Not hooked. Who WOULDN'T be tired of working in a field picking cotton and corn and tobacco? Maybe if it started out with more description of the "tired"...
I think you set up context really well but I'm not hooked. I know it's a letter but it's "telling." Which is a point of a letter, but if I were a kid, would I care?
I'd keep reading. This made me smile.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. Who WOULDN'T be tired of working in a field picking cotton and corn and tobacco? Maybe if it started out with more description of the "tired"...
ReplyDeleteYes, definitely hooked.
ReplyDeleteHooked...
ReplyDeleteCongrats! Hooked!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, I'm hooked. I really like this one and wish there had been more to read.
ReplyDeleteHooked. Good job of showing immediately what the story is.
ReplyDeleteI think you set up context really well but I'm not hooked. I know it's a letter but it's "telling." Which is a point of a letter, but if I were a kid, would I care?
ReplyDeleteNot really hooked. Sad, but not hooked. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked, sorry. It feels a bit too forced as a set-up and information.
ReplyDeleteThe letter format serves as a bit of an 'As you know, Bob.'info dump.
ReplyDeleteThe voice comes across as whiny too, which doesn't help me care for your MC.