Thursday, March 25, 2010

128 YA Paranormal

TITLE: DESOLATION
GENRE: YA Paranormal


Some people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth, but I was born with a pitchfork in my hand. I considered this problem

22 comments:

  1. Love it! Hook for humor and a good, strong MC voice.

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  2. Ouch. Hard on Mom. Moderately hooked.

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  3. A little unsure with this one, though not for any reason I can really speak to. I would definitely give it another paragraph or so, since I like the writer's voice.

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  4. GRINS. I read this too fast and thought you had "but I was born with a pitchfork in mine".

    I do like the first sentence and am hooked by that alone. Even if the pitchfork was in the hand instead of the mouth.

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  5. Congrats! Hooked despite cliche.

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  6. Got me chuckling right off the bat. Hooked.

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  7. I like it. Suggestion - get rid of the but and make the first sentence into two. I think this would make it stronger

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  8. Right now it's a guarded hooked.

    I would prefer a more wry comment such as: 'I considered this to be a problem', because it is purely subjective whether the MC's status is or isn't a problem.

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