Miss Snark's First Victim
Hooked.
Not hooked. Sorry. ㋡
Partial hook. I'd keep reading to find out who Eve was, but right now the pretty description of the magic? is what's got me hooked moreso than the peril to the parents, which may be backwards from how it ought to be.
I like it. Nothing like a succubus electrical storm to get the day going.
I think I'm hooked. I would read more.
Hooked. Yep! :-)
Not hooked. I know I should be feeling danger and worry, but I'm not.
Hooked!
Not hooked with the first sentence. Too much redundancy. I like the second sentence.
Semi-hooked. I'm wondering if it'd flow better if you reworked it as one sentence. The "arched, hissed and sparked" feels a little clunky to me.
Almost hooked--too much in the first sentence, though the second one intrigues me.
I felt bombarded by the first sentence. The second sentence worked better for me
Hooked.
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. Sorry. ㋡
ReplyDeletePartial hook. I'd keep reading to find out who Eve was, but right now the pretty description of the magic? is what's got me hooked moreso than the peril to the parents, which may be backwards from how it ought to be.
ReplyDeleteI like it. Nothing like a succubus electrical storm to get the day going.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm hooked. I would read more.
ReplyDeleteHooked. Yep! :-)
ReplyDeleteNot hooked. I know I should be feeling danger and worry, but I'm not.
ReplyDeleteHooked!
ReplyDeleteNot hooked with the first sentence. Too much redundancy. I like the second sentence.
ReplyDeleteSemi-hooked. I'm wondering if it'd flow better if you reworked it as one sentence. The "arched, hissed and sparked" feels a little clunky to me.
ReplyDeleteAlmost hooked--too much in the first sentence, though the second one intrigues me.
ReplyDeleteI felt bombarded by the first sentence. The second sentence worked better for me
ReplyDelete