Thursday, March 25, 2010

157 YA SF

TITLE: The 7 Inch Wonders Of The World
GENRE: YA Sci-Fi


Hi humans.

My last owner, the late Candy Buddah of the Child Extermination Camps, has programmed me to tell you a story.
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17 comments:

  1. StinaMarch 25, 2010 at 5:07 PM

    Not hooked. Just get to the story.

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  2. Keren DavidMarch 25, 2010 at 5:10 PM

    You lost me at Child Extermination.

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  3. Joshua McCuneMarch 25, 2010 at 5:13 PM

    Dark, very dark... I'd probably go a bit further.

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  4. TamiMarch 25, 2010 at 5:14 PM

    Not really hooked.

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  5. AnassaMarch 25, 2010 at 5:44 PM

    Not really hooked. I think you could probably find a slightly better opening. The "Hi humans" in particular threw me.

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  6. AnnaMarch 25, 2010 at 5:50 PM

    The implication of a dead child (let alone Child Extermination camps) makes this one probably not something I think I'd keep reading. also "Hi Humans" is jarring.

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  7. JaneMarch 25, 2010 at 6:08 PM

    I'm a sucker for anything that sets up a bunch of questions at the beginning. But are you missing a comma in "Hi, humans" ?

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  8. rheaMarch 25, 2010 at 7:11 PM

    This sounds more like MG to me. I would read a little more to see where this is going.

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  9. Vicki RochoMarch 25, 2010 at 8:59 PM

    Nope, I'd pass. Not my thing.

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  10. A.L. SonnichsenMarch 26, 2010 at 1:16 AM

    I agree with Stina. Get to the story. This beginning seemed a little hokey, imho.

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  11. Sara J. HenryMarch 26, 2010 at 10:04 AM

    Not hooked, sorry.

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  12. Lucy WoodhullMarch 26, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    I love this! I'd keep reading for sure. I want to know what the narrator is, I want to know about the CECs are, etc. I love the fact that an agent of the CEC is named Candy. LULZ.

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  13. MercMarch 26, 2010 at 3:44 PM

    Not hooked. I don't want the narrator starting out TELLING me it's going to tell me a story... I would rather just get on with the story.

    (The darkness didn't bother me, though. The 'let me tell you a story' opening did.)

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  14. BronMarch 26, 2010 at 9:50 PM

    I agree - I'd prefer to get straight into the story.

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  15. Elizabeth JanetteMarch 27, 2010 at 10:49 AM

    I am totally hooked and I know my young students would be as well. I am curious to see where the rest of the story goes because I imagine this can either be really great or . . .

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  16. Cheryl SMarch 27, 2010 at 8:03 PM

    Ooh.. A bit too grim for me.

    'Hi humans' in the same breath as Child extermination camps is a big ask.

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  17. Kelsey (Dominique) RidgeMarch 28, 2010 at 12:07 PM

    I'd probably give you more time, because there's obviously got a story here. But you haven't got me yet.

    'Hi' seems like the wrong salutation.

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