Miss Snark's First Victim
not so hooked with this one. I guess it's the wish and granting it...seems over done.However-the first 25 words is really hard to judge!!
Not bad. Kind of creepy that it's the sister doing the granting. But still, if he wished things all the time, that could get messy.But the wish thing is pretty familiar. I still need more to be hooked.
Sorry, not hooked.
Prob not the best to comment on a chapter book, but I also question why the sister grants the wish. I want to see more of a dynamic between the siblings
I have a feeling that the sister is being sarcastic? Otherwise, I'm not sure how I feel about this.
It seems too stiffly told for a chapter book. I don't know. It is hard to tell just from 25 words, but most kids reading this would probably not be hooked.
I think the next couple of sentences would really decide things for me, but if this is all I had to go on I'd have to say not hooked.
I'm not hooked. Not exciting enough. I agree this concept is over used. Perhaps there is a better place to begin the MS.
I like the first line, and I'm hooked there. The second (His sister Emily walked over) could use some finessing. Right now it sounds a little stiff, like stage direction. Close!
Maybe. How is the sister able to grant wishes? Or is she saying it just because? I'd read on to see if you answered my questions.
Like others said, it seems a bit stiff. And I, too, thought the sister was being sarcastic.Not quite sure.
Liked it...I figure the relationship between the siblings will be a fun one.
Am I hooked? No. But does that mean a little kid wouldn't be? Hard to say. I think most kids like the idea of free wishes. I don't know if his sister can grant them, or if she's just pretending, but I'd be willing to go a bit further to see.
I liked this and am wondering what his sister knows. Hooked.
For a chapter book, no, not hooked. Because chapter book readers need a really clear set-up. If they could figure things out, they'd be ready for MG books. So not telling us who the boy is or where he is or why he wants a wish to come true, but then having his sister offer to grant it--especially if it's sarcastic--it doesn't feel like a chapter book voice to me. If this were MG, I'd keep reading, though.
Not hooked, sorry.
Not sure on this one. I might give it a little more just to see if something really grabs me, but on its own, this doesn't hook me.