Thursday, March 25, 2010

129 Christian Historical Romance

TITLE: Unexpected Miracles
GENRE: Christian Historical Romance


The grey, gloomy sky perfectly mirrored Travis' spirits as he stepped, sore and travel-weary, from the stagecoach.

10 comments:

  1. Didn't think I was hooked. Except I want to know why he's grey and gloomy. So I'd keep reading, at least for a bit.

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  2. Not precisely hooked here... though I agree with anon, I'd at least read the next line or two to see what Travis' problem is. :)

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  3. it's not bad, but it didn't grab me

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  4. I'd keep reading.

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  5. I'd keep reading, but it felt a tad over-written. I'd cut down on the adjectives.

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  6. Not hooked. This is too familiar.

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  7. I'd give it a chance.

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  8. Not hooked, sorry. It felt far too familiar and overdone.

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  9. Wish I could have been hooked but there were too many adjectives for me and they were too common.

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  10. This feels overwritten to me

    There are 5 descriptors in 25 words. I'm thinking that's too many

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