Miss Snark's First Victim
I have a disconnect between the first two sentences: If the MC had never stared down the barrel of a gun before (S1), of course he couldn't tell what kind of gun is was (S2). Not quite hooked, although staring down the barrel of a gun is definitely an attention-getting opening.
not hooked only because of the second half of the sentence. :0)
Just b/c he hasn't stared down the barrel of a gun, doesn't mean he doesn't know guns, but there is a bit of a leap involved to make the connection. Clarifying, a bit, I think would help. Partial hook for me.
I'm curious. Not totally hooked, but enough that I'd read a little more to see what was going on.
I liked the first sentence, but expected more from the second. I'd read on a bit, at this point.
Sorta hooked, but I think the second sentence could use some re-wording
First sentence hooked me. Second took all the drama away.
Why would the MC care what kind of gun it was while he was staring down the barrel. I don't know about this one.
The first sentence is great. The second throws me. Why isn't (s)he scared stiff? Also, it is impossible to tell the make of a gun by staring at the muzzle.
Close, but not for me I think.
Semi-hooked because the MC is trying to figure out the make of the gun, rather than freaking out that he's nose-to-nose with one. I'm reading it as a clue to his psyche, not a disconnect.
Am I the only one who likes the second sentence? I think it's perfect and put a unique voice into it right at the beginning, plus it adds just a touch of humor to an obviously serious situation. Unless it isn't intended to do that. If so, I love it.
Not hooked. I wonder if anyone could tell what it was from that position?
Not hooked, sorry. It feels too familiar and not enough spark.