Miss Snark's First Victim
Didn't think I was hooked. Except I want to know why he's grey and gloomy. So I'd keep reading, at least for a bit.
Not precisely hooked here... though I agree with anon, I'd at least read the next line or two to see what Travis' problem is. :)
it's not bad, but it didn't grab me
I'd keep reading.
I'd keep reading, but it felt a tad over-written. I'd cut down on the adjectives.
Not hooked. This is too familiar.
I'd give it a chance.
Not hooked, sorry. It felt far too familiar and overdone.
Wish I could have been hooked but there were too many adjectives for me and they were too common.
This feels overwritten to meThere are 5 descriptors in 25 words. I'm thinking that's too many