Miss Snark's First Victim
Definitely wanna keep reading :D
The writing is nice, but I'm not really hooked.
I like the action of the moment, I would keep reading. :)
I would keep reading. Like the details like bare feet.
I like this voice. I'd read on. I also wonder who the girl is he's waiting for. Nice job.
Voice, details, the amount of imagery packed into so few words. I'd read on.
I liked the voice and details. I'd read a few more paras
Partially hooked -- it felt a bit disjointed, but it's nicely in the moment.
interesting, but not hooked
I like it. I think it could be stronger, but I do think I'd read on.
I'm definitely curious about what's going on here. I'd read on for sure. I like the bare feet detail too.
Not sure. I'm curious but I don't think I'd read on.
Not sure. Would read a little further.
Not really hooked but I'd give it a few more paragraphs.
This is great! I was hooked. Well done, IMHO.
I'm with Casey. Maybe.
Love your voice--hooked me in.
Not hooked. I'm thinking a guy and his car and his girlfriend?
Not hooked, but curious and would keep reading further. But if it's MG and he can drive... you got some explaining to do!
Not really, since I'm a bit confused (a diesel WHAT? bring WHO running?) more than intrigued. Nice voice, though.
Er… maybe? I'd give it another line or two.
huh?Nice sentence but not as an opener that gets me to read the next sentence and then the next...