Thursday, March 25, 2010

76 YA UF

TITLE: Shoreline
GENRE: Young Adult Urban Fantasy

Jocelyn stared at the guy sitting across the table from her, wondering how he’d react later – when he was drowning.

35 comments:

  1. I think I remember this from a secret agent contest. I like this first line. I'd keep reading.

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  2. Hooked. Would read on. :)

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  3. Didn't like the use of the word 'guy' here. Could possibly be more appealing for the YA audience. They could be hooked, but not me.

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  4. Yeah, I'd keep reading. I want to know how they go from inside to drowning and how she knows... foresight?

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  5. I am so tired of angry, hostile, killing in YA adults...not hooked

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  6. I want more - now. Like where can I find this on a shelf.

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  7. I remember this. I also think 'guy' should be 'man.'

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  8. I also don't like "guy", but otherwise I like it

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  9. This interests me. I wonder if Jocelyn is some sort of supernatural aquatic creature. I'd keep reading.

    (I do agree that "guy" sounds a little odd here. I don't read much YA, but this makes the tone seem more like an adult book.)

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  10. I'm curious enough to keep reading. Good job!

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  11. I'm hooked. It starts casual and then, wait, WHO is Jocelyn? And why will he drown?

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  12. Hooked. I remember this from Secret Agent and I still like it. I want to read more.

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  13. Hooked. I'd definitely read more.

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  14. Hooked! I'd keep reading, for sure.

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  15. Hooked! I hear young adults using the word "guy" all the time referring to males, so the term seems appropriate here, unless Jocelyn is over 60.

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  16. The opening verb ("stared") feels a bit cliche, but the "drowning" bit makes me want to read more.

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  17. Hooked. But I agree with the guy comment. It threw me off. Nice tension in an opening line.

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  18. there's a lot of YA out there with MCs who can see someone's death before it happens. Take Bloomsbury's recent release Mark ( or The Mark...Something like that).

    Yet, despite this fact, I'm hooked. It's the voice that does it for me. Hopefully the rest of the novel is as strong as this opener.

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  19. Moderately hooked. I'd keep reading for a little while (couple pages to a chapter) to see if the book would really interest me.

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  20. I would keep reading. I like the YA voice.

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  21. Hooked. I'm curious to know what the book's about now!

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  22. I also remember this from a SA contest. I still like it. Hooked.

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  23. definitely hooked! "react later" already had me curious, foreshadowing something interesting to come. "when he was drowning" was really unexpected and pulled me in fast

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  24. I would definitely read on. This is a small thing, but somehow (for me), this would read stronger if the a was changed to a comma. Maybe because it would be a lighter touch.

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  25. Sorry - meant to say if the "DASH" was changed to a comma.

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  26. I love the nonchalance with which she envisions a murder. I'd definitely read on.

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  27. Nice and creepy. I'd read more.

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  28. At first I was thinking there was no way this could hook me, then you threw in drowning. I'm in for a page at least.

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  29. Foreshadowing some premonitionary ability perhaps?

    Interesting hook

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