "why should I care?" feeling

    ReplyDelete
  6. You're setting up a problem (no reservation), and you start with action, so I think that's good. However, "the clerk apologized" is unnecessary. The clerk says, "I'm sorry." Cleaner to stop after "your name." Then: The clerk continued (staring at his computer screen? clicking his computer keys?).

    ReplyDelete
  7. Not hooked. You need something solid to start with. This seems like the middle of a story.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My first reaction was "Huh?" Not hooked.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Not hooked.

    I think maybe we're missing some information that comes in the next couple of sentences, but right now I'm a little confused: the clerk says there's no reservation in his name, and his response is to say "You'll find it under my name"? The clerk just said it's not there. Makes me think he's not really listening to her, and that'd irk me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm not hooked either. Twenty-five words is a pretty small number to hook the reader. I'm certain it gets more hooky in the next few lines.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Not hooked - completely uninteresting.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ChicK Lit is a genre - Chic Lit sounds like the title of an article in Vogue :)

    Not hooked - there's nothing happening. What makes this person's reservation being lost unique?

    ReplyDelete