Miss Snark's First Victim
Not hooked - but mostly because I don't really like the style.
'tinted' looks really contrived
Cute<: I think that 'tinted' could or should be 'colored' - only because that is a word most kidlets would know better. :)
Agree about "tinted."
Watch your meter 12-10-11...Could be a cute pb.
Love the visuals!
I agree about the tinted, but I like this.
I like it too. Pretty.
I'd like it better if it didn't rhyme. The first sentence grabs me. Then...the meter isn't perfect, tinted feels wrong for a child's voice, and I dropped out. Also, there's already ELMER, a book about a not-gray elephant. So I'd be more interested in something different about this elephant.
I liked it. I would read the story to my girls.
An elephant flew in my window today(yes)Bouncing me high off the bed where I lay(no - you don't mention landing so you can bounce so it's confusing)'tinted gray'(No. Picture book has pictures so you don't need words.)
Rhyming text is difficult to get 'just right'. Feel this is a little too sing-songy for my liking but I love the image of a flying elephant (and I assume it's lavender??) Not everyone counts syllables, but think it's worth noting that there's a discrepancy:Line 1= 11Line 2= 10Line 3= 11 You might have had 10 syllables in line 4 so that's a pattern in its own right...
I don't know enough about picture books to give any real comments, but so far I think so.
I think it's cute. I'd drop 'tinted' altogether 'His skin wasn't the usual gray'. My kids would listen to this
wow, I guess rhyme isn't the thing around here.Actually, the pattern is fine the way it is. The entire text reads in a pattern of 11-10-11-5, which is perfectly acceptable in poetry.
I think it's cute. My grandson would love it - an elephant and bouncing!
Ohh! I like it. I bet it's even better with the illustrations.
The meter is perfect, so I wouldn't worry about those inaccurate comments. I like it very much.
I don't know anything about PBs but the image is cute and I'd probably read on.
As a veteran of reading some pretty dreadful kids books to my kids, this I would gladly read if the rest made me smile as this opening does.