Miss Snark's First Victim
I'd go along for a bit to see where the hole goes. I'd probably cut 'one day.'
Partial hook. I'd keep reading to find out more abut the hole.
I'd keep reading.
Partial hook. Sounds like it's starting with a flashback because the narrator is telling the reader about something that happened before this point in the story. If this is a flashback, then it's a big no-no.
I agree with Bane. :-)
Quasi-hooked. Wanna know more. Potential to wander off bored very shortly, though, if I don't fall into that hole. As it were.
Exactly what BoA said. Well done!
I'm not sure... the first sentence sounds like the discovery happened long before the beginning of the story. So the second sentence tells me this is a flashback. I'm not ultimately crazy about novels that begin with flashbacks. I'd rather see them jump right in to the protagonist, present, and the problem.
Oh dear...sniggering at possible double entendres. Ignore me.
I clunked at "one day", but I'd keep reading.
Partial hook. Need more detail on the hole. Why is this one especially interesting?
It depends a lot on what the book is about... I'm not entirely hooked yet, but I might read on to find out what the hole is.
Don't think the 'one day' is in the right spot.Either drop it or put it after 'hole'
For the purpose of this exercise, I'm not really hooked. However, I would certainly read more than 25 words in the bookstore, and I'm sure whatever comes next about the hole will be hooky :-)