Miss Snark's First Victim
Sorry... not hooked yet. Not sure about the wording with the foot playing with the accelerator like a teenager....
A bit awkward. "Foot" is actually the subject; are we supposed to think it's like a teenager, or Lizzy is?
I like it but I'd drop the sandal-clad foot. It slows the tension down, conjures something lighter instead of danger, which I think you're going for.
"Sandal-clad" & "played" seem to be at odds with the adrenaline-laden scenario. Not sure which way this is going. Not hooked, but I'd press ahead a little longer.
Not really. Sorry.
Sandal-clad doesn't work for me -- sounds like you're trying too hard, the sandal doesn't matter to me.You push an accelerator, not play. And she'd push harder to go faster. The word 'faster' is a speed bump to me. No pun intended.Lizzy pushed the accelerator like a teenager with a new license.
I agree with the others - sandal-clad slows down the action, plus makes me roll my eyes. I am very over description of girly footwear in WF at this point. I think you could also lose Lizzy's last name if we're in her POV. No one thinks of themselves in full name, except maybe Donald Trump ;)
Not a genre I read, but no, not really hooked. I didn't care for the simile right off and I wasn't sure if it compared a teenager with a license driving or playing with said license. It felt a bit too awkward to work as a hook, for me.
Pretty much in accord with the other comments. You have lots of options for strengthening it. One is above. Another: Lizzy Batron might have been a teenager. With a new license.
Lose the sandal-clad and it would get to the point quicker'Play' seems at odds with the intent. 'Planted' or 'Floored' might be stronger verbs
Not scared away, but not grabbed yet.
Without knowing what comes next, it's hard to know what kind of tone you're aiming for. But I agree with everyone else that 'sandal-clad' should be dropped. It creates a light tone and is an obstruction to get through before we get to the point of the sentence. On this alone, I'm not hooked, though of course it's hard to hook someone with only 25 words :-)